I just found out my surgery will be in July (granted my pre-op testing goes okay) SOOOOOOOOO

Here's a thread for everyone getting banded in July 07!

Does anyone have any good ideas for a neat name we could call ourselves?

I paid 384$ for the entire year. Just one lump sum. THe cool thing is they will suspend my membership while I am recovering from the TT...for free! I got a discount because I am a teacher...one of the rare things we get for doing that job! Mainly because it is across the street from the high school. For me location is a huge thing because otherwise I won't go. The canyon that I run in is between my house and school and I drive by it everyday. So if I don't go there is a little pang of guilt. Keeps me honest.

Phyl- your smileys are dead on when it comes to Pacific NW weather! I love em! Keep your head up about your DD...Maybe she will come to her senses tomorrow!

Appears that Janet did get to go to Laughlin. I am so happy for her cause she has had a rough week!

Well I did 60 minutes on the eliptical this afternoon and now DH and I are going to play computer games for the rest of the evening! Will check back in between quests!

Phyl- your smileys are dead on when it comes to Pacific NW weather! I love em! Keep your head up about your DD...Maybe she will come to her senses tomorrow!

Appears that Janet did get to go to Laughlin. I am so happy for her cause she has had a rough week!

Well I did 60 minutes on the eliptical this afternoon and now DH and I are going to play computer games for the rest of the evening! Will check back in between quests!

the Smileys are cute! I enjoy finding appropriate ones to post here!

Another of my amusements... my home page is set to Google and somehow tied to my zip code. So the header is all these people waiting at a bus stop. Their attire, etc changes according to the actual current weather conditions. Right now, it shows them waiting in the pouring rain with their heads covered with umbrellas, newspapers, etc. It's kind of cute!

Better than looking out the window!

Good job on the eliptical! Have fun with your computer games. I did my Wii stuff tonight but not for too long.. foot and knees started hurting.

I really like the bowling and golf.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

EVERYONE!!!!!!

Great job with the exercise girls!!!!!

Phyl how old did you say your daughter was again?

Two or three? :tt1:

Great job with the exercise girls!!!!!

Phyl how old did you say your daughter was again?

Two or three? :tt1:

I think it's the TERRIBLE TWOS!!

Good evening ladies. I'm sure no one is up anymore.....but then again, I took my Saturday nap so I'm not so tired.

DH got my motorcycle running today!!! He is definitely my hero. We went out riding for about an hour. It was AWESOME. A little chilly but it was definitely worth it. I can't wait to ride it to school one day before it's out. We got it last summer but I wasn't confident enough to ride it to school yet. I've been dying to though. I'm so glad I'm married to such a handy guy.

Then tonight we played wii as a family. We bowled a few games and then we boxed. I did 4 matches. I was about to keel over I tell you. Holey cats!!! I logged it on daily plate as 15 minutes of boxing with a punching bag. Does that sound fair? Then dh and I golfed a few holes. I've never golfed before in my life so that was interesting. I definitely can't say that I'm good at it. I have yet to do the wii fit stuff. I need to get it together. DS took a fitness test today and his wii age is 52. If he's 52 I MUST be 154.

Mom and I are going to Minot in the morning after church. M may get on before we leave but probably not much. We'll see.....But I booked a motel room at the holiday inn because they have an elliptical machine so I can try it out. So I'm kind of excited about that.

Phyl, you'll have to tell me about Minot on our trip. Not my favorite place, but it does have a mall! It's the closest mall to me....so it's like the hillbilly going to town when I get to go. And btw, I'll wish you a happy mother's day and I would LOVE to have brunch with you. I hope you know how important you are to all of us. I'm sorry that your dd is going through too much to see how horrible she is treating you. Enjoy the little ones tomorrow. don't let dd turn YOUR day into anything less than the perfection that you deserve.

Goodnight ladies.

Good Morning and Happy Mother's Day to all you moms and grandmas.

Phyl, summer's coming. Hopefully the clouds will soon blow away (both figuratively and in reality) and things will brighten up. BTW: I was an OB nurse in my "other" life before teaching. I even "caught" 10 of 'em myself! What fun (most of the time).

Janet, How is DIL? I still can't get over the horror of it all. Something similar just happened to a friend of DD's; she got away, thankfully, but is understandably quite traumatized.

