Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What the H*LL happened to you?!



Recommended Posts

It always amazes me how people respond to my weight loss. And this was one of the boldest and actually a little accusing of sorts.

I was asked to canvas for the Heart and Stroke foundation on my street. I have never done anything like that before and since they could not find anyone to do it I said sure why not. This last few days I have been able to do it between blizzards. ( Did I mention I hate winder now )

Everyone was kind to me and even donated great amounts. But last night as I was finishing the canvasing, I got a response that made me think say what!

The husband let me in and told me to wait while he got some change for me. As he was going down stairs he asked his wife if she heard the door bell. She said no, who is it. He said I don't recognize her but she says she is one of our neighbors. Who, she asks? He says, I don't know! She says well I need to have a look. she comes up the stairs and says, who are you? I say I am Jane Hess your neighbor. That is when she said the above to me. Then she says you have lost 2/3 's of yourself. I said well I think I lost 1/2 but that's no matter. Which she replies what happened?

I tell her I had a surgery in 2012 and became septic, ended up in a coma and was in the hospital for 5.5 months. Where did you have the surgery she asks. I say Moncton. she said with Dr. B right. I say yes. She said is that why extra mural was at your home for months. And I say yes they looked after me when I got out of the hospital. At the Dumont right! I said yes. She says and this was the interesting part.....

We know what you did. We all know what surgery you had so stop trying to hide it from us. I looked at her blankly and was just about to open my mouth in a well " What I do is none of your F*****G business" when she proceeds to ask me about my children. How many grand children I have and where are my kids now?

The thing is I have not spoken to her in over 20 years. Yes she is my neighbor but we did not get along. So I kept my distance and hoping that her husband would answer the door was ruined when to my delight he did, but then she came up because she is so nosy. So I got my 5 dollars and left.

I really don't give a dead rats tail anymore who knows or who doesn't. I did at first but I no longer have a fear of judgement. How did she know so much about my surgery unless she knows someone who had it done or considered it herself? That I would like to know but was just glad to get the blink out of there....

It never ceases to amaze me how people respond to the new me and what they think they have a right to say...And it was a great reminder why I never had much to do with her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good grief RJ! That's awful - what a witch!

In my field I often find that any conversation I have with someone who is going through some personal angst will be all about their issues, even if we never talk directly about them! --i.e. "How was the concert?" "It was awful and the musicians weren't playing together and the conductor seemed disconnected" -- translation upon further conversation with her was really: 'my kids are a mess and going off on their own directions and my husband is cold and oblivious!'

ABSOLUTELY no excuse, I'm just saying this sounds entirely about her crud and nothing about you. I've read so many of your posts and SO enjoyed them, and there's nothing evasive or hiding in the way you present yourself, and for someone who's not spoken to you in so long to think she knows anything about you....well, I repeat, it's all about her!

Your success and perseverance and very real attitude has been an incredible inspiration to me so many times, and I find I smile each time I see a new post with your lovely picture on it. And what a giving thing to do such selfless work for the Heart and Stroke Foundation! You rock!!

Kate

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

three years ago I would not have been at her house at all. Three years ago my back was so bad from the strain of my weight that I could not stand for more then 10 min. I would not have been able to stand there and listen to her bull. I would not have been able to walk the street.

This surgery has been a life saver for me. Even though I have been through so much to be able to even do this canvasing work is something I could not have done three years ago. I am truly thrilled that I can walk and stand for long periods of time....:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rj. I am from Sussex, so not thst far away! In our area, there are very few people who have WLS that I know of. So I am very apprehensive about telling people about my upcoming surgery, for the very reason of running into situations like the one you wrote about. It's a shame really!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Rj. I am from Sussex, so not thst far away! In our area, there are very few people who have WLS that I know of. So I am very apprehensive about telling people about my upcoming surgery, for the very reason of running into situations like the one you wrote about. It's a shame really!!

Sussex N.B Canada...If so we are no further then 40 min away from each other....How exciting is that....

When I went for my pre-op interview my surgeon told me that he had done WLS on several people in my area. I was like say what! Never knew of anyone. I don't know if I would be out if I had not had complications. But I am glad I tell everyone if they want to listen.......

I am a promoter for this life saving tool.......I know I got a life back..And if I did, there are a lot of others out there who need to know about it!

Congrats on your upcoming surgery...Who is doing it anyway? :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

know what you did. what surgery you had stop trying to hide it

@RJ'S/beginning

do you see me RJ??

my mouth is hanging :o

unbelievable, unbelievable!!! :huh:

she is an unnecessary "blob" on the blackboard :huh:

erase it (her)!! :D

kathy

Edited by proudgrammy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How dare you hid your healthyness from her.

The neighborhood narcissist is at it again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She sounds like she is jealous. You were right to move on from her. Keep moving.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally agree with Blue Sky - you are so above that kind of cr*p!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh I always knew she was odd. That is why I never spent time with her...And she proved I was right....lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RJ's I am having my surgery done in Bathurst by Dr. Marc Savoie. Just waiting for my surgery date. I had a referral in with Dr. Beausoliel as well, but his wait time is 2 more years..I was referred in 2009 so I decided the extra drive was worth getting it done so much sooner.


RJ's I am having my surgery done in Bathurst by Dr. Marc Savoie. Just waiting for my surgery date. I had a referral in with Dr. Beausoliel as well, but his wait time is 2 more years..I was referred in 2009 so I decided the extra drive was worth getting it done so much sooner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's awesome!!! So you're feeling good?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RJ's I am having my surgery done in Bathurst by Dr. Marc Savoie. Just waiting for my surgery date. I had a referral in with Dr. Beausoliel as well, but his wait time is 2 more years..I was referred in 2009 so I decided the extra drive was worth getting it done so much sooner.

RJ's I am having my surgery done in Bathurst by Dr. Marc Savoie. Just waiting for my surgery date. I had a referral in with Dr. Beausoliel as well, but his wait time is 2 more years..I was referred in 2009 so I decided the extra drive was worth getting it done so much sooner.

Yes I have heard about him. Now there is one in Fredericton. Two in Bathurst. Finally some more help in N.b for these much needed surgeries. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There seems to be a person in every neighborhood like that. What an ass!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×