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What did you say?!



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See, this is one of the reasons I am a little nostalgic about old fashioned standards of decorum. I may be showing my age, but personal comments (even those meant to be complimentary), directed at strangers or acquaintances, are rude.

I fudge on this a little, and I do compliment coworkers by saying their new hairstyle, outfit, etc., looks great. But I avoid saying anything that means "you look so much better without that horrid extra weight" and I wish others would do the same.

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I will just smile sweetly and say "I am bored talking about my body, let's talk about yours now!" I figure that will stop things pretty fast. :-)

You win best answer ever. For real, yo!

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Speechless.................. I'll hold them down if you beat them up ! Just kidding, sorta................ I swear to God, what is wrong with people that they just bluntly speak their minds ? I know this is a weird question, but about how old were they ? Im mid 50's and I grew up with the rules about privacy, appropriate asking, USING a filter, tact and diplomacy, etc.... My youngest is 20, I DID teach her the rules, but you wouldn't BELIEVE some of the thing she and her friends say and share ! (Personal vent-fricken Facebook !!!!) Sorry, had to vent.

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Speechless.................. I'll hold them down if you beat them up ! Just kidding, sorta................ I swear to God, what is wrong with people that they just bluntly speak their minds ? I know this is a weird question, but about how old were they ? Im mid 50's and I grew up with the rules about privacy, appropriate asking, USING a filter, tact and diplomacy, etc.... My youngest is 20, I DID teach her the rules, but you wouldn't BELIEVE some of the thing she and her friends say and share ! (Personal vent-fricken Facebook !!!!) Sorry, had to vent.

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PS. Congratulations on your 60 lb weight loss !!!!!! WOW ! Great job ! I guess I would try and focus on your amazing accomplishments instead of your co workers boneheaded comments. Just sayin '.

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If anyone goes beyond a nice simple, "wow, you look great". and starts in asking things like "how much has you lost?", or commenting on how fat I was before, etc, I will just smile sweetly and say "I am bored talking about my body, let's talk about yours now!" I figure that will stop things pretty fast. :-)

I'm totally filing that away for future reference... best.response.ever. LOL!!!

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Ready2B, you're awesome ! Great comeback ! You win !!!! ( Can you imagine if you talked back to them the same way they talked to you ? " Hey, your boobs are looking a little saggy there Sue ! Going to get a boob job soon ?, or Hi Bill, I see your stomach is starting to hang over your little private parts there !! Geesh ! No wonder the ladies are'nt interested in you !!.............. Oooooooops !!!! Did I say thaaaaaaaaatttttt ??? (Steve Urkel ,TV show)

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People are noticing the hard work you are putting in. Focus on that. I agree it was a very odd comment. A lot of times I think this happens because people are not really sure how to bring up a weight loss compliment without it coming across funny or awkward just like your situation. I would look at this interaction as a positive thing and not dwell on it too much. Know that your hard work through this journey is paying off and people are beginning to take notice. Use that as your fuel to keep working hard for bigger and better results.

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That would be a little shocking to say the least. Even though we were over weight.....in general we take proud in the way we look and present ourselves. I hear constantly that they can tell in my face and chest that I have lost weight.....I just look at them and say " well I will be so glad when I turn around and you say you can tell in my "arse" that I have lost weight"..... LOL

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I had a man at work look me up and down and ask if my Staples were inside or out? I honestly was confused at first, he then said (in front of everyone standing around the Water fountain) I heard you had your stomach stapled! OMG I was so shocked I didn't even know what to say. People are so rude!

You are so much better than me, I would have asked him the same question, then when he said what do you mean, just say well I heard you had a penis implant as loud as I could..... conversation over!

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My opinion is that it's ok to say something nice like "Wow you look great you've lost weight." But it's inappropriate to talk about someone's boobs unless it is a close friend. I work for a large company and this would make a great HR video that we have to watch every year about inappropriate workplace actions. Sorry though that it happened to you.

Great Job on the loss-

LA

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I'm about 6 week post op and finally feeling better - not as tired. I'm actually noticing some weight loss! Came back to work after the Thanksgiving Holiday and had the following coversation:

Co-worker: Wow! I haven't seen you in a while. You look great! You have really lost weight!

Me: Oh, Thanks! (feeling good)

Co-worker: I can really see it in your face. And in your boobs.

Me: (looking down, a bit unhappy now) Um, yeah, I guess the girls are the first to go huh.

Co-Worker: No, I mean your boobs aren't resting on your stomach any more.

Me: uhhhh

Another co-worker: Yeah, I noticed that too.

Me: uhhhh

What do you say to that?! It's like punching you in the face and your so stunned you can't react.

What is wrong with people?!

WTH?!!!!

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I'm so sorry, I didn't MEAN to laugh at this, but if it helps it was an incredulous laugh!

Congratulations on your success (and you have a beautiful dog, btw)

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I'm pretty certain that it is NEVER ok for a co-worker to comment on your breasts in any way, shape or form. That's a very no-no conversation in the workplace. Well, in a corporate workplace anyway.

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d1fedb418ad38417dd6e68de95acbba6199155d7

like Water on a duck's back.... keep it up.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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