I Have No Motivation That Pushes Me

[finediva 979]

@RiskyGirl21. Good morning pretty lady. So where are you? Haven't seen any responses from you. Are you reading everything and trying to process all the advise and suggestions? I hope we have been of some support and comfort to you. Check in and let us know how you're doing. BTW, have you taken a slow stroll as yet? If not, promise to start today. Also, when are you scheduled for surgery? I'm assuming you are pre op right? So check in soon. Best.

[esskay77 785]

I'm so glad you posted this because it rings a bell for me and the responses have been great. I remember when I discovered that even the "fit" people who are at the gym all the time have to force themselves to go there! That was weird for me to hear. I thought they loved going (some do, I suppose but only after they are there. They still struggle to get themselves there). So, don't think that everyone else has this figured out and you don't. lol. We all have our struggles.

And someone said it best--don't expect to feel motivated BEFORE you start exercising. It happens during or afterwards! lol. Crazy, hey? I have major arguments with myself about working out. Today, my laziness won out over zumba. I have to change that, too. Though as much as I didn't want to go to Zumba today, Zumba was the one thing that gave me some of my stamina back! I could barely move without getting out of breath and after just a few Zumba sessions, I was amazed at how much more I could do. It has even enabled me to try running and actually be able to run much more than I ever thought I could, which isn't really that much yet but it's progressing and I can get further than I thought. I also had to play a game with my self to get to the gym. My goal was to just drive there and park my car. I could go home then if I wanted to. Of course, once I was there, I went in and worked out but I didn't have the pressure of expecting to work out. Just get to the gym. That's the hardest part--getting there.

There were a lot of great recommendations here and I hope they helped you. They helped me!

Let us know how it goes. Or if you need more encouragement. Best of luck--we are all rooting for you!!

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

I'm certainly benefitting from all the suggestions & timely reminders of what I already knew but haven't been applying.

For me, lack of motivation is due to LIFE- thumping me down- hard, over & over. Hard life-stuff, like yesterday, just as I opened my car door upon arrival at work, a huge black truck flying by fast & close, drove way inside the parking line & smashed / folded/ shoved up the driver door into the front end, & nearly took off my leg. I'd just started to maneuver my leg out of the car. Thankfully, I wasnt hurt. I'm trying to keep my focus on that! Not easy. He must've been texting or cell-talking to go that far over the parking line to hit my door- which wouldn't open nor close after that.

This, just a couple/few wks after someone at work put rubbing alcohol in my Water bottle while I was on break at work- which made me vomit blood for several days, then sporadically, now occasionally. Still trying to manage the inflammation from that.

Life's a real BITCH sometimes!

It's like I've been in a black-hole, a never-ending looong cycle of BS-pummeling- keeps putting me down- on the couch. I get my energy back- then BAM! Something else. Big stuff.

I really need to go do a hyawaska negative energy-cleansing to finally disperse this black cloud that's been following me around for way too long.

Next band appt, I get to consult with my actual surgeon for the 1st time since my survey 5yrs ago. (they use PA's for fills, unfills etc after surgery), I'll get some tests to see what the damage was/is. Hopefully the doc can help me fix this.

I'm going to ask her about hyawaska. It's common for most people to purge repeatedly following consumption

Sometimes, ok frequently, it's all I can do to get my chit together and go to work- an extremely toxic work environment filled with unbelievably toxic people.

Getting up to do the "happy-happy-joy-joy" dance to tunes is the last thing i feel like doing right now.

BUT I know once I do, I'll feel 'lighter', my spirits & mental energy will lift UP! Way up.

Sometimes what I know, is hard to apply. Real hard. I'm working on it.

Thanks to everyone for posting so many fabulous ideas & methodologies that are truly helping me pick myself up again. <3

I'm following this thread closely

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@NewLife'sGr8 - Just remember Always look on the bright side of life. I've been kicked down more times than I care to admit. More importantly I've gotten back up just as many times.

@@RiskyGirl21 - To quote my favorite movie, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." WLS of any kind is but a tool. It requires commitment and a new found dedication. It means from now on we commit to being mindful eaters. We commit to getting up and exercising. Whatever games we have to play with ourselves, whatever mental tricks or promise we make, we have to do it so we can get out and enjoy life.

Let's do this!

[finediva 979]

@@NewLife'sGr8 OK, where the HELL do you leave your house to go to work every day????????

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Someone put rubbing alcohol in your Water bottle? You called the police, right? You filed a complaint with your employer, right?

Same question about the collision.

That is just awful. You have had an awful time.

One thing that has motivated me to go to the Y in the past has been the hot tub. After my Water aerobics class we would soak in the hot tub. It felt great. Plus exercise and hot tubs are great stress relievers.

[esskay77 785]

Someone put rubbing alcohol in your water bottle? ?!!?? That's insane! Don't let it out of your sight for this to happen again. Those people are evil. What kind of place do you work at? I can't even imagine that sort of thing happening but it must. Wow. I'm speechless.

