jackie506

Lindaa I started at 275 lbs and size 22-24. Been a LOOONNNGGG road but sooo worth it. I learned many things about myself and others as well as become sssooo much more confident in myself. Janet you are so right about tornados vs eq! I am terrified of both even though I have never dealt with a eq. I can take snow storms/blizzard and thunderstorms but the rest scares the baajeebers out of me! I just HATE the cold cold Iowa winters. It is much warmer south during the winter than here and on average they get approx 10 inches of snow a season NOT A TIME like we do in iowa. It is so great to see posts from so many of the original bandsters! Everyone sounds like they are doing wonderful! There is no way I would ever be able to go back and read to catch up from the last time I was on but so glad to be back!

Really need to update my picture! I will when I get on my computer rather then my phone.

Congratulations!!!!! I have lost 149 lbs! Went fom 275 to 126. Size 24 to 3/4's. Live my new life style and feel so much better! Never would have guessed I would make it here! Live my band and wouldn't change a thing!

The band is definately a tool. The band helps but you do the work. I was 275 lbs and I am not 126 and have stayed steady at 123-126 for about 8 months now. It is a total life change. I had fluid removed from my band and have been empty and still able to maintain. The band assisted me as I learned to eat differently and moticated myself to become more healthy. I love my band and feel that it definately helped me to where I am but I did the work. I find myself many times while in the grocery store I will pick up something that "sounds good" that isnt healthy and then while doing my grocery shopping for healthy meals I think to myself I do not need the stuff that sounds good and it has --calories and -- fat and I rarely walk out of the store with the extra. It ends up back on the shelf.

I FINALLY WAS ABLE TO FIND YOU GUYS AGAIN!!!! I got an email about a post and followed it. Took me a few tries to remember my password. I am doing great and feeling wonderful. Under what my goal was and been stable at 123-126 for a few months. Was so excited when I got my brides maid dress for my sisters wedding and the 4-5 was to big so had to get the 2-3! NEVER thought I would see that! I still struggle with looking at myself and thinking I am "bulging" in places. Dont know if that will ever go away for me. Courtney is doing awsome too!! Down to 131 and holding steady. Doesnt even look like the same person but so much more outgoing and healthy. I am making HUGE changes in my life. I will be moving to Missouri from Iowa the 3rd of June. Was moving to Joplin and still plan to move to around there but will now be staying with my dad until I can find a place. Enough about me...... tell me how everyone else is doing?!?! Cant wait to here about everyone and how your doing!

Hello my lovelies!!! I just wanted to stop in and say hi! I miss everyone! I am continuing on this roller coaster we call life and hoping to hit smaller hills soon. LOL I am really liking the counselor and I am feeling a bit better. She is not telling me anything that I did not hear when I went through my first divorce but I needed the counseling then to make myself emotionally strong enough to proceed as well. I am a person who feels I need to fix everyone else and their problems and unfortunately I let myself fall to the side and forget to 'fix' me. So anyway......... Funny story. Got up this morning and went to the living room after just talking to a friend on the phone about what my yorkies mean to me and etc. Sat down turned the television on and the Today show was interviewing a women about a book she wrote called 'Why my third husband will be a dog" LOL They made references to this women getting rid of one husband and got another yorky and then got rid of her second husband and got ANOTHER yorky. I found it hilarious because I have 3 yorkies and that is what they were joking about. Replacing men with yorkies because they give unconditional love and don't talk back. LOL Anyway, I had to go on amazon and order the book right away just because I thought it would be an upbeat for me. Things he at the homestead are still the same. I am just gonna keep on keeping on. I do not argue with him and I am pleasent to him. I do not dislike him as a person just as a husband. I talked with him the other night about trying to be friends and at the very least being cordual until I get a place. He agreed that would be the easiest to do. Of course he still tries to get me going to I walk away and juswt tell him I am not speaking to him if he wants to fight. I really really need to get into the swing of things for xmas. Just have NO x,as spirit this year. I am usually a very xmas person and just can't find that person this year. The kids are older and the marriage....well you know....and I think that is what is dampening my spirits. It will get better. I truly do feel like there is a light at the end of my tunnel. I see a means to an end. Someone posted on fb the other day 'beginnings are happy, endings are sad so focus on what you had in the middle because that is what matters.; I found that so true and inspiring so I wanted to share. HUGS to all my girls out there. I am hanging in and hanging on.

