Reality Check- I hate my new body

[blashlee 509]

Your honesty is very much appreciated. I'm sorry that you're unhappy with your new body, and I don't wanna sound like a cliche or a repeat of a previous comment by pointing out what you've "gained" by losing. One of the things my therapist pointed out that was something most people struggle with after WLS is that their new body doesn't look the way they expected it to (loose skin, lost breasts, lost hair, things sagging or out of place), and it is a fear I have as i'm 15 days out from RNY...my trainer and PCP think we'll be able to combat the issue with lots of weight training and limiting cardio so I don't burn off muscle mass, but until I get to goal I have no idea what's going to happen. I do hope I can appreciate my transformation, as I'm hoping it will remove the limitations my size has put on my life for the last 28 years

:-\

Again thank you for being so candid, I know it must be difficult.

[Wallflower7522 328]

I'm in my 20s. I've lost 140 lbs and I'm still saggy. My arms and legs are the worst. I go the the gym at least 3 days a week. It won't tighten up your skin. That's just the reality. But you know what going to the gym will do is build muscle. I have a lot of flab but I have a lot of muscle too and it fills out the flab some. I still have bag batwings, and wrinkles. But I've gained almost 10lbs the past few months but my body is still shrinking so I know I'm adding muscle.

Here's my point. You can't control how flabby you'll be and everyone is different. But you can still work on your body and get strong, and fast and build muscle. It's far from perfect but I'm proud of what I've got.

Edited March 23, 2015 by Wallflower7522

[blondebomb 580]

Funniest thing happened yesterday. Had to go to the apple store with my computer. It's heavy so I placed it in a piece of luggage with wheels.

Well, in order to get it out I had to bend down and forward. Behold my boobs decided to slide right out of the bra. They poured out from the top and when I got up I had this bump on my chest that was not exactly easy to conceal. I had the Genius dude right in front of me and it wasn't like I could get my hands in my shirt and organize things. Jeez, ridiculous situation to be in. When I finally got to the car I couldn't help but laugh, look around and rearrange things. Note to self, when purchasing a bra, I must do the bend forward test to make sure things stay in. Trust me, I didn't see this one coming!

don't take this personal but i had to laugh!! Luv it!! ????

[Kimberly Bouche-Perez 48]

Hi, Thank you for sharing. I feel the same way. Funny thing is my son and daughter-in-law just bought me 2 new bra's from Victoria's Secret. Trust me it's worth the money cause if you wash it in the ink and air dry, they last for 2 - 3 years.

Anyway, I needed one caue the 3 they bought me in October 2013 were weay to biug. I went from a 44 D (I thought that as my size) befre my surgery to a 38 DDD just 6 months after my GB.

They are just to big now. I have always said when I was heavy that my boob were rented cause I never had bigger then a B when I was a teenager.

I think I missed a few payments cause MY BOOBS GOT REPOSESSED, lol. No really.

They are gone and what is left is sagging. Makes me feel very self concous.

My thighs look like chicken legs. They are very thin and the skin above the knee looks like candle wax. My husband who has been so supported of all of this, cqan NOT even look at my legs. I did not do all this work just to cover my legs in the summer.

my bat wings are not as bad as they once were, hopefully exercise the right kind will help?

I was very LUCKY to get approved after 3 denials for a Tummy Tuck.< /p>

I had it on 3/20/15. She only took of 1 1/2 - 2 lbs of skins, to my surprise. I Thought it was more.

I am still swollen and have to wear a binder. I am going to the plastic surgeon in the morning and I am hoping I can get the ok to do some light exercise. I can't beleieve this is me saying I want to exercise, lol

So sorry I just went on a rant.

Do I like how I look, not right now.

Am I happy I did the GB 22 months ago. YES

Would I do it again? Even with ALL the complications????? YES YES YES

So everyone has a diffrent experience. I hope I didn't scare anyone. I just wanted to say to the person who started this topic. I hear ya and I am right there with ya.

Keep up with the updates.

Good Luck everyone

[WildGrits 101]

You are far from alone. For me the Roux en Y was the first step for me. I knew I was going to need PS before I was complete. When I told my mom I was have surgery, that was her only thing she went to was her worry about all the skin.

My arms are fine enough for me not to play with. My thighs could use some exercise but the "National Geographic" boobs and the incredible amount of skin on my belly have got to go. I am the oldest of 4 girls and the mom of two. We all are over DDD size. It's part of my identity. Although at a size 34 being that big would be silly to me, I cannot be under a DD.