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

@ Bledgirl: I've also gotten up so many times - more than I care to admit. I know it's made me stronger. I know I've become more centered. I know what's important in life and what's not. If not for all these crazy, off the chain negative life-events, I would never have become so spiritual. It's also helped me not fly off the handle of the 'littler' things, like the car door. A manager commented that I'm a lot calmer about it than she'd be. I told her I've been that person who flies off- but it's too exhausting, so I don't really do that anymore- or I do it in private away from prying eyes.

@ finediva: Not sure I understand your question. I'm in upstate ny in a competitive job market (most jobs are min wage tourism & I'm in a good paying job with great benefits). I'm 1/2 Latina (1/2 irish) in an area that has a hard-core, powerful, racist underpinning that had successfully kept out "the others" until fairly recently. When I consulted with an attorney who's also a prominent judge about going back to my maiden name (clearly Latina) he said, "You might better stick with your (Anglo) married name." wow. That's when I knew-knew how deeply entrenched racism is around here. My co-workers, they want me gone because besides one other black woman who was hired during the days of Affirmative Action (and there's nothing they can do about it), I'm the only non-Anglo person working there (for a MAJOR corporation). I've taken the high road and stayed (17yrs)- so their tactics have become a LOT harsher. I hope that answers your question.

@@Inner Surfer Girl: YES! to all of it. Police & company have been notified. I used to be a Y member & have been thinking about re-joining. LUV that hot tub! yes, indeed. Thank you for reminding me

@esskay: I'm flabbergasted to realize the level of evil these people are. They get a kick out of it- like it's ok. The more they do to me the better. It's like a game for them- tag-teaming me. I know what I have to do (leave) but I'm near (early) retirement- exactly what they're attempting to prevent me from. No easy answers there. I have to get my strength back (I know! Exercise!) and then make my decision, whole. Can't even think about it right now.

Thank you for all your support & suggestions. It truly means a LOT right now.

I'm moving forward. Got checked right away. Made follow-up with surgeon. Tamping down the inflammation as best I can & moving on with life.

Next: I'm going to implement an exercise program. Until then, I'm taking your suggestions and am getting myself off the couch, moving, baby steps. That's the answer. Thank you all for that

[esskay77 785]

Does this mean your company has a pension? If so, I understand how difficult it is to leave. But if it doesn't, well, I guess the only other reason to stay is because of the pay and stability but, wow. I am so sorry that you are treated this way. I didn't realize we were in the 1950s! lol.

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

Yes, they have a good pension that I'm grandfathered into. Tough decision.

And yes, people here are several decades behind the times. Small minds across all demographics

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

Riskygirl2:

I hope you're getting as much as I am from your thread. Thank you for starting it. I know it's tough to get out of bed when we can't (in our minds). Baby steps. One foot in front of the other. One breath at a time.

This is a great place to find support anytime. Please keep us posted how you're doing.

[finediva 979]

@@NewLife'sGr8. I was in shock that rubbing alcohol was put in your Water bottle. Shocked. I'm sorry you're experiencing such hateful behavior and saddened that your company tolerates it.

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

Thanks @finediva. *appreciate much! <3

It's been a slow, dawning realization why they were targeting me.

Now, I know.

and there's some good in that

Not questioning myself anymore

taking precautions though they still blind-side me sometimes

All that questioning & wondering why is how I packed on 255lbs.

I became rattled & insecure.

Now, I can finally let that go

and just be me

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

oh!

and I'm not chasing ghosts anymore

now that I know the source.

I don't let them rattle me or disturb my day anymore

Bunch of (analogous to 'cats')

they lurk in the dark

spread rumors/lies- no clue what they've said

(can't defend myself- at all- not knowing)

instead of confronting me face to face

how lame!

my light's still shining bright

and that pisses them off....

and my extreme weightloss pisses them off,

because frankly, I look great now. Turn heads even.

and they can't stand that.

oh well.

[Beni 1,484]

Let's talk Elementary Education for minute because it's simplicity will be a good analogy. Teachers know when the kids come in the morning there has to be a transition period before any real work gets underway. Teachers set up the classrooms for a daily routine where kids come in

1. hang their backpacks

2. have a warm-up worksheet -usually fun and easy with a topic previously covered to access previous knowledge

By starting the process with an easy activity your brain wakes up to the next step. It's not a get up from your chair, wear gym clothes and go for a full hour of cardio. That will never work in a classroom, no surprise it doesn't work in real life. I think the unrealistic expectations of starting a exercise program with a full on Zumba class is what is preventing your success. You need a warm-up exercise. It's like a body in motion stays in motion but it can't be zero to 60 miles in 6 seconds. Ask yourself what can you do? Not I can't walk 5 miles but what can I do? I can park in the farthest spot and walk in to Target. Okay, that's all I'll do today. Next day, ask yourself what can I do? Believe me you will build up your exercise but you have to start with just a warm-up worksheet then re-access. Okay, I walked for 5 minutes, can I do another 5 minutes? Soon enough you will.