Accountability Group

[s_suther 446]

In a BATTLE this afternoon. I can't tell if I'm head or belly hungry. Either way, I'm not gonna eat til dinner. I'm drinking Water and keeping busy. Ugh!

[ParaGirl 71]

I am learning a whole lot on this thread. It seams I am not the only person who gets to the point of a binge. I am really trying to do the right thing, follow the band rules, and learn to listen to my body for hunger cues. It's hard. Today, after having my carbs yesterday, I really have been fighting the urge to eat the heck out of some carbs. I've been successful, only because I keep saying to myself, HEY DUMMY, YOU AREN'T EVEN HUNGRY!!! And that's true. Since this last fill, I am learning that I can put more in there than I should, but I don't need to. I can eat a small amount and not get hungry for several hours.

My problem is not being hungry, it's the desire to eat lots of junk and any and all times. I had to talk myself down from stopping at the store on the way home for cheetos and/or a snickers. I won it this time, but I want to not want it. Maybe I'm being a whiney baby here, but I just want that urge to go away!

Today, so far, I've eaten:

B - Bulletproof coffee

snack - 1 5/8 oz. peanuts

L - No chop chili - small portion with sprinkle of cheese and sour cream

D - 2 eggs and 3 bacon

Water is good, but not too much

I drank one coke zero today

hot tea

[s_suther 446]

Made it through til dinner. Ate 6 oz of meatloaf since I was belly hungry and 4 oz didn't do it. I just finished a 45 minute butt-kicking (did 40 cardio minutes this morning too), and I've had all my Water. Oh, the victory over my obstacle this afternoon is sweet!!

Today's totals: 1034 c, 94 p, 50 nc

I hope you guys are rocking it today!

@@bacon - how'd it go??

Edited March 5, 2015 by s_suther

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Very few stairs for me today, because my knees were hurting. I got my cortisone shots in the late afternoon and now they're sore from that. Back to doing stairs tomorrow.

My food, on the other hand, was really good. I really, really wanted to overeat today. But I realize that it was definitely emotional hunger.

Realizing it and refusing to do it are two different things. I had a nice big kale salad for dinner and one piece of breaded pork tenderloin for Protein.

I played with the idea of going to the movies just to snack, but that is so self destructive. So for today, I am going to a CODA meeting.

My relationship with my mom remains very complex and dysfunctional. When I came home from work today, she acted as if her tirade of yesterday didn't happen. It's like living in crazy land.

At the doctor's office today, my blood pressure was sky high. The first reading was 188/109. The second reading was 169/99. I'm sure it's because of not only the high sodium foods I've been eating, but also the stress I've been under lately. Between the divorce proceedings and dealing with my mom, I feel like a rubber band about to snap. I was so proud to get off of my second blood pressure medicine many months ago. I sure don't want to go back on it. I'm still on one medicine for blood pressure.

Tonight I'm also feeling a bit humble. I haven't been to the rheumatologist for my knees since September. And from my last visit until now, my weight has only gone down 5 pounds. 5 pounds over five months. That's truly shocking to me. I have 50 pounds left to goal. I really wanted to be closer to my goal by my one year surgiversary, which is in 10 days.

I am very aware of the tremendous progress I've made this year. But most of it was in the first seven months. It's time for me to get serious about exercise and changing the types of food that I eat. I haven't logged into MyFitnessPal in many days because I stopped logging my food. But when I went into it today, looking for something interesting to eat for dinner, I got an eye opener.

I've been rationalizing that since I don't binge, I'm doing just fine. But the types of foods that I am eating are still high-fat, high-calorie foods. Maybe that's okay for people who don't need to lose 50 pounds, but I do.

This last 50 pounds is not going to come off by itself. If I don't exercise, and I don't change the types of food I am eating, I'm going to either stay the way I am, or worse, gain it back.

I've also been rationalizing that I cannot afford to join a gym because of this expensive divorce. Well, I had better suck it up and join one. Clearly, walking outside in winter is something that simply didn't happen. If I join the YMCA, or another gym, and bring my workout clothes to the office with me, I can hit the gym on my way home from work. Many years ago, when I was single, I did exactly that. And I successfully maintained a twice a week jogging schedule at the gym that helped me lose 130 pounds.

I don't think my knees are going to let me jog, but I can certainly walk a track.

Well that was a long rant. Sometimes I just need to yell at myself a little bit. In a healthy way of course.

Off to my meeting. No more eating for me today. Carry on, Warriors!

Edited March 5, 2015 by JustWatchMe

[lisacaron 5,075]

Hey you all ROCK!!!

Awesome posts. Some were heart wrenching but reading through and seeing how you all rallied and kept going supporting each other just amazing!

Sorry I haven't had a second to use the ladies room let alone get a post in. Work is crazy and my projects are all high profile and burning up right now. Just got home 8:00 pm.

I am up most days at 5am so it's a very long day for me. I left work early yesterday (paid for it today). I went to the gastric doctor and had .5 mL taken out of the band because I am not feeling well and have that same issue with drainage.

After seeing the gastric doctor I zoomed on over to the urgent care because my regular PCP could not see me because everyone is sick including me with a sinus infection and an ear infection!

Now on the lovely antibiotic that is just about killing my stomach. So my eating has been much much better since I have no appetite at all. I am trying to stick to shakes during the day and forced to eat a meal at night so that I can take this antibiotic. Since the band is still in recovery mode I am sticking to soft and mushy foods. But making good choices last night was pulled pork smashed to smithereens and I have to say it was delicious. Tonight since it's late I am going to make somecanned wedding Soup have a cuppa tea and get some sleep.

