female only Eating and First Dates.

[Cait12 52]

I'm just over 1.5 years post-op, and down 130 pounds--25 to go until my goal. Anyways. I've recently started dating again, and have been asked out on some first dates. So far, I've either gone out for coffee or a drink, which hasn't been any big issue sleeve-wise. But a new guy asked me out to get dinner and I'm nervous. I don't want to be so up front as to tell him about my weight loss or surgery yet (I want to wait and see what happens), but he's obviously going to notice that I can only eat a small amount (probably smaller than what could be covered up by a "I'm just trying to cut back" excuse or something like that). My question is, has any one on here gone on dates post-surgery where food or meals were involved and how did they approach the issue?

Thanks!

[Stevehud 1,790]

get the Soup, its very hard to tell how much of soup you ate and soup almost never comes with side dishes. and no one has to ask if you want fries mashed or baked with it!

[Folly 308]

Move stuff all over the plate, take tiny nibbles. People usually don't notice much unless you draw attention to it. We laughingly call it "fake eating". I have to spend a lot of time with people in restaurants, bars, coffee shops, etc. It isn't difficult. He'll probably be more interested in how engaged you are with him and how interesting you find him than how much you actually put in your mouth.

[skinnygirlwithin 693]

Love the Soup idea! god knows most of us are always cold!

[hadouni 301]

I tend to concentrate on protein-oriented appetizers. I can even do a broth based Soup first course with a Protein appetizer as my main course. If conversation keeps flowing as I eat, I can usually manage most of a broth based soup followed by some scallops or something like that for the main course.

appetizers can be a great option as a main course because they don't come with all the starchy extras we don't have space for anyway!

[BethinPA 305]

I can eat a fair amount of salad, and find that to be a good choice in those circumstances.

[bubles089 35]

I stick with muscles in broth or Soup, both easy to hide what you have eaten. I've also gone as far as when the guy leaves to use the bathroom calling the waitress over to take my plate.

[AvaFern 3,516]

I was worried about this too when I started dating again, but I decided what I eat was none of their business and I would handle it as it happened. So far the most any date has said to me was just a comment that I barely ate, which I just laughed at and changed the subject. My mother's constant comments about how I don't eat anything were far worse than any date, lol.

[Cait12 52]

Thanks everyone! Each time we've gone out it's been somewhere that's difficult to get small plates, so I decided to just make it as normal as possible, ate slowly, eating as much as I could, and stopping when my tummy told me to. We've gone out a few times to eat and each time he's made a little comment about how little I ate, but I brushed it off. I just wish it wasn't so noticeable.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

It's really hard if they pick the wrong restaurant. I can't eat a whole cheese burger.

I can eat a lot of salad. Someone else also said salad is a good choice if you're cleared by your doc to eat raw veggies.

I always say something like "I've had this stomach bug and I am over it now but I still don't feel like eating much." I have had guys get sort of mad if they buy me dinner and I can't eat it. I try to steer them towards a place where I know there is something on the menu that will work for me.

I don't usually wait too long before I tell because it's hard to get around if they keep trying to feed us. If they are worth having as a potential partner, they won't care. Every single guy I've told has said they are glad I got it bc they wouldn't date an overweight woman.

between band and sleeve, I have been dealing with this issue for about 9 years.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I have gone on alot of first dates... and I have not really had a problem. I finally figured out that nobody questions if a skinny (by skinny I mean normal size ) girl eats light. I could not even try to eat a cheeseburger and don't want one but I can eat a shrimp skewer, a crabcake, sushi, smaller salad, half sandwich. .really lots of things. Just started seeing someone and he seems to find it very cool that he gets one and half meals. We tend to go to places with modest serving sizes and you can be sure I order something he'll like. I feed him bites from the beginning and I am not sure he even realizes (or doesn't care) my portions. Even when he cooks for me...I sorta skip the rice or noodles, eat half a Protein portion and some veggies and he seems quote satisfied that I have sufficiently enjoyed his creation. I think half of it is not drawing attention to your food and choosing wisely what you order...and charming him with good conversation. .m ha ha

[bluesclues 49]

It's difficult on first dates...coffee dates are good but when it's a meal, and I usually get something Protein based and just say I eat smaller portions now. One guy I was dating for a couple of months always commented and when I told him, he was okay with it but was judgmental. Needless to say, not dating him anymore (there were other reasons as well). Even when out with friends they have noticed, and it's fine. I just take half of it home. Everyone has noticed my appetite is less = weight loss lol win win

Good luck! I'm going out next week with a guy and am going to have to deal with the same thing :S

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Just tell them you are easy to entertain and cheap to feed.