I have had decent success with the neck and chin sag with Avon products.

For me, I was 135 at 20 years old. In my head somehow I must have thought that once I lost the weight I would be 20 again. Surprisingly I am not.

But I definitely understand where your coming from.

[pinkie1 36]

Well I have contemplated this thought since deciding to go through with the surgery, I know I will have all the excess skin (the deflated balloon look) but the health benefits out weigh it.

I'll admit it I am a vain person and I do suspect there will be days when I will hate my body, and may even regret the surgery.

I already have huge bat wing arms so I know that will get worse.

I am already open to the fact that I will need some reconstructive surgery, I guess in one way I am lucky that I although I am a big woman I didn't get the big boobs, but that worries me too because if I lose any I won't have much there

[imjenn 167]

****warning- this is not a warm and fuzzy post******

I am just shy of 11 months post op. I am down 92 pounds from surgery, 105 from my first appointment. I have been between 152 and 157 for the past 2 months now. This is where it seems I will end up. I went from a 22 pant to size 10. A 2x shirt to a M. I even dropped a shoe size. I was able to drop a good portion of my heart medicine and I no longer feel like I'm going to die walking upstairs. A year ago I would never have been able to walk around campus like I do now. (I'm a college lecturer at a large university) All should be good, but in reality, I hate my new body.

I don't think I'm alone. I think this is one of those "dirty little secrets" many in the WLS community feel but maybe don't verbalize. While I am thankful my health has improved, the mirror has become even more of an enemy. I didn't have wrinkles before, because my face was full. I had boobs, because as we know they are mainly fat. My legs were big but I still wore shorts, something I won't be doing this spring and summer. I had an ass, one that didn't sag and one that protected my tailbone that is now permanently bruised and inhibits sleeping on my back.

I know this a negative post and I don't mean to be such a "debbie downer" about this experience. But I think it's important to talk about the tough stuff. The reality of what it might feel like a year out for many people. It's not all "kum by yah" and being thinner does not solve all of our whoas. I miss my boobs. I hate plopping my saggy skin into a sports bra and positioning it to resemble boobs. I hate the fact that the skin on my legs hangs over my knees. I hate the wrinkles on my face and the skin under my chin. I hide my body from my husband more than I did before. I don't smile when I look in the mirror like I assumed I would. Maybe someone warned me about these things- but I must not have listened because I was not prepared for how I currently feel.

Was the surgery worth it? Yes because my health is still the priority. But this reality, well my friends, it sucks.

You're young. You're beautiful. You're HEALTHY. You've been so successful and have gotten off your medicines! You're doing SO GREAT! Don't feel down! Your health is number one. Maybe look into some counseling to help with these negative feelings you have about your appearance. In my eyes, you've done fantastic and you should be so very proud.

[Jennifer03 4]

I hate you feel this way. I have not had my surgery yet. However, I want to thank you for your honesty. It will help me mentally prepare for what may happen.

[Cupcake 801]

I'm sorry that you feel the way that you do perhaps with time your mind changes. Have you thought about plastic surgury? I just had my Tummy Tuck down with muscle repair , exercise will help strengthen and tone some of that loose skin . Hang in there you are all beautiful and we all know how hard we can be on ourselves . Good luck .

[em1 19]

****warning- this is not a warm and fuzzy post******
I am just shy of 11 months post op. I am down 92 pounds from surgery, 105 from my first appointment. I have been between 152 and 157 for the past 2 months now. This is where it seems I will end up. I went from a 22 pant to size 10. A 2x shirt to a M. I even dropped a shoe size. I was able to drop a good portion of my heart medicine and I no longer feel like I'm going to die walking upstairs. A year ago I would never have been able to walk around campus like I do now. (I'm a college lecturer at a large university) All should be good, but in reality, I hate my new body.
I don't think I'm alone. I think this is one of those "dirty little secrets" many in the WLS community feel but maybe don't verbalize. While I am thankful my health has improved, the mirror has become even more of an enemy. I didn't have wrinkles before, because my face was full. I had boobs, because as we know they are mainly fat. My legs were big but I still wore shorts, something I won't be doing this spring and summer. I had an ass, one that didn't sag and one that protected my tailbone that is now permanently bruised and inhibits sleeping on my back.
I know this a negative post and I don't mean to be such a "debbie downer" about this experience. But I think it's important to talk about the tough stuff. The reality of what it might feel like a year out for many people. It's not all "kum by yah" and being thinner does not solve all of our whoas. I miss my boobs. I hate plopping my saggy skin into a sports bra and positioning it to resemble boobs. I hate the fact that the skin on my legs hangs over my knees. I hate the wrinkles on my face and the skin under my chin. I hide my body from my husband more than I did before. I don't smile when I look in the mirror like I assumed I would. Maybe someone warned me about these things- but I must not have listened because I was not prepared for how I currently feel.
Was the surgery worth it? Yes because my health is still the priority. But this reality, well my friends, it sucks.

