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How many people kept Weight Loss Surgery a secret ?



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I have read other post on this subject and there is always a mix, some who told no one, some that told a few and some that told everyone. I chose to tell no one, only my husband knows. Didn't tell my kids , my mom or any friends. I am not comfortable talking about what I consider private things with people. I know other people who had the surgery and have heard the comments like how they took the easy way. This is NOT easy and totally takes over your life , because it is your life. I didn't want to feel like I had to defend my decision to anyone. Why do people think that having the surgery is not ligitiment, thats it "cheating" ? If they discovered a single pill to kill cancer, if you took that pill instead of going thru cemo and radiation would they think that was cheating ? they finally found a medical way to help people who battle weight, people who have never had to fight the weight just will never understand how hard that fight is. Thanks for listening.

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You're absolutely right, it's no one's business but your own. And IF you choose to tell someone, that's the way it should be - by your choice. I think people say it's cheating out of ignorance, they don't really know what all goes into this surgery, and what is involved for after the surgery. If they say they do know what it's all about and STILL feel it is cheating, then I think they are probably just mean. Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't fathom why anyone would say or feel that it is cheating. Good for you for sticking to what you feel is right for you!

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No one from work. Told closest relatives and friends.

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Told only my immediate family and a handful of very close friends. All of whom only want the best for me. No one at work knows and I didn't tell my in-laws. I tell my husband all the time, my surgery wasn't and isn't a "secret"-- it's private. There is a difference. Congrats on your success.

Shorty54, I am interested to know though-- What do you tell people about how you lost the weight? I'm only a couple weeks out so I haven't had to cross that bridge yet!

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Being so excited about having the surgery, I think I've told everyone. I wasn't aware that ignorant people would provide negative feedback and so far, so good.

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kndoster, Just like probably you and everyone else on here, many times have dieted and lost and have had the usual conversations about it, including what exercising I was doing like going to the gym almost everyday and walking. So now I just say that I made up my mind that I wasn't giving up this time and sticking to it. When people make comments and my husband is there he speaks right up and says, "she's working hard at it and I help her by walking with her as much as I can" . We also says that its not as much dieting as it is cutting way down on my portions and not snacking, cutting carbs, cutting out soda, ect. . So when I'm around people and we're eating and I only eat a little, it all fits. Every once in a while my husband will say "I can't believe we're getting away with this " lol. Maybe someone suspects, I don't know, but unless they are really rude they're not going to bring it up. All I know is if I had told people I would also feel self concious thinking they were judging me in a negative way behind my back. As hard as I have worked in the past to lose, only to see it creep back on, I feel like I deserve to feel empowered by a sense of accomplishment.

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Only fiancee and my kids no-one else in the planet but my doctors. Plan to keep it that way.

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...............If they discovered a single pill to kill cancer, if you took that pill instead of going thru cemo and radiation would they think that was cheating ? they finally found a medical way to help people who battle weight, people who have never had to fight the weight just will never understand how hard that fight is.....

Shorty, who is your surgeon? My surgeon uses that exact comparison! :-)

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I had planned on not telling anyone but have told a few. I am still preop. Last week I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes so I am eating very different and excercising a lot so in sure the weight will start to come off before I have surgery so I plan on using the diabetes route for my excuse for losing weight!

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And I meant to say......I have only told 4 people and no one from work will be told. If anyone asks my plan is to honestly say that I am moving more and eating less.

I am 7 days out....surgery is 3/17...I've got the luck of St. Patrick going in with me....hahaha.

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just like you... only my spouse. :)

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After a while it's hard to hide , and everyone wants to know how you did it and you have to come clean. I didn't want anyone to know cause I was (A) a little ashamed and (B) if I failed ( down the road ) no one would know that I had surgery but after a year and 125LBS people stRt asking questions. !! I've learned be proud cause it's still a lot of work and mental stress

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I've thought long and hard. My surgery is coming up 3/16/15 and my wife is the only person that knows. I want to tell me fried s but they are all SMALL and in good shape. And one friend love him I do, but he is a idiot and just wouldn't understand. I fear telling people for the fact of being judged. I still can't believe I have to have a procedure to loose weight. So I guess it has to do with me being able to confront the facts

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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