Ok ladies just ckecking in again. Did not have time to post earlier about my refill appt yesterday. Dr was NOT pleased that I have lost 16 pounds since October 28. I explained all the stress and being sick and ect. He reluctantly gave me MOST of the amount he had removed and did give me a vitamin B12 shot to boost my energy level. Doesn't feel I am lacking but he said with being so sick maybe a boost of B12 would help the fatigue. Wants me to come back in 2 weeks for another and then 2 weeks after that for another. About the counseling. I really like her a lot and was immediately open and honest with her. Many many tears. She does not feel I am emotionally stable enough to say I want a divorce and to follow thru with it right now. I am a person who can't stand to hurt others and I am so worried about hubby if I leave. I know not my problem but I have always taken care of everyone all my life and I am not sure how to take care of ME. I had to counsel before I went thru my first divorce as well. I am a codependent person. Text book case! I will get thru this. I know that. It justs takes time. For me I am not the type that can let people go entirely. I mean I still want them in my life. I do not want the marriage thing with hubby but the caregiver in me still wants to 'be there' for him in case he needs me. Crazy I know. Thru counseling I am hoping to become strong enough to be able to let go and let him take care of himself. I also hope to learn why it is I seek out these needy men so that I can take care of them! I want to someday maybe have a healthy mutual relationship with someone who takes care of themselves but still wants me ya know?! Anyway, I just had to come back and explain a bit. I told my counselor all about my band and band family and she feels it is very good the I have you all as support as well. Kudos to us lucky 7's!! I love you all and appreciate all the words of encouragement and even the tough love given at times. I need it all!!! Thank you!!!

Hello again!! Fly by post but wanted to thank you all for being here. I really needed to hear your words of encouragement. I am still in search for a home. Will be definately waiting until after Christmas to move now. I started counseling today. It was very tearful but I really like the counselor. Sorry so short. I will get back hopefully this weekend.

Ok ladies. I am ok geting drunk and feeling good. I love u all and need u all. I thank you for being here and I will definately need u. Many things changing way to fast. As I drink I kee thinking empty calories. I am a bandster aren't I!!??!!

Ok Ladies...........give it to me!!! I haven't been here in a long time. I have so much to tell so gonna try to make it short version and if you get bored reading I totally understand. I haven't gone back and caught up on all the post yet. Haven't really been on FB much lately either. BLAH Ok so here is my life lately in a nut shell: been interviewing new clients to sign up for our services. We offer supported living to individuals with disabilities. I have a home office but when we do all the hoopla getting new clients we interview them at their home, then another day we go to our intake meeting and present what we have learned about them and then schedule another day to admit them if they are accepted. Then it is writing up goals, making charts (3 of them) and getting all paperwork lined up and funding from the state lined up then work on getting staff to work with them and then 4 days training the staff on the new goals and meeting the new individual. I have 4 of them going right now and will be meeting with intake next Wednesday to take on one more. UUUGGHHH. So that is the work side. NUTS!!!! Home front......looking for a home NOW. Really need to get moved. Hubby not so nice total ass.long story........just being a jerk ALL the time and can't keep his mouth shut about my kids so.........I am leaving ASAP! I have been trying to look at houses inbetween the work stuff. Not many choices considering most people arent moving right before xmas. I did find a house that will be rented BUT it is totally gutted right now and will not be finished for 2 months!! The landlord is out of town until Monday so I will talk to him then but my gf bf is the one doing the work so I know about the house. The owner has about 30 rental properties and this one I like the location the whole outside is totally resided very nice porch on front and beautiful deck on the back and it will be totally NEW inside. 3 bedrooms and an office. Exactly what I need!!! I absolutely DO NOT want to live in the town but it is the most sensible place to move. The kids both work in that town and 95% of my out of office work is in that town. It will be the same distance for my son to drive to his school as it is from where we live now so that he will not have to switch schools for his last year and a half. The house is in town but the EDGE of town so not so close to so many houses within 2 arms length. HATE THAT! Besides this landlord will let me have pets so that is a plus because I have been so upset thinking I have to get rid of my babies. I am so not into the holidays and can not get myself into them. It is terrible. We were supposed to go to hubbies family on Thanksgiving and the night before he told me he did not want the kids and I at his families holiday so he UNINVITED us so we were not going to have anything since that was our plan. My sister called and we were talking and I told her I wasn't going to his family and what was going on. We hung up and she called back a while later and said "I went to the grocery store and we have everything and we are having thanksgiving here so you and the kids will be with me." She is single also. Long tory but she spends her holidays waiting for her kids to come home from their dads and then she does hers. I tell you I am so ready to be on the other side of all this. I am tired of crying. Not because this isn't wait I want to do but because I am so tired of things being up in the air. You all know I have OCD and this unplanned sheet is really getting me. I have to keep plugging along. I am so sorry this is a whine post. I really didn't mean to make it so long and whiney. I think of you all often and think I really need to get here but...........no no but............I have just been busy and dont really have anything positive to post. Sorry!!! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!! Bless you all!! Hugs to all!!

