2.5 Months Out & FAIL

[Luvin_Life125 558]

You still have a life to live even after surgery. Finding a balance that works for you long term is essential. I just got home yesterday from a 9day Disney World trip on the dining plan. I followed my general guidelines and ate Protein first, then veggies, but I also allowed myself a small bite of dessert every night. You have to figure out how your new eating habits for into your life for everything that comes up. Find where you are comfortable and still in control and enjoy life a bit. None of us get out of it alive, so enjoy life while you can.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

hmm... not sure who this was targeted at but since it was shortly after my post, perhaps it was me. I do not claim to be perfect nor am I all that concerned with choices other people make. I am simply sharing my own experiences.

I do agree whole heartedly that you do need to find a way to live your life and deal with day to day stuff like vacations, parties, dates, birthdays, work meetings, business travel the list goes on and on. The basic shift in thoughts are that "food" is not the vacation. it makes it alot easier to enjoy social events when you see that food is still sustanence, which of course you enjoy but it is still just food.< /p>

I simply mean to say that this does not require perfection but you do yourself a favor if you stay with the basic rules (small portions, Protein first, no grazing) while still living life. I eat real food, and i enjoy higher calorie foods for sure but I still have decent restriction and feeling of satiety as long as i eat properly and take good care of my sleeve..

Some people get to goal in 6 months. if you are higher BMI it will take longer and you may never make it (look at stats if you doubt me). I know that some lurkers read things and I get PMs that say things like "I want to be successful like you" so I do not ever want to give the impression that I lost 150# in 14 months without being quite diligent and frankly strict. I do not care if anyone else choses my path, but it seems unfair to give an impression that is anything other than my truth.

Maintaining for 2 years now - and it is still effort.

My point is that NONE of us are going to be 100% perfect in our eating all the time. For goodness sake, we have to LIVE. So you go on vacation and overdo it a little? Get back on track the next day. Just because you break one plate unloading the dishwasher, doesn't mean you have to break the rest along with it.....

I know I'm a noob and in the "honeymoon" period of my surgery. But I'm also looking at this long term. If, ONCE IN A WHILE, I let my hair down a little and have a good time, I'm going to try to make sure I'm getting right back on track as soon as possible.I KNOW it gets harder as time goes on. But if I'm making good choices 95% of the time, I know I have a chance of keeping the weight off. I don't know. Maybe some of you can bookmark this thread and throw it in my face in a year or two when I'm struggling with maintenance, lol. I only know what I know NOW.

UGH. Sometimes the holier than thou attitudes on here are too much.

Edited February 2, 2015 by CowgirlJane

[ProjectMe 909]

Ahhhh @@Tauruslady5...

I knew someone would have to throw their smartas* comment in to be an a**hole. But hey, I like smarta**es and a**holes alike.

So to reply to you... I'm glad they fixed your brain at the same time and made you diet superwoman. I mean surely you weren't perfect before and that's the reason you had to have the surgery in the first place. I'm also sure you're the first one now to point out the fat a**es since you've lost all your weight AND doing it perfectly. Fabulous for you, Hun. Keep being your supportive self!'

Much love!!

I don't understand the name calling. What is wrong with someone posting about responsibility...that's how I understood @tauruslady post. How easy is it to say, "Oh well, live a little!" This type of rationalization is what got most of us in trouble in the first place. Does "Living" have to equal food & alcohol?

I Respect everyone's opinions but highly appreciate people who hold one another accountable for their actions.

This is a public board...you cannot filter which responses you'd rather have and censure the rest.

[dashofsunshine 876]

My goal with this surgery was obviously to lose weight. But one of the best things that has come of it so far is my development of a more sensible, healthy relationship with food. When I was in high school, I had a 22 BMI - I starved myself every day and worked out two hours a day to stay thin. I was terrified of food. When I was 323 lbs, I was addicted to food. Both were sicknesses. You have to develop a healthy viewpoint. Foods are not "bad" - they are just food. Food is for nourishing your body 90% of the time and for purely enjoying 10% of the time. If you look at eating something you enjoy on a vacation twice a year as a "failure" or "bad", you are going to be miserable for a long time. This is not a diet. It is a way of life. If you eat something higher in fat or carbs or sugar as a treat, that is ok - as long as it remains a TREAT (a treat is something you have once a week, or once a month, etc - not every day). Teach yourself to enjoy healthier foods, enjoy exercising, and enjoy cooking wholesome meals. Make it a lifestyle, and allow yourself a Bloody Mary every once in a while. Food is not the bad guy. Everything in moderation ????

