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Family Functions and Inconsiderate Family



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I'm curious if the rest of you have trouble at family gatherings, and I'm not necessarily talking about all the food around you. In my family it seems like we're always waiting on someone to arrive before we eat, and that causes a problem since I have to quit drinking 30 minutes before meals.

Sure, it's not a big deal with it's a little longer than 30 minutes, but let me share what happened yesterday...

We were supposed to meet at a BBQ restaurant. I had stopped drinking about 15 minutes before I arrived. My sister and her family were AN HOUR late. During that time, my mom and dad ordered onion rings and mozzarella sticks and were drinking sodas. Everyone around is eating and drinking. After about 40 minutes, I was furious. It ruined the entire gathering for me.

How do I deal with this? It's not a one-time problem. There have been times when I've finally gotten so thirsty that I drank something and then the people we were waiting on arrived and everyone sat down to eat and I couldn't for 15 minutes.

Am I the only one? Is it silly to be stressing about those 30 minutes? Can I disregard the rule in this situation? I honestly don't even know why that rule is in place--it would help to know. It's not like it takes 30 minutes for liquid to go through the band--or does it???

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Why do you stop drinking 30 minutes before you eat? I drink right up until my first bite and have never had a problem. My doc recommends not drinking for 30 minutes AFTER you eat.... but drinking BEFORE you eat is fine and dandy.

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Hi derby girl. My doc told me nothing to drink 15 mins before eating and one hour after. I guess if it were me, and this is an ongoing problem, I'd sip, sip, sip, til the last person arrived. Let's face it, when a big party is at a resturante, it takes forever to get your food anyway. You've been at this a long time and almost to goal...my guess is you could skip the "before" rule from time to time...but I guess ultimately you should discuss it with you nutritionist or surgeon.

Sorry your dinner enjoyment was squashed by "johnny come lately's". An hour late would ruin it for me...drink or no drink...that's just inconsiderate and rude.

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Why do you stop drinking 30 minutes before you eat? I drink right up until my first bite and have never had a problem. My doc recommends not drinking for 30 minutes AFTER you eat.... but drinking BEFORE you eat is fine and dandy.

I dunno...that's just one the rules my surgeon gave me. I don't really understand why it's such a long time either.

Oh, and musicalmomma, I just almost at my short-term goal. I've only been banded 8 months or so and I have over 100 pounds more to lose AFTER I reach THIS goal.

:faint:

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My doc wants me to drink at least 8 ozs of a non-caloric drink JUST prior to eating. Once I take the first bite of food, then it's no drinking for me until 30-45 minutes after the last bite. He said the liquid just passes on through the band, and helps you with the full feeling as well.

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:) Teehee...thanks, musicalmomma.

I can't believe nobody else is commisserating with me on this subject. My family must suck at being supportive even worse than I thought.

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Dr. Phil once said lateness is nothing less than arrogance. At first I didn't agree. Then I thought about it and yeah, WTH? If you know everyone is meeting at a certain time, who the heck are you to hold everyone else up? People who are chronically late make me very, very cranky.

Okay, I'm done ranting about your sister's lateness. I drink right up til I start eating, then I stop. This practice may keep you cool when you're waiting for people to arrive.

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Personally, I don't wait on people who are chronically late. If they make a habit of it, I'll tell them that we're starting at whatever time, with or without them. (or leaving with or without them). I have no patience for someone who CANNOT bring themselves to be on time to anything. Once in awhile is forgiveable, but not all the time. It's a pet peeve of mine.

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I am not banded yet but I was interested in all of the different things everyone has posted about times their surgeon gave them. I looked back in the paperwork I got from the surgeon at my consult to confirm and he says nothing to drink 1/2 hour before meals and nothing for 1 hour after. There really is a lot of discrepensies (sp?). Who knows who is right? LOL

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It seems every family has someone who is habitually late to everything and it's really a pain in the but. My daughter is the one in my family and she didn't get it from me. I prefer to be anywhere 10-15 minutes early. She gets up early enough but piddles.

As far as drinking goes, I was never told to stop 30 minutes before but have read it on several different boards. I was told an hour after with nothing and that is longer than I can almost handle. It's funny how when you get use to drinking a lot of Water it just about kills you not to be drinking. I'm not sure what the 30 minutes before will do. I know the after is so you don't wash everything down too fast.

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I'm also one of the ones whose doc says no liquids 30 minutes before or after. But oddly enough (think I've already posted this on here somewhere) he cleared me to eat solids just eight days post-op! I'm going to experiment with the pre-meal drinking though. What travelgirl's doc said about driking right up until beginning to eat makes sense to me. The liquid would go right through the band, but in the meantime it seems to me that it would be "rousing" the nerve endings in the stomach pouch so that when you start to eat they're already stimulated, therefore you may get satisfied from the actual food sooner. Anyone heard anything about this or have any opinions?

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Tardiness.....one of the pet peeves in my life (guess it's the ol' school teacher in me!).

No need to quit drinking before a meal.....the 'no drinking afterward' is to keep from washng the food out of your pouch too quickly, but no point in quitting before. However.....I am carefully not to drink iced drinks before eating because it tightens my band and makes it hard for some things to go down (maybe that's what your doc. had in mind??) So if I'm eating out with others and needs to "sip and socialize" before a meal, I order hot tea/ coffee and don't take a chance on getting tightened up.

Doctors and theirs nuts get confused sometimes about 'rules'...maybe he came in LATE to class the day they discussed drinking rules!! LOL!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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