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My father-in-law is oblivious.



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Just received a package from my father-in-law for Christmas. The outside of the box said Termini Bros. on it but my family is notorious for reusing boxes and I didn't know what Termini Bros. was anyway so I went ahead and opened it.

Turns out, Termini Bros. is a pastry company out of Philadelphia, PA where my FIL lives and he sent us a big ol' tin of something sweet and, I'm sure, delicious.

I just had my sleeve surgery a week ago today.

Now, granted, I haven't spoken directly to my FIL about the surgery, but I did make an announcement about in on Facebook (I'm being wide open with this, I don't care who knows) and we are friends on Facebook and I'm almost positive my husband spoke to him about it as well.

Beyond that, my husband is also large and has Type 2 Diabetes. He also has Atrial Fibrillation and during a previous episode where he was in the hospital because he was in AFib for over 24 hours and wasn't able to convert back to normal rhythm on his own, his dad called and I answered the phone and the first words out of the man's mouth were, "He needs to lose weight," not, "How is he?"

Honestly, I'm not mad at the guy, I think it's more funny than anything. He's just in his own little world sometimes.

My husband said he'll give the tin to the women in our apartment complex leasing office.

Edited by wicked_ash

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Sure the office manager would appreciate it...it sounds like neither one of you should have it around the house!

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Great pass on the bad stuff. Those kind of tins find their way into my office area. Hate them. The trash can is a better place

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Great pass on the bad stuff. Those kind of tins find their way into my office area. Hate them. The trash can is a better place

I apologize. I just hate to waste a well meaning gift that somebody else may genuinely enjoy. I guess our assumption was that since the office has residents, possible future residents, maintenance, etc. in and out every day and already sets out treats such as candy and donuts that this might be welcome there.

I'll think twice about it in the future.

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food = Love in our culture. I'm sure his rational mind knows better, but his gift giving mind obviously doesn't totally grasp it. His issue, not yours, and that's great that you aren't even irritated.

Good for you for passing it on. Someone else will either enjoy it, or do the same. That sort of stuff is good in places where many people are. Then people can either have one, or skip them, but no one has to eat them all!

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food = Love in our culture. I'm sure his rational mind knows better, but his gift giving mind obviously doesn't totally grasp it. His issue, not yours, and that's great that you aren't even irritated.

Good for you for passing it on. Someone else will either enjoy it, or do the same. That sort of stuff is good in places where many people are. Then people can either have one, or skip them, but no one has to eat them all!

I really do think it's more funny than anything because of the just perfect timing as I'm still on full liquids. Couldn't even try one cookie if I wanted to.

I don't think my family has ever put a gift in it's original box (especially for shipping purposes). It's kind of an ongoing joke now. So I didn't think twice to open it and when I saw that it was a big tin of pastries I just kind of dropped my head and started laughing.

But then I stopped because it still hurts to laugh.

And my FIL is not a bad guy at all, by the way, I just don't think he thinks about stuff sometimes. My husband and I moved from North Carolina to California in August of this year and twice now he's called us at 5 am our time because he forgot about the time difference.

Edited by wicked_ash

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Just received a package from my father-in-law for Christmas. The outside of the box said Termini Bros. on it but my family is notorious for reusing boxes and I didn't know what Termini Bros. was anyway so I went ahead and opened it.

Turns out, Termini Bros. is a pastry company out of Philadelphia, PA where my FIL lives and he sent us a big ol' tin of something sweet and, I'm sure, delicious.

I just had my sleeve surgery a week ago today.

Now, granted, I haven't spoken directly to my FIL about the surgery, but I did make an announcement about in on Facebook (I'm being wide open with this, I don't care who knows) and we are friends on Facebook and I'm almost positive my husband spoke to him about it as well.

Beyond that, my husband is also large and has Type 2 Diabetes. He also has Atrial Fibrillation and during a previous episode where he was in the hospital because he was in AFib for over 24 hours and wasn't able to convert back to normal rhythm on his own, his dad called and I answered the phone and the first words out of the man's mouth were, "He needs to lose weight," not, "How is he?"

Honestly, I'm not mad at the guy, I think it's more funny than anything. He's just in his own little world sometimes.

My husband said he'll give the tin to the women in our apartment complex leasing office.