I'm sorry to say I haven't had any time or ambition to get to the gym or do any exercise at the moment. I do make sure to climb the stairs eight flights every day because the elevator at work is broken if that counts. Also If we get 8 to 10 inches of snow tomorrow I'll be getting plenty of exercise shoveling out my driveway and my car so I can get to work. Eating plan is to stay on plan during the day taking my medication trying to feel better and getting all my work done before the weekend. Now someone you could just write that formula that I need for this workbook I'd be all set????

[bacon 514]

Today was a real good day. As I posted this morning, I got 30 minutes on the e-kill. Eating was decent. Water was low. I joined the ymca today. A friend from church got us a referral discount and the company I work for pays for $350 a year, so it will be less than $100 a year.

We took the youngins down home and dropped them off. Had lunch with my wife and grabbed a couple of movies. It has been real nice just the two of us. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but it has been a year since it was just her and I alone overnight. We watched a movie called Moms' night out. Very well done. I have not laughed that much in a while.

Hope yall are killin it!

[s_suther 446]

Helloooooo!!??!! I'm feeling kinda lonely on the board this morning. Where are you????

My plan for today:

B - 8 oz Protein shake w/ Fiber

L- yogurt w/ granola & Fiber

S - 8 oz Protein Shake w/ fiber

D - salad w/ chicken, chick peas, egg, & homemade dressing

72 oz Water

1100 c, 89 p, 69 nc

I just finished a 35 minute video and will do a 3 mile walk tonight with the family.

Hope everyone is having a dandy day!

[enjoythetime 1,457]

Goood morning everyone! Yesterday was an emotional day for me, many "breaks" were needed to regain composure BUT I made it with a lot of love and support from my husband, kiddos, family and friends. You are all such an amazing group of people!!!

Yesterday was a good day in regards to staying with my plan, I had some variations to what I posted basically eating 6 small meals throughout the day, the last one being at 9pm because that's when we got home from Disney on Ice and I was STARVING. Other than that I stayed under my target calorie count of 1338 and consumed 1290. Water was on point, no exercise, NO TREATS!

This not weighing thing is a double edged sword. I felt so free this morning knowing that I wasn't going to step on that thing and let it determine my day, but I'm also going crazy wondering what's happening and heck it's only day 2 not much could've possible happened:-) Taking it in stride though!

Today's plan will go SOMETHING like this. It's going to be another busy day so it may vary but I will stay on plan. Today is Grandparents Day at my daughters pre-school so they're having a little program, I can't tell you how much I love these!

Any way back to my plan: Again variations so wanting to stay at 1200 or under for the day.

B: Yogurt & Trail Mix 250 cal 17P

L: Not sure to be honest will aim to keep it around 300 cal

S: If needed Protein Bar 160 cal 20p

D: Skinny chicken Casserole: 250 cal approx. 29 p

S: Skinny Cow Ice Cream- 160 cal

80 oz of Water. I will try to get some form of movement in.

Cal 1120 Approx. 81 P

Talk about holding someone accountable, my son said hey mommy were not doing a very good job at doing that exercise video every night like you said you wanted to....wawawa.

Let's DO THIS!:-)

Edited March 5, 2015 by enjoythetime

[s_suther 446]

@@enjoythetime - SOOOOO proud of you! It was a tough day, but you took care of yourself. You took breaks as needed, you fed your body well, and you enjoyed family time with no guilt of a treat. Holy moly, you're rocking this thing, girly! Keep up the great work, you're an inspiration to me!!

BTW, the comment from your son cracks me up. Sounds just like something my daughter would say. She's my conscience most of the time with her comments!

Edited March 5, 2015 by s_suther

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I'm here. I ended yesterday on plan. Today I am in a lot of knee pain which should subside by tomorrow or Saturday. That shot in the right knee was a killer. Limping a lot so no stairs for me today.

I started work early and got bacon and sausage from the Golden Arches. It was good and will hold me. I'm at a different office location today so my lunch break is uncertain. I brought my Buddig beef and a cheese stick so I can eat when I need to. I forgot my Water bottle though.

I went to my CoDA meeting last night and I can't overemphasize how beneficial it is to talk out emotional issues instead of eating them.

Anybody who is curious can check out coda.org.

Tonight I'm going to get myself a manicure. Because I deserve it, dammit.

I'll post later in the day. Have a good one and take care of your mind, body and soul today.

[ParaGirl 71]

I ended up on plan yesterday, so that's good. I am not exercising like I should, but that will come with time. In the past, I have gotten too obsessive over that, and had to back off.

I have a weird tech question, how do you all do the @ (person's name) thing on here? I guess it tags that person, so they read it. I don't know how to do it. Thanks.

No dinner plan, but today, so far here is my plan:

B - Bulletproof coffee

Snack- 1 5/8 oz peanuts

L - No chop chili with cheese and sour cream

dinner - I am thinking maybe a Zaxby's grilled salad with no onions or bread and only one packet of dressing.

[ParaGirl 71]

Hubby may want to go to the movies, if so, I will take a Quest bar and eat it.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Just type the @ symbol and the person's screen name exactly as it appears with no space after the @.

[bacon 514]

Me and my bride are still kidless for the day. We got 6 inches if fresh snow. So I cleared 4 driveways this morn. We ate at bobs and I did ok. We will prob get a chipotle meal after bit. I will do chicken on fajita bowl. Prob a shake for dinner. And back on the road tomorrow.

[s_suther 446]

@@bacon - gotta admit I'm a little jealous of your time as a couple. Enjoy!!

@@JustWatchMe - hope those knees let up soon. I know your pain. Hang in there and take care of you.

@@ParaGirl - kudos for having a plan for the movies. I ordered free samples of Quest bars and am looking forward to trying them.