[pallavi 43]

My psychologist who was part of my surgery team did mention if I was ok to have saggy skin and made sure that I understood that I may have wrinkles n saggy skin. He asked me a bunch of questions to make sure I was ready for the operation. I'm also a year out. I do have a little of saggy boobs n wrinkly skin on my tummy but they don't bother me because I'm more happier with my weight right now and most importantly I'm healthy n can do little thing like tieing my shoe laces n walking.

Sent from my SM-G900W8 using BariatricPal mobile app

[WildGrits 101]

I FEEL YOU!!!

Before my surgery I did my psych appointment and could verbalize things that my head really didn't believe.

This is just a tool, I will have to do the hard work. This surgery will not fix my marriage. This surgery will not make my job better. You will be left with sagging skin.

A year and a few months after my surgery I had reached goal. I was an apple so my legs and arms didn't have a ton of sag. My belly and boobs where their own story. There was no way I was going to be able to go thru life with all this skin. It was the one true down fall.

I started looking at plastic surgery out of the country but end up getting a personal loan to have an extreme Tummy Tuck and new boobs done locally. Let me say that plastic surgery hurt more than the Roux en Y. After that was all done, I still was unhappy. Those were not my boobs. I still had no waist due to having very narrow hips. The surgery did not make me pretty. That was the hardest thing to face. It takes a lot for me to look at that person in the mirror and be OK with myself.

On a good note, the parts of me that I didn't have plastic on did shrink up, like my bingo wings and chin. I do have deep smile lines but when I looked into having them done, I decided no cause even fat I had them just not so deep. They would probably go away if I wasn't dehydrated all the time. I hate drinking since the surgery.

[summerset 5,261]

8 minutes ago, WildGrits said:

Before my surgery I did my psych appointment and could verbalize things that my head really didn't believe.

This is just a tool, I will have to do the hard work. This surgery will not fix my marriage. This surgery will not make my job better. You will be left with sagging skin.

I would have told any psych anything to get approved. Of course the sagging skin sucks. Of course other things surgery related suck - but it's still better than having a BMI of 46.

Was I "ready for surgery"? Was I "prepared"? Actually I don't care if I was and I think that there are certain things you "can't be prepared for", this includes WLS.

You will only know if you were "ready" if you can cope after surgery.

[enigma_007 95]

I would have told any psych anything to get approved. Of course the sagging skin sucks. Of course other things surgery related suck - but it's still better than having a BMI of 46.
Was I "ready for surgery"? Was I "prepared"? Actually I don't care if I was and I think that there are certain things you "can't be prepared for", this includes WLS.
You will only know if you were "ready" if you can cope after surgery.

I agree. No matter how much mental preparation i try to give myself pre -op, i know that theres so much i cant comprehend emotionally and mentally until im faced with it. Yes saggy skin does frighten me...but if this surgery will give me better health and more energy than i dont care. All my life ive been tucking my fat into slimming shapeware anyway. Working out alot with wieghts minimizes loose skin..ive seen many wls patients do it, so thats an option. I just want to be here for my kids as long as i can. Im unhappy abt my wieght but i love my life now. And i think so many ppl go into wls thinking it will change how they feel abt their life. Its been two years since i left an abusive relationship (physical,emotional, mental). This wls is a step in getting my life back and living my life for me and my kids. Its so important to love urself and be ur own cheerleader. Ur saggy skin doesnt define u, nor do wrinkles or other physical aspects we r so hard on ourselves abt. Remember their is a beating loving heart inside u. Be proud of everything u are.

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[Pat Pac 16]

Pinkie don’t worry boobs work is not painful