Kari, I think you will be amazed after your tt at how little you weigh. I am getting a little concerned that you are still losing however. Have you had your body fat % checked at all? I have a feeling that it is actually getting quite low with all the exercise you're getting.

Ruby--Wow! 3 pounds in one week at this point is a great boost! It must have been quite an upper to see that on the scale! Good for you!

Steph, Have fun shopping--hope you find some cool summer things! Where is Minot?

My dd came home for the weekend. She has an interview on Monday. We're actually skipping church today to go tanning and then do some much needed shopping--for me! We did get to TJ Maxx last night and I bought a denim skirt and capris! I still go into the fitting rooms with stuff that's too big, and I can't believe it when it doesn't fit. I think I have some body image issues going on.

Kari, I think you will be amazed after your tt at how little you weigh. I am getting a little concerned that you are still losing however. Have you had your body fat % checked at all? I have a feeling that it is actually getting quite low with all the exercise you're getting.

I am upping my calories to 1800 this week to see if I can start maintaining. No I have not had my body fat % checked yet. My lap band doc told me NOT to becuase of all the excess skin/fat that is hanging will most likely cause the readings to be falsely HIGH, and he was afraid that would cause me mental problems. As soon as I am healed enough from the TT though, I do want to go in and see it. I really do want to maintain...I just wanted to make sure that I will be below 150 after the TT happens. I think only being 4.5 pounds above that I will. So I am upping the calories by 300 a day in hopes that it will stop the weight loss. In fact I may have to increase them even more as I have to increase training. At this point I burn 100 calories per mile...so my Thursday workouts when I hit 11 miles this week...I will be at 1100 calories burned. Within 3 weeks I will have 2 workouts a week that burn more than 1000 calories. There is no way I could stay at 1500 calories and maintain.

Here is the hard part however, I have to keep in mind that I am going to have to drastically reduce my calories again when I have surgery because I will not be doing this kind of exercise. So I want to make sure that I don't set myself up to start gaining weight when I have to sit on my butt for 6 weeks! However once I am healed then it is training for a marathon, so whatever I do gain during surgery, I will be able to lose quickly. I was thinking of whether or not I was going to get a fill after surgery, but that is all going to depend on how quickly I can start training for the marathon. If I can get back to light training in less than 2 months I won't, because there is NO way you can eat the amount of calories that you need to and be filled. I would waste away to nothing. Thank you so much for your concern. It is nice to feel loved and worried about. I have promised everyone that if I get below 150 that I will increase the calories so that I can get back above it. No more being happy about losing weight. I really do need to stop, but I am not skin and bones...and I don't want to get there either.

Happy Mother's Day!

Phyll - She sounds more like the contrary, obnoxious threes to me.

Here's a button for you to u=cut out and wear, today.

Or there is this one.

As Steph would say "holy cats" I did it. I ran 6 miles. I didn't get to do it this morning as we went to meet MIL for lunch, then DH and I went to a musical. So I didn't even get started until after 6PM, but I finished the whole thing. I am not going to sugar coat this and say it was easy or fun...I do not have a runner's high tonight...I am just tired. It was hell! And OH BOY did I sweat! It was dripping from everywhere...even places I didn't know could sweat! I am sure I will be much more impressed with myself tomorrow...but right now I just have to get in more calories...I am only at 1150 today...not nearly enough when I just ran off 650!

As Steph would say "holy cats" I did it. I ran 6 miles. I didn't get to do it this morning as we went to meet MIL for lunch, then DH and I went to a musical. So I didn't even get started until after 6PM, but I finished the whole thing. I am not going to sugar coat this and say it was easy or fun...I do not have a runner's high tonight...I am just tired. It was hell! And OH BOY did I sweat! It was dripping from everywhere...even places I didn't know could sweat! I am sure I will be much more impressed with myself tomorrow...but right now I just have to get in more calories...I am only at 1150 today...not nearly enough when I just ran off 650!

Holy Cats is right!!! I need a smiley cat with wings I think!

You are so awesome. I'm so much in awe!

