Ok, I am going to be really honest here, and l am petrified to give up food! food has been my friend, my enemy, my boyfriend, my lover my everything... in times when i didn't have all of the other things, or i wasn't getting my needs met! I am on my journey and I am ready to have a new life I know i don't want to be this weight for my health, but in the years I have dieted and lost a ton of weight, I have come to the conclusion that i am afraid of failing, and i am also afraid of SUCCEEDING!

I have had my appt with my surgeon, and nutritionist, I know that i want to do this. I am sure that this is the right decision, but is there anyone out there that is dealing with the FEAR?!?!?!?

Ok, I am going to be really honest here, and l am petrified to give up food! food has been my friend, my enemy, my boyfriend, my lover my everything... in times when i didn't have all of the other things, or i wasn't getting my needs met! I am on my journey and I am ready to have a new life I know i don't want to be this weight for my health, but in the years I have dieted and lost a ton of weight, I have come to the conclusion that i am afraid of failing, and i am also afraid of SUCCEEDING!

I have had my appt with my surgeon, and nutritionist, I know that i want to do this. I am sure that this is the right decision, but is there anyone out there that is dealing with the FEAR?!?!?!?

It's my OPINION (and you know what they say about those!) that you aren't ready for surgery. I know that sounds harsh and mean and sh!$$y and rude and hateful, but it's my opinion.

I am glad you are in counseling and I do think that with help you will eventually be able to get to where you need to be MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY to have this procedure. I am also happy for you that you are being so honest with yourself about your fears. That's HUGE.

I am only 19 months out and by no means an expert on anyone but myself but within all the people I know who have had this surgery, the most successful ones are those who are no longer afraid. They are TIRED of being fat. They are TIRED of the hold food has over them. They are READY to give it up and break the cycle of unhealthy eating. They still stumble and they still fall from time to time, but the strength that they need to get back up and get back on the wagon comes from their need to be healthy.

The ones that I see fail or "lose slowly" or regain are the ones who have not made the decision to give up bad eating habits, instead letting the surgery decide for them. Eventually your ability to eat whatever you want will come back. You may not be able to eat as much in one sitting, but if you graze all day, you will be able to finish off a large deep dish pizza, a gallon of ice cream, a package of Cookies.

I love food. I still think about food far too much. But I also hate it for all the years I allowed it to control my life. I will not allow that to happen again because it really is much more fun to be thin and healthy 24/7 than it is to stuff my face for 15-20 minutes 6 or 7 times a day.

It's like smoking. A smoker will only really quit when they are ready. No amount of Patches of vapor or ecigs or resolutions will get them to quit until they make that decision with their entire being.

It's OK to be scared and it's OK to mourn food, but do not do this until you know that you will rejoice in your health more than you will miss that plate of nachos.

Edited January 8, 201511 yr by LipstickLady

Lipstick lady, thank you for giving your opinion, and i agree with most of what you say. Before i started this journey i was sick of being fat, i was tired and I was READY to lose it... I think that as surgery approaches (in 3 months) my fears set it.. and unlike any other "diet" i will no longer have the ability to go back to my old habits - when i say i will no longer have the ability, i mean that I am preparing myself for NEVER eating the way I have eaten again. EVER. I am grateful that i have another 3 months cause that is just more time to mentally prepare myself for this life change. This is definitely not a decision i am making on a whim. I appreciate your opinion and It looks like you are doing AMAZING!!! congratulations to you!!! and thanks again !!

Edited January 8, 201511 yr by smile121

Be excited you can't go back! Embrace it. Love the idea that you will be FREE from the hold food has over you. Food is not your friend, your lover or your answer to life. Once you get rid of the weight, your life will be about so much more. I promise you. Our stats are similar. I can't tell you how fabulous it feels to be NOT FAT.

Food can suck it. And that's coming from the worst of binge eaters.

Hahaha! I like your thinking! food CAN SUCK IT!

Not gonna lie, I was freaking out on the first few days of the pre-op diet. I have a counselor and for the last 3 months, I was 100% ready. I've been talking to her and going over why I eat so much, triggers, addiction, etc etc etc. That first day of not having that choice was a wake up call. It was REAL...not just talk. What am I doing?

My boyfriend sat me down and said that I was sounding like an addict. And I was. I had to step back and think 'WHY am I freaking out?" It was because I was afraid of not being able to eat 4 pieces of pizza slathered in ranch. Because I won't be able to eat a pound of takeout. I was freaking out because I couldn't scarf down a 12 inch Subway and a bag of chips and 3 Cookies.

