I am now 3 weeks post op, and I have had 3 family gatherings already. My un-laws don't know about the surgery and I really worried how I'd keep the secret. Turns out,I never had to say a word.

No one noticed or cared about what or how much I was eating.

I thought everyone would notice how little / how differently I was eating, and no one batted an eye.

For the most part, I think you'll find that most people aren't paying attention to you and what you eat. So far, keeping the secret has been surprisingly easy. Don't feel pressured to tell before you need to!

Good luck, secret keepers!

Oops, in-laws. Not un-laws!

Oops, in-laws. Not un-laws!

I thought "un-laws" was intentional and a new term for in-laws you don't get along with. Lol.

I've been pretty open about surgery, but for sure I've never had someone who didn't know comment about my portion sizes.

I think they only notice when you pile your plate! Good to know! I thought UN-Laws was on purpose...too funny!

Lol!

Y'all are right! I'm not telling anyone except my mom. No one notices anything until you tell them you're trying to lose weight and that's when they start monitoring your consumption and providing unsolicited advice and opinions...so mums the word!

Y'all are right! I'm not telling anyone except my mom. No one notices anything until you tell them you're trying to lose weight and that's when they start monitoring your consumption and providing unsolicited advice and opinions...so mums the word!

EXACTLY!

I'm a secret keeper and I noticed I get more comments if I put very little on my plate vs if I put a normal amount and just stop eating. I'm planning to put more food on my plate for Thanksgiving than I can eat, and shifting around and playing with my food as others eat.

we had wraps at work and not one person questioned me when I dumped the wrap and tossed the tortilla. But then the next time we had a lunch provided and it was (nasty) lasagna, I put about 1/4 cup into a styrofoam cup (instead of a plate) I got questioned. I just said I wasn't feeling well, which was the absolute truth that day.

I think about 10 people in my life know I'm doing this. 2 were trying to talk me out of it at first but it was because they don't know what it's like to be overweight for so long and they knew nothing about what the surgery really is. It's not like lipo! Once I put it like that they were on board. Outside of them I don't really care what anybody else thinks ( I really don't care a whole lot about what thy think either lol).

I only told a few family members afterwards and they were like, "ok". Something important to you a lot of people could care less about. So,I am not even going to bring it up in any of my conversations. I made the right decision when I told the people important to me. They are very supportive.

Edited November 24, 201411 yr by motherof5

I'm a secret keeper and I noticed I get more comments if I put very little on my plate vs if I put a normal amount and just stop eating. I'm planning to put more food on my plate for Thanksgiving than I can eat, and shifting around and playing with my food as others eat.

we had wraps at work and not one person questioned me when I dumped the wrap and tossed the tortilla. But then the next time we had a lunch provided and it was (nasty) lasagna, I put about 1/4 cup into a styrofoam cup (instead of a plate) I got questioned. I just said I wasn't feeling well, which was the absolute truth that day.

I'm a "secret keeper" too! Love it!

Oops, in-laws. Not un-laws!

I was like un-laws...thats a great term for my ex-husbands parents lol. I think Ill use it anyway lol

I don't care. I'm a full blown open person and could care less what other people think. My family and my Dr's support this so I honestly don't care if they want to talk. I am 5' 6.5" HW 255. Most people start out with "you aren't big enough for that. You could loose that little amt by exercising". I come back at them with you know what if I could have it would have been gone by now. I have psoriatic arthritis and ankylosing spondylitis so if I do too much I end up in the bed in pain and I can barely walk bc my knees CRUNCH so bad. When my rheumatologist mentioned possible back surgery or knee surgery, I started looking for some other option, somehow. My Dr mentioned this and things have just fallen in to place. If someone keeps on with me I very nicely put them in their place and tell them my FAMILY, my DOCTORS, my closest FRIEND support this and I have to do this for MY health. I'm not asking them to do it or anything, just if they want to help they can pray while I am going to be goings through the 2 wk pre op and during surgery and then the 1st few months after. It always shuts them up. Now, since I start a full CLEAR liquid diet for the next 14 days exactly prior to surgery, can anyone give me suggestions on what to eat? This is the only thing I am stressed about.

When there's divorce involved my sister calls them "out-laws."