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Getting very scared



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Ok. So I am 34, single, no kids. I am 5'9" and weight 262 pounds. I just barely qualify for surgery and am starting to wonder if the risk is too high for someone in my position. I also would like to have a baby at some point, am I making a mistake by doing this now?

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I'll start by saying that only you can decide if weight loss surgery is right for you and if now is the right time. However, In my own experience, and from reading what people on here have to say, the biggest regret is not doing it sooner. Here are some things to think about. Do you think that making a healthy lifestyle change will do you more good in the future than it will right now? Do you think that going through this process while caring for a child will be easier? You barely qualify for surgery now, would you rather wait until you easily qualify? Why put yourself through that?

I understand the fear that comes with this whole thing. I have been there. I talked myself into and out of going through with it several times. I am almost 2 months post-op at this point. Nothing has drastically changed in my life except for how I look at food. It no longer controls me. None of my fears have happened. I am better off now than I have been for most of my life. I wish I had made these changes years ago!

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Ok. So I am 34, single, no kids. I am 5'9" and weight 262 pounds. I just barely qualify for surgery and am starting to wonder if the risk is too high for someone in my position. I also would like to have a baby at some point, am I making a mistake by doing this now?

I'm 5'8" and weighed 255 when I started the process in July. I had surgery in October and am down 50 lbs overall. My only regret is not doing it sooner!

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I am also 34, I have 2 Childen and from that standpoint I am glad I waited until after having kids to have the surgery. I can't imagine getting in all the right nutrients for myself and a baby after this surgery although, there are many on this site who have, you might want to ask in that forum what challenges they faced being pregnant after having the sleeve surgery.

In my opinion, this was the best decision I have ever made for myself. I was 5'9 and 320 lbs. If you think you can do it via working out and eating better, go that route but if you are hungry all the time as I was, no amount of working out would help. This surgery has been amazing and it will be for you as well. I appreciated how quickly my skin is going back into being tight again which is a benefit of having the surgery at a younger age.

Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision. You know what is best for you. I wish you the best of luck!

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jenjen262, I think many of us questioned whether this surgery was worth the risks and we each made the decision on what we believed was best for us, which means some determined surgery was best for them and and some did not. It took me years and countless more diets and exercise plans, that I ultimately failed, but brought me to the realization that dieting doesn't work for me and eating healthy and exercise did not lower my weight significantly (I'm 56) and I needed a tool that would give me a break from diet induced hunger and limits my food intake capacity so I could practice healthy eating and still lose weight.

If you think you are having normal cold feet, know that it's likely that most of us felt hat way before surgery, I know I did, but we wanted to take the risk anyway and are happier for it. But if in your heart of hearts, you are not ready for this surgery and it's risks, do not do it.

Best of luck to you on whatever you decide.

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I think this is good discussion to have with your primary and/or bariatric surgeon. It depends on your relationship with food and your previous attempts at losing weight. I was told that is is recommended that you not try to get pregnant until a year post op. At 3½ months out I am only now returning to a regular diet and still eating under 1,000 calories a day. I expect that by a year out I'll be back to 1,200 but I'm sure that plays a part in that recommendation.

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I had an eye-opening moment when it was pointed out to me that the risk of dying or complications was under one percent. However, the risk of dying from a diverticular perforation - if it occurs high in the colon is 6 percent and if it occurs low (where my infections always are) is a whopping THIRTY percent.

That made my mind up for me.

Your mileage may vary. I only wish that I had done the VSG before I got so sick.

Jana

PS, I am attaching a photo of diverticular disease for reference.princ_rm_photo_of_close_up_of_colon.jpg

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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