I've only told some people about looking into surgery. My mom, although supportive, said things like "well, I know your Dad's main problem is he reads when he eats." Um, Dad is more obese than I am. I have a BMI of 40, he's got to be at least 50. He didn't get that way JUST from reading at some of his meals, mom. She said it like, well, if I would just make sure I don't read while I eat (and I do, sometimes), I'd lose all the weight. No, no I wouldn't. Hell, I've tried it. I'e done the mindfullness things. I've done EVERYTHING.

Another favorite was the "have you done the whole 30 yet?" from a friend. Yes, I've done paleo. I lost 15lbs. Then started gaining again, while still eating paelo and even when getting more strict. I've also done vegetarian, vegan, atkins, weight watchers, and Jenny Craig.

Or, "have you thought about _______ exercise equipment?" I have a gym membership. At one point I was working out 6 days a week. For an hour at a time. Exercise won't fix this, especially now that my feet hurt and cramp every time I try. I did walk 45 minutes on the treadmill yesterday, and even at a slower speed that i used to use my knee was tender the rest of the day, and my feet were sore later. Heck, if it was about exercise just carrying around an extra 100lbs should be burning all sorts of calories!

Basically, I get it. I need to eat well and move more. But if that alone did the trick, I'd be thin. For whatever reason, my body doesn't respond right. Gut microbes or plastic pollution or hormones, who knows. But even when I was on my feet lifting 40lb animals and such for 10 hours a day as a vet tech I lost all of 5lbs, then put on 30lbs.

If I didn't need surgery, I wouldn't get surgery. (not to mention there is ZERO evidence that anything works on obese patients other than surgery)

Obesity is a multifactorial disease which requires a whole toolbox of treatment modalities. One of my pet peeves is when I hear a version of "it's just a matter of burning more calories than you take in." It is such an ignorant comment and drives me nuts!

With most diets you can lose weight but eventually you will gain the weight back plus 10 pounds. So the more times you diet, the more your weight gain. Eventually you will reach the point where you body does not respond. All the exercise and dieting have no effect on weight loss.

I had RNY surgery 22 months ago, It was very much different from dieting. I completely lost my hunger. When you do not have hunger constantly gnawing at your bones, it becomes easy to lose weight. It happens quick. I was losing about 2 pounds per day for several months before it tapered off. Maybe the word "easy" is wrong because there is a lot of work involved in keeping track of your Vitamins, Protein, fluids and meal allotments but it is a totally different experience than dieting.

I started this experience sharing with everyone, I'm a very open mind person. I was thinking: "I have an illness and I need surgeon to solve it" but people think that know everything and they give you their opinion even if you haven't asked and they haven't lived in your body (so they know nothing about the obesity). After a couple of weeks, I started to hear this kind of stupid comments and I change my mind. Now I'm maintaining the surgery in my private space, sharing only with my real friends and family and avoiding that comments from anyone.

My favorite is "Why don't you just stop eating so much?" I want to say "Oh! Ok! Thats it! I never tried that before.."