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Other people's reactions (and dumb things they say)



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I've only told some people about looking into surgery. My mom, although supportive, said things like "well, I know your Dad's main problem is he reads when he eats." Um, Dad is more obese than I am. I have a BMI of 40, he's got to be at least 50. He didn't get that way JUST from reading at some of his meals, mom. She said it like, well, if I would just make sure I don't read while I eat (and I do, sometimes), I'd lose all the weight. No, no I wouldn't. Hell, I've tried it. I'e done the mindfullness things. I've done EVERYTHING.

Another favorite was the "have you done the whole 30 yet?" from a friend. Yes, I've done paleo. I lost 15lbs. Then started gaining again, while still eating paelo and even when getting more strict. I've also done vegetarian, vegan, Atkins, weight watchers, and Jenny Craig.

Or, "have you thought about _______ exercise equipment?" I have a gym membership. At one point I was working out 6 days a week. For an hour at a time. Exercise won't fix this, especially now that my feet hurt and cramp every time I try. I did walk 45 minutes on the treadmill yesterday, and even at a slower speed that i used to use my knee was tender the rest of the day, and my feet were sore later. Heck, if it was about exercise just carrying around an extra 100lbs should be burning all sorts of calories!

Basically, I get it. I need to eat well and move more. But if that alone did the trick, I'd be thin. For whatever reason, my body doesn't respond right. Gut microbes or plastic pollution or hormones, who knows. But even when I was on my feet lifting 40lb animals and such for 10 hours a day as a vet tech I lost all of 5lbs, then put on 30lbs.

If I didn't need surgery, I wouldn't get surgery. (not to mention there is ZERO evidence that anything works on obese patients other than surgery)

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Obesity is a multifactorial disease which requires a whole toolbox of treatment modalities. One of my pet peeves is when I hear a version of "it's just a matter of burning more calories than you take in." It is such an ignorant comment and drives me nuts! :)

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With most diets you can lose weight but eventually you will gain the weight back plus 10 pounds. So the more times you diet, the more your weight gain. Eventually you will reach the point where you body does not respond. All the exercise and dieting have no effect on weight loss.

I had RNY surgery 22 months ago, It was very much different from dieting. I completely lost my hunger. When you do not have hunger constantly gnawing at your bones, it becomes easy to lose weight. It happens quick. I was losing about 2 pounds per day for several months before it tapered off. Maybe the word "easy" is wrong because there is a lot of work involved in keeping track of your Vitamins, Protein, fluids and meal allotments but it is a totally different experience than dieting.

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I started this experience sharing with everyone, I'm a very open mind person. I was thinking: "I have an illness and I need surgeon to solve it" but people think that know everything and they give you their opinion even if you haven't asked and they haven't lived in your body (so they know nothing about the obesity). After a couple of weeks, I started to hear this kind of stupid comments and I change my mind. Now I'm maintaining the surgery in my private space, sharing only with my real friends and family and avoiding that comments from anyone.

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My favorite is "Why don't you just stop eating so much?" I want to say "Oh! Ok! Thats it! I never tried that before.."

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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