Mom and I had a great day. Church this morning, then we went out to lunch with my mom and MIL and FIL. Then DH and I went on about a half hour motorcycle ride. Nothing too far but enough to get out in the fresh air. Then mom and I came to Minot....btw, Minot is in ND....we shopped a bit but not alot because there wasn't much open this late on Sunday, but we'll do more tomorrow. Tonight we went out for dinner. I had Tuna. Someone mentioned it and I hadn't ever tried it. If you haven't ever eaten tuna, you should all try it. It was amazing. I could only eat half of it, but it was soooooo good. Room doesn't have a fridge so I can't keep it. Seems a shame. Oh well. I now have a favorite new food.

Then we came back here and I worked out. Remember that the reason I booked this motel was because of the elliptical? Well, I warmed up with 10 minutes on the treadmill. I ran for a minute straight. That is amazing for me. It sounds crazy I know but a minute running is huge!!! Then I did 15 minutes on the elliptical. I don't know if that is good or bad, but it almost killed me. It didn't even register a mile so I'm assuming it wasn't that great, but it was super feeling. Now though I'm a little foggy. I'm having a really hard time focussing. I think I need to log off. I can't focus.

Have a great day tomorrow everyone. It's a new week and I hope you make the best of it!

Holy Cats is right!!! I need a smiley cat with wings I think!

You are so awesome. I'm so much in awe!

Mom and I had a great day. Church this morning, then we went out to lunch with my mom and MIL and FIL. Then DH and I went on about a half hour motorcycle ride. Nothing too far but enough to get out in the fresh air. Then mom and I came to Minot....btw, Minot is in ND....we shopped a bit but not alot because there wasn't much open this late on Sunday, but we'll do more tomorrow. Tonight we went out for dinner. I had Tuna. Someone mentioned it and I hadn't ever tried it. If you haven't ever eaten tuna, you should all try it. It was amazing. I could only eat half of it, but it was soooooo good. Room doesn't have a fridge so I can't keep it. Seems a shame. Oh well. I now have a favorite new food.

Then we came back here and I worked out. Remember that the reason I booked this motel was because of the elliptical? Well, I warmed up with 10 minutes on the treadmill. I ran for a minute straight. That is amazing for me. It sounds crazy I know but a minute running is huge!!! Then I did 15 minutes on the elliptical. I don't know if that is good or bad, but it almost killed me. It didn't even register a mile so I'm assuming it wasn't that great, but it was super feeling. Now though I'm a little foggy. I'm having a really hard time focussing. I think I need to log off. I can't focus.

Have a great day tomorrow everyone. It's a new week and I hope you make the best of it!

Steph...Running a full minute is HUGE! Remember...I had to start somewhere and it certainly wasn't at 6 miles. But I have been doing this since JANUARY! As for the eliptical, I did a full hour on it yesterday and I think it registered just over 3 miles. So unless you have the resistance REALLY low and are almost sprinting on the thing (which I do not recommmend as it can be hard on the knees) you are not going to go very far. I have always been able to do the elipitical for a long time. Even when I was fat, I could go for a while on the eliptical. My legs have always been in good shape it is just the rest of me that lacked!

Oh and on a side note...I took my resting heart rate when I got up this morning and it is down to 60. Before surgery it was at 90+! HUGE NSV for me!

Ok first off I want to tell you all happy mothers dayand janet congrats on gettign to goal and sooo sorry to hear about DIL.

Next I really need shoulders to cry on. I have emotionaly fallen apart. This had been the absoute worst mother's day I have ever had!! My daughter (16) is the meanest girl today. It all started this morning when she came home fom her weekend of being with friends (we let her go when ever she wants because she asks and she is not a drinker, smoker or into druggs or anything) Anyway she gets home get a blanket and lays in the living room recliner and starts to go to sleep. I calmley said Court we are all chipping in to clean the houes this morning and then we were going to go do something for mother's day and tonight I have rented movies for us all to watch. her mean mouth comment was ' well enjoy yourself cleaing' She never NEVER healps do ANYTHING!!! She continued on with terrible mouth telling me I am no mother, 'i hate you' 'Do it yourself' you don't know how to be a mother' and so on. I have spent my whole day in bed sleeping and crying. Sleep for a while and wait up and cry until I fell back to sleep. I no this is wrong but I have had nothing to eat today because I just don't think I could handle food. I have no appetite.