OMG Terminis! YUMMMMMMMMM! Pat yourself on the back for giving it away because one must be strong to not touch any of their delicious sweets! The Force is strong with you and your husband. ;) I know the surgery helps but still....your hubby is doing right by himself and by you because one bite and the next thing you know you wake up the next day & don't remember a thing. LOL

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OMG Terminis! YUMMMMMMMMM! Pat yourself on the back for giving it away because one must be strong to not touch any of their delicious sweets! The Force is strong with you and your husband. ;) I know the surgery helps but still....your hubby is doing right by himself and by you because one bite and the next thing you know you wake up the next day & don't remember a thing. LOL

LOL! We've never even heard of them before. My husband started eating what will eventually be my diet once I'm on regular foods back when I went on my pre-op liquid diet but maaaybe we'll have to grab two pieces...one for him to try and one to save for me until I can have solids again. I looked at their website and their stuff does look out of control. I've always been more prone to indulge in salty and savory foods than sweet, but I'm not immune...especially to almond Cookies.

Let me tell you, this whole lifestyle change has opened me up to a level of self-control I didn't know I had. On my first two days of my pre-op diet I was allowed a solid lunch and dinner (day one) and then a solid dinner (day two) before I went to nothing but liquids on day three. My parents were visiting us from North Carolina for the first time since we moved across country and on my Day Two we took them to See's candies since they'd never had it.

I really had no intention of getting anything, turned down the free sample at the door and everything. Then I saw that they had a cranberry orange truffle that was seasonal only. I love the cranberry orange flavor combination and since it was seasonal and would probably be gone by the time I could have solids again I decided to allow myself one since I was still allowed dinner that night and we were between lunch and dinner at the time.

I ate half of it. Half a truffle. Nobody wanted the rest of it so I threw it away. I impressed my damn self right there.

:)

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LOL! We've never even heard of them before. My husband started eating what will eventually be my diet once I'm on regular foods back when I went on my pre-op liquid diet but maaaybe we'll have to grab two pieces...one for him to try and one to save for me until I can have solids again. I looked at their website and their stuff does look out of control. I've always been more prone to indulge in salty and savory foods than sweet, but I'm not immune...especially to almond Cookies.

Let me tell you, this whole lifestyle change has opened me up to a level of self-control I didn't know I had. On my first two days of my pre-op diet I was allowed a solid lunch and dinner (day one) and then a solid dinner (day two) before I went to nothing but liquids on day three. My parents were visiting us from North Carolina for the first time since we moved across country and on my Day Two we took them to See's candies since they'd never had it.

I really had no intention of getting anything, turned down the free sample at the door and everything. Then I saw that they had a cranberry orange truffle that was seasonal only. I love the cranberry orange flavor combination and since it was seasonal and would probably be gone by the time I could have solids again I decided to allow myself one since I was still allowed dinner that night and we were between lunch and dinner at the time.

I ate half of it. Half a truffle. Nobody wanted the rest of it so I threw it away. I impressed my damn self right there.

:)

Is that NOT THE best feeling in the world??? Being able to take a bite and leave the rest? I swear its a natural high, that self-control!

I grew up 15 mins outside of Center City Philly and I always stayed away from South St., The Italian Market and Redding Terminal because of places like Termini Bros and all the Dutch PA goodness that is in full force this time of year but now I feel strong enough to go because I know that I can look at all the holiday fair and as delicious as it looks and smell, I can walk right on by!

Congrats to you! :) and happy holidays to you both. Best of luck!

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My aunt sent me gourmet Cookies after my surgery, because she wanted to so something nice. She was mortified when she realized what she had done. We get cookies every Christmas and they all go to work with my husband. A lot of people just don't realize what they are actually doing. It's the thought that counts?!

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@@wicked_ash You shouldn't throw it in the trash. Giving it to the office is a great idea. Lots of people get to partake, instead of just the two of you. But for next year your husband may give him a gentle hint of what types of gifts maybe more appropriate.

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I've gotten lots of Christmas goodies from clients and vendors. My clients all know about my surgery, but since I'm so "normal" to them, they think the usual holiday sweets are great to give. I mostly just turned around and sent all the sweets with a friend for her to take into the large clinic she works for.....Lots of employees willing to scarf down the yummy stuff. One client gave me a huge box of oranges, grapefruit and tangerines. I shared some, but ended up peeling the oranges and freezing the individual segments. They will be a nice refreshing treat all through the winter.

And here's my favorite regift....a vendor sent a 2 pound tub of chocolate covered peanuts. After eating a handful ???? I put a 1/2 cup in little cellophane gift bags, sealed them with my food saver and gave them away to clients.

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It probably just slipped his mind, just say thank you and give it away.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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