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how do you answer the questions from people who don't know you had wls?



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I am 4 days post-op and anticipating the questions that will arise when I return to real life. I told very few people that I was having wls and I know that a few weeks or months out, people will start noticing the weight loss and asking about it. I have also wondered how I can eat around my coworkers and friends without them noticing my drastically altered eating habits. I am curious how others have handled it. Right now I feel like I don't want to share this with many people, but I also think it will be difficult to keep private in the long term.

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Don't tell unless you want to. My coworkers noticed but I was honestly working on my weight even before considering surgery and lost 20lbs post so far.

When they ask me if I lost weight I simply reply, "Yes." and surprisingly they don't ask anything further. They just say, "You look good."

I'm a very private person. I didn't even realize how private until people started getting shocked about learning about me on the job. (I've been at my job for almost 10 years) I have just never really opened up.

My thought behind it is once I tell, I can't even untell.

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I was always on a diet...LOL they all know i was type 2 diabetes.. and wanted to get my A1C down.

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No one has asked. I have gained and lost weight so many times since I've been working at my job that I think everyone is just used to my constant fluctuations. By the time they realize I'm not re-gaining this time around, they will probably be too ashamed to ask, having not commented or complimented me as I was losing.

As for eating around coworkers, I still participate in office parties and whatnot, I just only eat high Protein options and not very much. If anyone asked, I would just tell them I'm doing high-protein/low-carb and leave it at that.

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I have had these same concerns! I have not had surgery yet, so I've decided not to tell my friends until I know for sure everything will work out. My closest friends are going to be difficult NOT to tell because they are so nosey!! and I'm so bad at lying!! Therefore, I have decided to tell my closest friends because of that and I expect they will be good support for me. Other acquaintances, however, I think I'm just going to say that I'm on high Protein and low carbs to better control my type 2 Diabetes. I just can't wait for a thinner life!! I'm so proud and happy for those of you who have already done it!! I'm a little afraid of some of the possible complications; hair loss, heartburn, diarrhea, Constipation, and not being able to get in enough Protein and/or Water. I've read SO much about all these complications!! I'm planning to stay positive though and get through this and enjoy life again!!

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I was so wrapped up in myself the first couple months (you really have to be) that I used to fret about what friends and clients would notice what I was or was not eating at lunches and other public functions. The truth was, nobody cared or even noticed. I don't think about it at all anymore.

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I have never had an issue with telling anyone. If the subject comes up I just tell them what I did. I even had the opportunity to tell a lady that was thinking about the Sleeve what a great decision I had made. She was very large & I hope she goes on to do the Sleeve for health reasons.

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I work in an ER and it's hard to get away from the department to eat. So, most of us scarf food down in the control area in between seeing patients. It's made for a lot of unhealthy habits. When I started the preop diet and started sipping broth at the desk I got a lot of WTF? A few people knew going in. If people asked, I was honest about my plans for surgery and actually ended up with a huge support group and people rooting for me in my corner. I go back to work next Monday. I feel good about it because I've had quite a few people call and text me while I've been off! You just have to figure out what works for you.

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Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I have spent so much of my life worrying about what other people think that the biggest challenge of this surgery may be learning to take care of myself and not worry about others. I'm a very private person as well and I have to give myself permission to put my needs before others' curiosity.

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I lost 60 pounds PreOp and received lots of questions about what I was doing to lose the weight. I would always answer that I follow a high protein/low carb diet with consistent exercise. After I had the sleeve done (and no one at my work knows), my coworkers just say comments like, "Wow, your lifestyle changes are really working" or they've begun asking me again about what I am doing. And I give them the same response as before.

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I was very honest with people and received a lot of support. And to the few who made a comment about " why can't you just diet & exercise" - you don't want to know what my response was

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I was very honest with people and received a lot of support. And to the few who made a comment about " why can't you just diet & exercise" - you don't want to know what my response was

Oh yes, we do! Tell us~!

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I have not kept my surgery a secret. I find no reason to at my age 54. I did this for me and no one else. If they have something negative to say about me or my decision to have the surgery that is their problem. I am open and share the good and bad thing for those around me that are considering having the surgery. I do have lots of positive support at work and at home which does help me stay on track.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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