Ok feelin better tonight. Still pushed to much but didn't get sick. Had 2 bite of sirloin steak from the grill. I had to!! First thing in my mouth all day. Really trying to watch it. Gonna maybe have oatmeal later if I am hungry. Trying to stay with fluids til things settle down. Courtney has stayed with my sister the last 5 days and today when she came home WOW her face is so slim and her body is SHRINKING!!! I am so happy for her. She told me she ran today and is really happy because she could and it felt good. I started crying when she said 'mom I am happy. I feel so happy and I want so much for myself and I deserve it." I just love that kid to pieces!!!! Sorry so short have a friend who needs a shoulder just call and they are comin over. TTYL

Ok so I am pissed. Wasted the whole friggin day sleeping! Guess I was just exhausted since not being able to sleep the past how many nights from fluids settling in the chest. Really think I need to give the band some time to settle down now. Throat is sore but I think it is more from the throwing up than anything. Have to say even my cough is some what relieved when I slept today. I really did a number on myself staying to full. Just couldn't get into dr and when I called and could they couldn't get me in. I learned a very valuable lesson though. Listen to my band!! I know that and should have been doing that. I could have caused lots of damage! Dr did say if things don't settle down we will be checking to see if I caused a hyatal hernia. Pray to God that I didn't and things just need to settle down. Just mad at myself. I should have been taking care of myself better and I know to listen to the band. UUGGHHH Anyway, slept very good THE WHOLE DAY!! Very restful sleep. food still not working very well so I am just gonna do liquids. Liquids are going down a lot better than before so that is a plus. Getting my OJ in. Gonna just 'baby' the band as much as possible for a while. Mark that down in the rules of the band: be on alert if you are sick and coughing alot it can cause swelling and need to go to dr immediately! LISTEN TO THE BAND LADIES!!! Well I am off. Need to finish payroll or I will have some women very unhappy with me come next Friday. Good night all!!

Just got back from the ER. Thank God it was my band doctor on call for bariatric instead of the PA. He took out enough to make me comfortable but still have restriction. Was up all night last night because when I would fall asleep and muscles relaxed all the fluids in my stomach would back up and pool in my chest and felt like I was drowning! Even tried setting up but still happened. Dr and I both think it was from being sick and coughing so much that the stomach swelled causing irritation and it hasn't gotten to settle back down cuz it was still swollen from not being relaxed. Anyway I feel so much better!! He looked back in my chart and said the level I was at was my sweet spot 2 other times and then I got sick once and was unfilled and then the whole thing with the new PA happened so he is thibking once things settle back down and I get back to normal I will need my fill back. He only removed. 1CC. I am in no hurry believe me. Now it is time to rest. Need some sleep but don't plan to sleep my whole day away. Gonna sleep a couple hours and then who knows what but the sun is shining and I don't want to waste the day. Check back later.

