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Do you tell people you had Weight Loss Surgery?



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Too many judgmental people at my job. So it'll be a secret. I'm also afraid that if word gets out I may be passed over for any fire details thinking that the band may hinder my performance.

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Yeah, I made the mistake of telling some friends about my last weight loss regime and I REALLY regretted it. They somehow thought my sharing what I was doing gave them free reign to give advice constantly and it was super annoying.

Yeah you do have to be selective in who you tell. Although I don't mind talking about it, I don't need advice from someone who hasn't been through this or who is not a medical professional on my surgeons team.

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You don't need to "be prepared up with a story", you just need to be confident in your answers and firm in your efforts to shut people down.

"I'm working with my doctor and eating smaller, healthier portions and exercising." Period.

What are you eating? "Well, my doctor and nutritionist have come up with a plan that works specifically for me." Period.

Are you allowed to eat...? "Just like you, I can eat whatever I want, I simply choose not to." Period.

How much have you lost? "A lot."

Well, how much? "A lot."

So how many pounds? "A lot."

What size do you wear now? "That's a weird question."

Did you have surgery? "Why in the world would you ask such a personal question?" or "I didn't realize you were interested in WLS. I suggest you contact a doctor." or "That's a weird question."

How much more do you want to lose? "I'll know when I get there."

Are you still trying to lose weight? "I am working on being the healthiest I can be."

So HOW MUCH have you lost? "A LOT."

Wow! You've lost a TON of weight. "Thank you."

WOW! You are shrinking to nothing. "Thank you."

WOW! You've lost a whole person. "Thank you."

You are going to blow away soon. "Thank you."

Wow. You can't lose much more, can you? "Thank you."

It's really quite easy. Now give me a hard question.

Edited by LipstickLady

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I told my entire family and a few close friends before surgery. Almost everyone was very supportive. After surgery, everyone was really helpful and was concerned with my health. I really stuck to the plan, no cheating whatsoever and exercising and the weight started coming off quickly.

The only comments that really bother me is when people don't acknowledge all of the hard work that went into the last 4 months. I try to explain that the surgery was just a tool but some can't see past the surgery. It really doesn't bother me. I just stay focused on my plan. I do now however, never give the amount of weight loss. I just say A LOT and focus on me being healthier. I don't keep the surgery a secret, if anyone asks I tell them. I'm not ashamed, nor do I think any of us are. Once people are educated on WLS and realize that it is not magic, they understand it is a lifestyle change.

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If it's someone that I like and could benefit from surgery then I'll share. Otherwise I don't plan on telling.

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I am very private and, like you, I live in a small community. I don't have a public face, though -- that is tough. Anyway, I'm at the point where people are really noticing. I say things like, "thanks, I'm working really hard." I have also added things like, "I go up and down" -- that seems to knock people off their balance a bit. Shuts them up. Not that I'm ever going up again! But it somehow diffuses the discussion.

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I have decided that my standard answer will be "I'm following a medically supervised intensive weight loss program." If anyone asks me how much weight I've lost I'm going to tell them that I don't know because I am not weighing myself....which will be true. I will only be weighed at my followup doctor's appointments for the first 3-4 months. I work in an environment that is very anti-medical/pharmaceutical. When some of my co-workers found out I was taking prescription drugs for my hypertension they freaked out! I know I will hit a landslide of negativity if they find out about my WLS! I am not ashamed, I just don't want to deal with the negative vibes. I want to start my new life with positives!

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I think that for me it's a help for me to be able to tell people (if they ask). My mom has a coworker that has become a friend to me because she was open and honest with me about her surgery. She and I started talking about it in July and I finally took the first step in September. Her story and her experience (much like the ones on here) have helped me a lot in my decision making and in keeping my expectations realistic. I'd like one day to do that for someone so I'll be open about it.

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You don't owe anyone any explanations - a smile and a simple, "clean living" kind of response should do. It doesn't bother me personally, but I know it bothers a lot of people. As far as the questions go, our society treats massive weight loss like a spectator sport. I think that plays a role in how comfortable folks feel asking for details.

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I did.. I post it on Facebook . Why? I have been overweight my entire life and losing weight is something you can't hide.. so to avoid a lot of questions I just told to everyone..

Edited by clautxs

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I pretty much keep to myself, so I don't volunteer the info or suggest WLS to anyone, unless they specifically ask me if I've had WLS surgery and have questions. My 1st year post-op, I wouldn't have felt comfortable talking about it, but now, it's no big deal.

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NOPE! I had only told 2 ppl..my BFF's and of course my hubs...I didnt want neg comments or the whys..etc...its my business and my privacy..I just say I have a very strict diet and radical lifestyle change..I got off all high fructose corn Syrup, grains and processed sugar. I am 5 months postop an down 80..yes my family have all of a sudden noticed the weight loss the past 2 wks..its not up for conversation with me. I dont make a big deal to others. but this is how I have dealt with it. I might rethink about it yrs down the road but for now I keep it to myself...:)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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