Stepping back....WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT? That's not normal. And it is not healthy.

Those 15-20 minutes of frenzied eating are NOT worth the rest of the day feeling horrible about myself. Knowing people judge me when I grocery shop- even if its for veggies. I catch the looks. Wheezing walking up 10 stairs. TEN stairs. Seeing what I look like when sitting down. The faces of people when I get on an airplane. Hearing I am pre-diabetic. Knowing I could have a heart attack if I keep doing this to myself. I want to have kids one day, but sex is like a work out. It's not even fun anymore.

I'm ready. That little demon telling me I'm scared because I can't volume eat has been murdered. Viciously.

Hahaha, funny LipstickLady! I'll remember that when I start feeling sad cuz I can't scarf down a cheeseburger n fries....SUCK IT CHEESEBURGER - DONT WANT OR NEED YOU!!!! Lol

I am right there with ya Shizwiz. When is your surgery date? Do you have one yet?

I am 8 months post-of and I can honestly tell you that i too was depressed about "giving up food", however, I can now also very HONESTLY tell you that you do NOT. I eat EVERYTHING -- not huge amounts but everything. The ONLY thing I don't is soda because of the sugar and the gas is too filling, but I treat myself every weekend to eat whatever I want, in small quantities but during the week I am very good. Once you see that scale go down down down down, food won't be a priority in your life anymore because you will be THAT much happier and feel AMAZING! But... once a few months go and you lose a good amount of weight, you do treat yourself and since a small amount is all you can fit, you're happy because you don't feel that "empty" feeling wanting to eat more more more....

Don't worry, you'll feel back to "normal" soon and WILL enjoy food like you did before WLS! Good luck!!

Oh no, not anxiety related to success... just anxiety. It really got bad leading up to the plastic surgery and I thought it was fear. The problem was even after I fully recovered from plastics I sometimes suffered from a wound up anxious feeling. I really think it was just that whole "not used to feeling real feelings all the time"

Now, down the road, it is much less of a problem and i feel more inner peace and emotional stability. However, I am still a freaking energizer bunny and have to make sure I structure my life with healthy outlets (physical, intellectual, social etc) or I start to get restless.

Did you have anxiety about being successful? I don't mean to pry.

Also, Congratulations on the weight loss!!! that is AMAZING!

@@smile121 I am on 1/16 in Mexico. Only 8 more days! I feel so calm, too. Its niiiice.

However, I have been cold...which is weird! I am always running hot...and being cold is foreign. What do I do? Is it OK to walk around in a blanket? Is it socially acceptable to close my office door all day to keep in the heat? WHO SELLS FLEECE LINED JEANS?! Am I allowed to wear gloves inside?

@@shizwiz, and guess what, you can have that subway sandwich, but instead of a 12 inch, you'll be satisfied by one or two inches or bites, and those chips you'll be happy with three single chips, and those three Cookies, you'll be satisfied after a bite or two of one. I had subway last weekend, and I ate probably two inches of a six inch steak sub and that's was good I was content for another four or five hours. Your obsession with food will be gone, but your enjoyment will still be there.

@@Cody's mom I am so excited for that! Once I realized....this is the not the last time EVER I can eat '_____' I felt better.

I am also excited to save a TON of money by not eating so much food. I expect to be LOADED by this time next year

@@Cody's mom I am so excited for that! Once I realized....this is the not the last time EVER I can eat '_____' I felt better.

I am also excited to save a TON of money by not eating so much food. I expect to be LOADED by this time next year

Tell that to all those clothing stores that will beckon you in every time you go to the mall. Just sayin!

I think developing food allergies and sensitivities changed my thinking about food. I like good food and still enjoy going to restaurants but I know food can kill even when it taste good.

It is really like ending an unhealthy relationship. It's hard for a while. You mourn the loss. But like a broken heart time heals and the sun comes out. You learn how to love your life again with the new changes. My song for this whole process is "No More Rain" by Angie Stone.

Spring has come and winter's gone, my love
But don't look around for me, child
I'll be gone (I'll be gone, gone, gone, gone)
Not afraid because the seasons have changed
I'm gonna count my blessing then just follow the sun

I love this post and all the responses. This is really comforting to me. Everyone on this is site is amazing!!