Hello everyone! Just a flit by post. Wanted you to know I have been thinking of ya! I went back to the doctor and took my son last Thursday for this lingering sore throat and just not feeling well and so darn tired. Well I am over the flu but have STREP THROAT! For lordy sake I should be good after this antibiotic set I hope. Give anything just to feel 'normal' again! Definately have to get into my band doctor this week. Since getting sick as I said before the band has tightened up and it is even tighter now. Uncomfortable. Able to eat but not keep it down. Having some big issues with that. And now after drinking if I bend over I pour out like a tea pot. LOL Will be calling right away Monday. Janet and Phyl pictures are wonderful!! So jealous!! You are a couple real hotties. Janet Earl's message-HAHA hilarious!! I bet he is a hoot to be around huh Phyl! Karla-sorry about selling your house but sounds like you are being proactive and doing something about the situation before it is to far out of control and you lose everything. Peaches-congrats on your loot of fabric for xmas gifts! Those are the best gifts to receive. Steph- keep up with you on FB but sure miss reading your posts here. I understand you are busy and I have no room to talk. Well ladies I am off to bed. Finished cleaning the house top to bottom when I FINALLY got energy to move (at 8:30pm). I even scrubbed the carpets and then lysoled the hell out of everything. I am trying to kill these darn sick germs ! Family thought I was nuts when I said I was cleaning the house and gonna scrub carpets that late. Oh well it is done now and I am happy but exhausted. Janet to answer your question yes I had all my labs drawn last week again. Everything looks good. Iron a little low but she really feels that I am so tired and exhausted from the flu crud. She said that seems to be something many people are dealing with for a few weeks after they get over it. I tell ya.....I sleep more than I ever have in my life!! The weather has been gloomy as well and that is not good for me because I like to sleep and just stay in bed on those days. Old habits still die hard. Good night ladies!!!

Ok I FINALLY am caught up on all the reading. My own fault I fell so far behind I haven't been here in a while. I am so terrible with the posting! I do facebook so often because it is on my blackberry and don't get on my computer unless it is for work usually so....need to just start doing lbt from my blackberry. Anyway Thank you Janet for 'yelling' at me and getting me steered back here. Courtney is doing fine. She is finding and recognizing alot of the time/times she wants to eat it is not because she is hungry. She had a rough day the other day and started crying and said to me 'I am angry and upset and I can't do what I usually do (eat) so what the hell am I supposed to do now~" I calmly told her that was a big step if she recognized that but that she needs to find better healthier ways of dealing with emotions. Of course at that time that is NOT what she wanted to hear. Other than that she has done well. She is on a plateua and discouraged by that but I have assured her eventually those will pass. I on the other hand am really struggling with a tight fill. I have not gotten a fill since Court had surgery but since I was so sick I seem to be pretty tight. I can not eat much at all!! Which is good because if I honestly measured what I am SUPPOSED to eat I am getting that amount in but it is not the amount that my eyes mind wants. My eye is telling me I want more. And it had been a long time since I had good restriction so I am struggling with waiting out the whole time for liquids after drinking. Can't tell you how many times I have slimed and barfed! My own fault. I am back to bandster 101 teaching myself again. Just goes to show I am one that ventured slowly but not completely back to my old ways when I was less restricted. While the cats away the mouse will play kind of thing. I do think I really need just a pinch removed from my band though. I called band doctor and I am supposed to see how I am feeling and get back to them. I still have this crud a bit (coughing, sneezing sore throat) and I am wondering if that is from the pbing and barfing. I am not doing it everytime I eat or anything but often enough. I am going to try 'listening to my band' really close the next couple of days. Well I will get for now. Have dr appt again today to make sure it is still just virus working itself out. I have absolutely no energy and sleeping..........WOW..........I sleep more now than I did at 275 lbs! AND THAT IS A LOT!! and I just have no energy.