This has all gone on since 9am this morning and there were never any sorries, no cards, no I love yous from either of my kids. My son waxs nasty at first for a while and then when he seen that I was really hurting he jsut backed off and kept telling courtney to shut up she had said enough. she even told me at one time today I am a piece of crap and quit whining for attention. I just keep asking myself 'where the hell did my daughter go because this mean vindictive girl is nothing like her. I called my mom at 8:30 tonight to tell her happy mothers day and I jsut started sobbing because I haonestly have no idea what i have done to my daughter except give her everything and let her go and do things all the time. She was not home one night this past week and today i really wanted a family day and she was tired from all her activities this week. It is all such a long story and it is now 1:15 in the morning and I jus don't have the energy or the emotionals to relive this horrible day.

Friday my doctor put my on an antiaxiety med because I am just on edge and so emotional all the time and I have an appointment on May 22 for the psychiatrist so I am hoping they can give me something .I am also planning on setting up counseling for myself and her INDEPENDENTLY. I used to go and they told me that I was severely co dependent and I know that i have slipped back into those habits but I tell you I feel about as slow as I have in many many years and I have for quite some time and today was just the topper of it all. My daughter actually said to me today 'I wish you were dead instead of my dad and my life would be so much different.' My heart is broken in so many pieces and I have just finished falling apart. Today was the last shred of straw I had that i was holding on too.

I feel like such a failure as a mother. Their dad is not here and I am doing this alone with no support and all I ever hear is how I am screwing this up. DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Sorry to lay all this on you all. I am going to go watch tv for a while now. Hopefullt sleep will come later.

Oh Jackie, Your story strikes a familiar cord. You must be feeling so alone. I'm glad that you were able to sit down and tell us about it. I hope that helped a little bit. I think you are doing the right thing by seeking out counseling. I'm not sure that you need a psychiatrist however. My perception of them is that they mostly manage medications, but don't provide much in terms of counseling. Instead, you might think about looking for a psychologist or therapist who is trained in family counseling. They are the ones who have the kind of experience and training in helping people develop insights into their feelings and behaviors and learn new ways of coping with difficult issues. There is no easy fix to what you're dealing with.

One thought I have in reading your post is that your daughter sounds very angry. When I went through this with a couple of my kids, one insight that I got was that while the anger seemed to be directed at me, the truth was that they were displacing their anger onto me. In other words, I was someone that they considered "safe" to be angry at. You may never know what your daughter is really angry about. I know that's not a lot of help right now, but it would be great if you could get a counselor for her to help her work through thoes issues.

Where to go from here? Well, my apporoach was tough love. At 16, you daughter is still dependent on you. You have a responsibility to provide shelter, food and clothing for her, but she does not have the right to more than that. I took the car keys away from my kids. I refused to buy them CD's, pay for their cell phones (I took the cell phones away and only let them have them when it was convenient for ME), or buy them more than basic jeans and tee shirts. I "cleaned" my daugher's room and put all her clothes that were laying around in garbage bags, which I then brought to a neighbor's for awhile. When my daugher yelled at me, I told her that I loved her and walked away. That was really hard, but she had to know that I wasn't going to listen to it. Things got worse for awhile. She went running to her bf's mom, who was happy to play "good mother" to my "bad mother" which didn't help one bit!

Things weren't much better with one of her brothers either. We had to drive to his college late one night and pick him up b/c he was threatening suicide. He later told his therapist, in a family session, ablut all the "abusive" things I did to him--like being angry with him about something. It was absurd, but again, I was the target of his anger--the reason for his unhappiness.

At 18, my daugher went away to college. She picked a college that, while still within driving distance, was as far away from me as she could get. Today, she is driving back there for the last time. She is a mature 21-year old who who earned a double major with honors in 3 years. She came home for the weekend to spend mother's day shopping with me and we had a wonderful time. My point is that while I would never have thought it could be like this when she was 16, it did turn around. As for my son, At 26, he lives on the other side of the country now and is working on his Ph.D. in Psychology (of all things) We still are not as close as I would like, but I did get a one-line happy mother's day email from him yesterday. The thing is that he survived too.

What you're going thorugh right now is awful and it sucks. I am so sorry that you have to walk though this. I pray that you can get tough to the insults, and I pray for wisdom for you in how to respond to them. DO NOT let these kids sabotage your weight loss. Take care of yourself, Jackie! Try to believe that while the insults hurt, they are NOT the truth. The truth is that you love your kids, and you are doing the best you can to give them what they need--which may not always be what think they want.