[greatestnameever 49]

You've done great! Having a little treat on a fun vacation is fine. Also, crab has plenty of protein! If I couldn't have a drink once in a while post surgery I wouldn't have done it.

[Thenewnic 139]

@projectlady Indirectly calling someone brainless isn't name calling??? O......Kay. I don't expect everyone to agree with my choices and it's one reason I post here. To get several different prospectives. However, what I don't appreciate is someone who has a holier than thou disposition. Haven't we all been overweight and unhealthy?? Making wrong choices got us here. Helping each other overcome repeating those bad decisions or encouragement to overcome slight intervals of not eating healthy is what I think we're all looking for. Not wanting to feel all alone.

Why the negativity? For me it was in answer to her negative post and to call her out on her own negativity. No need for that to be directed at anyone. Don't we all have enough life time of hate toward our own actions? Don't make posters feel like they need to censor their honest feelings because someone is going to throw shade.

Why can't we all just get along? Lol ???? #ilovemesometrolls

[ProjectMe 909]

@projectlady Indirectly calling someone brainless isn't name calling??? O......Kay. I don't expect everyone to agree with my choices and it's one reason I post here. To get several different prospectives. However, what I don't appreciate is someone who has a holier than thou disposition. Haven't we all been overweight and unhealthy?? Making wrong choices got us here. Helping each other overcome repeating those bad decisions or encouragement to overcome slight intervals of not eating healthy is what I think we're all looking for. Not wanting to feel all alone.

Why the negativity? For me it was in answer to her negative post and to call her out on her own negativity. No need for that to be directed at anyone. Don't we all have enough life time of hate toward our own actions? Don't make posters feel like they need to censor their honest feelings because someone is going to throw shade.

Why can't we all just get along? Lol #ilovemesometrolls

I guess it is a matter of perspective, because I just didn't get all that from her post. I didn't see it as negative at all...just straight forward. It is true that the surgery fixes the tummy not the brain and that this surgery requires work to be successful. Just didn't see anything wrong with that message. However, your response, imo, was negative, unnecessary, and rude...again, imo. My honest feelings...no shade. Btw, sarcasm isn't cute. ProjectMe

Edited February 2, 2015 by ProjectMe

[Thenewnic 139]

@@ProjectMe Well thank you for your opinion. Please for future reference, block my rude insensitive cute a**. It's a brilliant feature this forum provides. ????

Edited February 2, 2015 by Thenewnic

[Tauruslady5 154]

Very sorry if I upset you and you took the TRUTH the wrong way. I saw what I wrote as nothing but the truth.

Everyone has the problem of blaming others and surgeons for their "not" losing weight, or eating too much. If we took the responsibility of what we put into our mouth/bodies, we would have NOT BEEN IN THIS POSITION IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Sorry that the truth hurt you, as for calling me names, that was very adult of you. I appreciated the person who replied back to you stating I did nothing wrong with what I wrote.

I was over 300 pounds back in November before I even started this journey. I was the one who put me that size, no one else. It was my responsibility to keep myself healthy. NO ONE ELSE's.

I do not feel I am any better than anyone else in here, I just speak the truth. No hurting in telling the truth.

As for your comment about my surgeon doing brain surgery, sorry honey....I did that on my own when I was given the SECOND CHANCE to become who I should have. I changed my attitude, I changed my eating habits, I changed what I wanted to change. I had my surgery to HELP me succeed in my vision, not to keep me from eating the bad foods.

Again, sorry you could not handle the truth in words.

I will not replying or reading anymore responses from you since you are not adult enough to accept criticism/recommendations.

Have a sparkling day

[Thenewnic 139]

@@dashofsunshine Thank you so much for your reply. I think the biggest struggle also is developing a healthy relationship with all foods. Wishing you much success!!

[Thenewnic 139]

Sorry to be so blunt: But the surgeon performed surgery on your STOMACH not your BRAIN.

It is YOUR choice to do what is right and make the good choices. Has nothing to do with the SURGERY. The SURGERY was a TOOL to help you LOOSE weight. If you stretch it back to the size it was before .... YOU did it.....no one else.

