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But... What If I Really Love Food? And Other Questions
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I'm 25. I'm going to get the surgery. I'm deciding between sleeve and Lap Band, but I'm leaning towards sleeve. I'm going to do it. I need to.
But food is such a huge part of my life. It used to be a crutch for me, and now my relationship with it is a lot healthier. But... I still love it so much.
And what about exercise? Right now I work out 5 times a week, doing things from cardio to weight training to yoga to boxing. I bench press 140 pounds, which is pretty good for a woman. I'm told that my musculature won't change after the surgery. But will my body make it harder for me to lose weight?
I'm terrified of the staples causing a leak and getting an infection. I'm scared of dying during surgery even though I had my gallbladder removed before and apparently that's more dangerous. I'm scared I won't be able to go out with my friends anymore. I'm scared that I won't even make it through the pre-op diet.
Is it hard to separate your weight from who you really are? I'm a comedian, and I'm genuinely worried that I won't be funny anymore. What if I no longer stand out?
I currently weigh 270 and I'd love to weigh 200. Any less, I can't imagine. I can't even fathom. What if my body just isn't designed to be smaller than it is?
What about sushi? Does anyone have any insight about sushi?
This is a scattered series of thoughts, and for that I apologize.
Seriously, any advice about sushi would be greatly appreciated.