April will mark my 2 year anniversary of my sleeve. I still haven't told anyone at work, only my immediate family knows and 2 extremely trusted friends. The comments as regarding speculation have almost gone as no one seems to even remember the "fat" me anymore. I'm now the size they see and know.

Anyone one else done this, in regards to not telling or talking about it.

I found it interesting a few weeks ago, I was playing poker and sat next to a gentleman that had done the gastric bypass. We had a very interesting conversation about the differences between his surgery and a sleeve. I could tell he was curious as to how I knew so much about it and I was able to play it off by saying a girl I used to date had done it. That was enough to stop any further pushing into how I might know so much. He was very open about it, almost to the point of bragging.

I'm not ashamed, but its not something I care to discuss with others. As the decision was an extremely personal one that came about for a variety of reasons.

I've told decided to tell my fiancé and very close family.

It is deeply personal. I have told a few people out of necessity, but I prefer not to talk about it. I have been abnormal my whole life and not sticking out as the guy who had Wls is my preference.

I started out not telling anyone but Wifey, oldest child, and parents. And my two close brothers. People have asked and I have told more people about surgery recently. Wifey is beginning to tell people also. Main reason is after losing so much weight...so quickly...we figure people really aren't that stupid! We may think they don't know...but they are thinking it...just can't confirm it.

Also..for me some started expressing concern that I was sick.

It is a personal decision. Tell when you're ready or don't.

I got my RNY in 2010 and told no one. I had surgeries for kidney stones 2-3 times a year anyway so it wasn't hard for me to keep this from anyone. I grew up fat in a skinny family. My mother constantly pointed out how fat I was, how nothing looked good on me, asked me how much I weighed and what size I wore whenever I saw her. I tended to avoid her for this reason. Since I wasn't feeling a whole lotta love from the fam regarding my fatness, I decided they didn't need to know. I finally told them when they were concerned about my rapid weight loss. My mother was so upset that I chose to do something so "dramatic and drastic". I lost the weight and my sister in law was gaining weight. She then became the unfortunate focus of mom's fat focused tough love campaigns.

On 15/02/2015 at 3:11 AM, clifdog said:

didn't know any of the tricks as it were to hiding the amount of food I ate.

1

I must learn these tricks you speak of!

On 14/03/2015 at 11:45 PM, psychicrhino said:

One day he came in to the area I was working and made a delivery. Anyway, as soon as he left most of the 8-10 people in that area started talking about him, speculating how much he had lost, how much they heard it cost, why doesn't he buy some new pants that fit right, why didn't he just "hit the gym" instead of surgery. Etc.... That is when I decided I would keep it close to the chest.

Something that I have noticed re the three or four people that I knew had previously been open about their surgery.

The closet experts and gossips are a pain in the arse.

On 31/03/2015 at 3:33 PM, SanDiegoGirl said:

My mother was so upset that I chose to do something so "dramatic and drastic". I lost the weight and my sister in law was gaining weight. She then became the unfortunate focus of mom's fat focused tough love campaigns.

Your mother sounds a lot like my late father.

Personally, I told only my wife and immediate family before I had WLS. Then, after I returned to work and the weight loss became obvious I tell everyone.

I kept it quiet before because I did not want to hear anyone's opinions or misinformed "stories" After it was done and results were obvious, I didn't care.

Not going to tell anyone except my wife and doctors I see. Not even my kids need to know. May change over time.

I personally choose to not tell anyone but my wife about my VGS surgery. Currently planned for 4/30/18. There are some ignorant people on both sides of my family. If I tell them....and they get ignorant....I might have to kick their axs. So...for their sake....I will keep it under wraps.

If all goes well with the surgery, I'm hoping I can go back to work (office job) by one-week post op.

Any advice on how to handle situations with family, friends, and co-workers when having dinner together? How do I conceal how little I'm eating and the fact that I don't have a glass of wine or a beer?

Has any long-time sleevers here ever drank a full beer?

Thanks,

Dave

I had my surgery about 2.5 years ago and I, too, also only told a couple of close friends and my family. I wasn't ashamed of surgery, but I preferred not to have to explain and/or answer questions. I suspect that people probably guess that I had surgery, since dropping 300 lbs is a bit of a change.

Honestly? I regret not telling people about it. I wish that I had done this years ago, as I think about all of the opportunities that I missed and all of the pain & aggravation that being 518 lbs caused. If there is one person who is in the position that I was and could feel a sense of hope from my experience, I would really regret not being able to offer it. I also don't want to contribute to any sort of false stigma to bariatric surgery. Like the other guys on this forum, I have worked pretty hard at this and surgery was not a magical cure-all.

3 hours ago, Rexcom said:

any long-time sleevers here ever drank a full beer?

Yes ... but only about four 330mL bottles (at home) since surgery five months ago.

And, when out socialising, I think the total is three 425mL schooners and three 285mL mid-size "middies".

A first beer of the day used to take me three to ten minutes to consume. These days, it's more likely 70 to 90 minutes about 20 minutes after I eat.

3 hours ago, Rexcom said:

Any advice on how to handle situations with family, friends, and co-workers when having dinner together? How do I conceal how little I'm eating and the fact that I don't have a glass of wine or a beer?

Yes ... have some pre-thought out remarks in your repertoire before you're put on the spot.

e.g. 1 = "I'm a tad woozy after some suspect chicken yesterday. I'm just taking it slowly today/tonight."

e.g. 2 = "After last night's nausea, I'm just taking food more slowly today. I don't want to go too hard and upset my digestion."

e.g. 3 = "Something's had me squeezing out gas both ends so I'm aiming to eat just a little today/tonight."

e.g. 4 = "The food looks delightful, Marlene, but I had a bit of irritable bowel yesterday. I think I was served some MSG."

etc, etc ...

funny I told most everyone about my surgery,,, but now almost 4 years post op,,, people I dont see ,,, comment how did you loose weight,,,, I tell them its a long story,,, although I always say surgery was a tool in the weight loss journey,,,, I tell em good eating habits,,, or being completely sober is my biggest accomplishment ,,,, its been a great,,,, journey,,,,

17 hours ago, Lucky Dog said:

funny I told most everyone about my surgery

In my case, just a select few.

Such surgery here (in Australia) is still widely regarded as some form of cheating ... AND I can well do without the 5h1t of pointless debates/arguments with opinionated ignoramuses who have not lived my last quarter of a century of yo-yo dieting and weight-loss fails.

My wife knows. My siblings know. My daughter and son-in-law know.

In fact, my son-in-law is my inspiration and catalyst for gastric sleeving. He was done in 2015 ... a man of 185cm (6feet, 2inches) who "fell" from 208kg to 99kg after his own gastric-sleeve. (460 pounds to 219 pounds).

• 17 hours ago, Lucky Dog said:

  I tell em good eating habits

  Yes ... I have had the opportunity to eat better SMALLER quantities and make purposeful progress.

17 hours ago, Lucky Dog said:

or being completely sober is my biggest accomplishment

I was in a union job that required a lot of "socialising" ... I averaged about 35 alcoholic drinks per week in summer and about 26-28 per week in winter for 18 years.

I now confine myself to one beer and three wines per week.

Even today, I went for my usual St Patrick's day lunch and ordered a half-pint of Guinness (as opposed to nearly thirty years of one or two pints with lunch).

I made it just past half-way down my half-pint before I just put the glass down and walked away ... I had no room after my grilled fish piece and salad to fit any more Guinness.

And a fine soft day to you all. Always happy to hear from you.

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