Your stomach has stretchy cells, which means you were given a second chance to make YOU want you want to be. It is able to go right back to where it was before. It is a BABY stomach, you push too much food in it , you become a bigger size. Then you will blame everyone but yourself.

AGAIN...........STOMACH HAD SURGERY.............NOT YOUR BRAIN..............

@@Tauruslady5 If this is your positive I would really hate to be on your bad side. ANYWHO...I don't mind criticism. It's the bi*chy way you worded it that I had a problem with. But no more. Have a nice life and hope you took advantage of the block feature. ????

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Not sure who's yelling at who. Those who get their knickers in a knot ... yawn. Skip what you don't like and carry on.

Anyway, back to the topic ...

I, too, was in NOLA last week. Good times.

I am addicted to My Fitness Pal. But even MFP doesn't have calories for a few dishes I sampled last week in amazing restaurants (!!!). So for the first time in 5-1/2 months I couldn't fill out MFP meals on a couple of days.

However, I did pretty much what @@CowgirlJane and others suggested -- I ate Protein first, ate very small amounts of luscious amounts of things I knew I could never find on MFP, and did not overdrink. And I even had a beignet and cafe' au lait at Cafe du Monde. BTW, a Cafe du Monde beignet actually is listed in MFP. I think it's only 175 calories.

Oh ... and this morning (Monday morning) when I did my weekly weigh-in I had lost 1.8 pounds last week. Huzzah!

I also did a LOT of walking all over town, including Audubon Park. That's the great thing about active vacations -- you can get a lot of exercise in. And just because it's there doesn't mean you have to eat it. Or overeat it.

No sure the above means I'm a self-righteous dieting Nazi or someone who sinned with beignets.

LOL!

[bewell 222]

cowgirljane, thank you for your direct and tell-it-like-it-is personal experience.

I'm 63 yrs old and FOR ME that delusional thinking that I can do this surgery AND NOT change my life style and attitude with food is just the crazy attitude that I've done all my life and got me where I was today, morbidly obese and unhealthy.

This is my last chance and I have to be serious, very serious about how I live my life from now on. My attitude with food, my asking for what I need from family/friends which includes avoiding food vacations or illiminating some foods around that are my downfall, and avoiding food fests. I have to do it, especially the first year or so until I reach my goal weight AND can maintain it. (How many just go right back up? I did many, many times.)

I won't be perfect, I know I'll sometimes challenge what or how much I eat but come on, I know what sets me off. I know what food or activity puts me on a downward spiral of cravings. I know what these situations and foods are, so why in the world would I play with the fire I KNOW will burn me, consume me and eventually kill me.

[Thenewnic 139]

@@VSGAnn2014

Not finding most the dishes on MFP was what had me worried in the first place. But as you did, I did keep Protein first. I asked a waiter what the calorie count was for a dish one evening and he laughed saying it's not a question he's ever been asked because most diners wouldn't want to know. Needless to say I passed on that dish..lol

I was more afraid of having the bread of the beignet than the calorie count. I've tried to cut them out completely, but missing out on Cafe de Monde was killing me. And we walked everywhere. Before I posted this I hadn't weighed, but my trainer made me and I dropped five pounds since we left.

I'm just thankful others shared their stories. Sometimes the post on here seem so unrealistic and I just wanted to feel like this wasn't the beginning of the end. Some eternal stall..lol Thanks for your reply!'

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Thenewnic ...

Sounds like you did wonderfully. However, your OP did sound like you felt you'd "blown it" completely. I think that's what set off the little firestorm earlier.

I completely agree with @@CowgirlJane as I always do and with @@bewell and others who say this journey is about NOT falling prey to every temptation that sashays down the aisle. Of course, we'll Celebrate sometimes. But most of us are susceptible to more temptations than the average person. Most of "us" need to practice consistency, consistency, consistency to be successful long-term.

I know my own weaknesses, and I know I do a lot better when I color within the lines. However, a Cafe du Monde beignet is not likely to derail me, since I don't have access to any beignets here at home.

But buying chips and Cookies and candy and bringing those home -- now, that's a temptation of a different color. And I'd be a fool to invite that kind of temptation.

Anyway ... my maunderings on a Monday afternoon.

Best to us all!

Edited February 2, 2015 by VSGAnn2014