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How many people kept Weight Loss Surgery a secret ?



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Glad I am not the only one. Told only my husband and the supervisor who had to approve my leave. Mostly because the dr's office is on the fmla form. Everyone else is aware I have been working on losing since last year.

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I am a very new newbie! I am going to my first orientation meeting next week with my hubby. I have only told him and my friend(that is six weeks post op)I think it's too early to say anything yet, as I'm just beginning the process and I'm wanting to keep it private. As I get further into the process I may change my mind but that's where I'm at right now.

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I kept it between me and my best friend for the longest. Then I told my aunt. Recently, I told my close co-workers, supervisor, and boss. I mainly told them because my nerves was getting the best of me. By the time I get back to work they will all know I'm sure. Nothing is kept a secret for too long in that office. My family does not have a clue. My mom, son, sister, brother none of them know.

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I have read other post on this subject and there is always a mix, some who told no one, some that told a few and some that told everyone. I chose to tell no one, only my husband knows. Didn't tell my kids , my mom or any friends. I am not comfortable talking about what I consider private things with people. I know other people who had the surgery and have heard the comments like how they took the easy way. This is NOT easy and totally takes over your life , because it is your life. I didn't want to feel like I had to defend my decision to anyone. Why do people think that having the surgery is not ligitiment, thats it "cheating" ? If they discovered a single pill to kill cancer, if you took that pill instead of going thru cemo and radiation would they think that was cheating ? they finally found a medical way to help people who battle weight, people who have never had to fight the weight just will never understand how hard that fight is. Thanks for listening.

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I've been researching weight loss surgery for a few years. I've talked with others who have had bypass surgery. There will always be some people who are uneducated as to what is involved in having WL surgery & what life is like after surgery. Those who say (and there will be some because I've witnessed those who have spoken out about it in my presence) that the person has taken the easy way out have no idea. Ignorance is just that -- INGNORANCE!! Like someone wrote previously...if there was a cure for cancer in the form of a pill & someone chose the pill versus chemo or radiation would people say that they were taking the easy way out? People who have weight issues they've been dealing with (some for years & some all their lives) & haven't been able to get it under control on their own (by trying many of the conventional methods without success) will try the most drastic means (WL surgery) to save their life. None if us wants to die needlessly when there is an option left for us to try to get healthy & fit. I'm not ashamed to admit I need the help that WL surgery can provide. If the people I tell don't like what I'm doing they don't have to. But being judgmental is just them being insensitive to someone else's wishes. They're either being mean, jealous, or they're afraid of surgery. Its all about them & not about me. I've told my closest friends, my kids, my sister & brother-in-law, & my coworkers that I'm starting my journey to having WL surgery because they should know why I'm going to have a lot of appointments in the next few months. I will be letting my supervisor know next week because I'll need to take some time off work in about 2-3 months from now for my surgery. If they can't be supportive then I don't need them in my life. This is a positive thing I'm doing for myself & I don't need negativity around me. Almost everyone I've told is fine with it. My brother-in-law doesn't think I should go to such drastic measures & thinks I just haven't found the right diet yet. He still believes that "calories in / calories out" is the true way to lose the weight. Those of us who have tried every means of losing & keeping the weight off know that hasn't worked for us. If it had we wouldn't be on this site. One of my coworkers asked me why I would want to do this. I answered her as honestly & calmly as I could by telling her that with my weight & health issues are killing me slowly & I want to live long enough to see & enjoy my kids & my future grandkids. She accepted that & moved on. Even if she didn't it wouldn't change the way I feel. Its my decision & my life. I didn't come to this decision lightly. I needed to have as much information & knowledge about the process before making my decision & be prepared to be able to live the lifestyle that comes with it. I'm finally ready to do that!!

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Hi! :)

When I began this wls process, I completely kept it a secret & only my parents knew. It wasn't until later, when dates were chosen for appointments and I was closer to my actual surgical date, that I mentioned it to a few more family members and my best friends. The more I talked about it and actually said that I was having wls out loud, the more comfortable I became with the idea and the less embarrassed I felt. However, I have chosen to not plaster my news all over Facebook because there are many people that I'm "friends" with that I don't want to know.

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I've told my wife and kids only. I have no intention to tell anyone else; not my mom, brother, or closest friend. I believe once you tell one person that you can't trust 200% to keep your private information private, that you might as well post on Facebook, the go ahead and Tweet away too. I'm not ashamed of my decision, nor am I afraid of any negativity. I do care what people think, I just don't care what they think about me. I'm simply just not interesting in giving the drama kings/queens something more to talk about, especially when it comes to my personal medical record. Am I concerned others will figure it out? Nope.

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Nobody from work. Only told closest family members and friends.

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I told my parents, my kids, my closest friends, and my aunt. If people want to ask what I am doing to lose weight, I will tell them Portion Control, and exercise. That is the truth, and my psych actually suggested it. The truth is, like diet, and exercise, the sleeve is only a tool. This is one of the hardest things I have done. I am 6 weeks out, and food is an issue. Getting all my fluids in is an issue. Nausea, and puking after eating can be an issue. This is not for the faint of heart. Dealing with judgement, or negativity is not something I feel like doing. I have not regretted my decision for a second.

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I told 3 family members, 1 friend and my boss.

When I was going through the process of getting all the tests that needed to be done before surgery, I had so much negative unsolicited advice from..... the lab techs - to the psychologist to the x-ray techs to the cardiologist. Everyone of them tried to talk me out of it. I decided then just not to tell anyone and avoid any negatives to something I knew was going to be such a positive experience for me.

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I'm learning the hard way to stop telling people or talking about it. My sister gave me articles in a Fitness magazine to read yesterday "before I make a decision". She clearly doesn't understand that I've read, researched, & tried everything under the sun to lose this weight. Articles about things I already know about are not going to help me or change my decision. I'm keeping quiet from here on in. My son is the one big supporter of my decision for WLS. He's watched me try diet after diet to get healthy& knows my struggles. He's actually okay with it because he's never seen me at a normal weight & healthy and he wants that for me as much as I do.

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I pretty much told the world. I announced it on Facebook and told all my friends and family. I decided to do it that way because in the past when I've been trying to lose weight I've kept it to myself like nobody has noticed that I carry about 100 extra pounds. I've not been successful that way, so I decided to just put it out there. I know a number of people who have been successful with some form of WLS, and i knew they would be a source of support. I work in healthcare, so my colleagues have also been really supportive. Mostly I did it because I tend to try to do everything on my own and have a hard time asking people for help. If I'm going to be successful I need help. Being open gives me a lot of options for help and support.

I know that everyone's situation and comfort level is different. I will probably be a little uncomfortable with some of the attention when my weight loss starts to be obvious, but that would have happened anyway.

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I told everyone.

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I'm a private person and have told very few people I had surgery. I had the band 4.5 years ago and want to convert to sleeve due to vomiting and insufficient weight loss. Maybe after I get to goal I may tell someone, but honestly right now I am not telling anyone. I really don't even want to tell my parents, but I need someone to drive me to the hospital and watch my dogs overnight, otherwise I wouldn't even tell them. And I'm not telling them until I have a date.

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My husband knows (and is a super supporter). And two girlfriends, each who live over 1,000 miles away, know. And they're cool.

Other than that, no one knows. Not any of my sibilngs, friends, clients, in-laws, acquaintances.

Just you guys. :)

It is so wonderful not to have to discuss it with ANYONE who thinks it's weird.

Love it.

A.

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
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      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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