Long termers...

[Emtabulous 11]

Sleevers that are 3+ years out, what has been the hardest adjustment long term?

Also, what does your typical daily meal plan look like?

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I will be 3 years in December... close enough? I have lost over 160#. My start weight was 308 (lifetime high recorded was 332) and now weigh in the 145 ballpark... big big big change!

Hardest challenge for me is slowly peeling the onion and realizing all the things that I used/abused food for. I had disordered eating... not so much an eating disorder. I see that as a metaphor for other things in my life. I am smart, successful, outgoing, love to have fun, high drive... lots of good things... but, there are issues. I was so "over food" by the time i had WLS that I didn't suffer too badly from the emotional deprivation some others express. (I remember a woman on this forum calling 911 on herself.. she was wildly out of control emotionally post op! Could not deal with not being able to stuff herself..oh my..). My "issues" showed up later - really, after I hit goal. I now know why I ALWAYS regained after losing weight in my youth... i basically freaked out about being trim/normal. That sounds insane, but it is the truth.

I learned that I had anxiety issues that I masked with over eating. I learned that I sometimes feel pretty lonely, previously masked with food, watching TV, reading excessively and other "numbing" techniques. I learned that I blocked people from being close... I used my fatsuit as a shield at times. I write often (in the ladies room and vet forums mostly) about learning new social skills... about becoming fully human really. Learning skills most others learned in their youth but I somehow missed out on.

This site has proved invaluable to me. I bare my soul pretty regularly in hopes that it helps others... but mostly because it helps ME! I am a work in progress, even though I have been under goal for awhile. I continually practice being more "open", more expressive, more ALIVE. People who know me .. trust me... and give me honest feedback. It is so helpful.

A skinny minny rich b*tch friend influenced me alot. She told me that when I was obese I was polite, but intimidating. Like... I held most people (there were exceptions) at a distance. when I lost weight, she told me I became a magnet and she just wanted to be with me. It wasn't about how i looked.. it was about how I acted! So strange, because in my head, I always think I don't "look" good enough. This woman is a bombshell, and I felt judged by her, but I realize now it was me with thie issue - not her!!! She likes me, trusts me and is attracted to me as a friend. Truth is, looks account for VERY LITTLE. it is your openness, your lovingness, your self confidence, your joy... that people respond to. WHO KNEW??????

Edited October 14, 2014 by CowgirlJane

[livvsmum 2,370]

I will be 3 years in December... close enough? I have lost over 160#. My start weight was 308 (lifetime high recorded was 332) and now weigh in the 145 ballpark... big big big change!

Hardest challenge for me is slowly peeling the onion and realizing all the things that I used/abused food for. I had disordered eating... not so much an eating disorder. I see that as a metaphor for other things in my life. I am smart, successful, outgoing, love to have fun, high drive... lots of good things... but, there are issues. I was so "over food" by the time i had WLS that I didn't suffer too badly from the emotional deprivation some others express. (I remember a woman on this forum calling 911 on herself.. she was wildly out of control emotionally post op! Could not deal with not being able to stuff herself..oh my..). My "issues" showed up later - really, after I hit goal. I now know why I ALWAYS regained after losing weight in my youth... i basically freaked out about being trim/normal. That sounds insane, but it is the truth.

I learned that I had anxiety issues that I masked with over eating. I learned that I sometimes feel pretty lonely, previously masked with food, watching TV, reading excessively and other "numbing" techniques. I learned that I blocked people from being close... I used my fatsuit as a shield at times. I write often (in the ladies room and vet forums mostly) about learning new social skills... about becoming fully human really. Learning skills most others learned in their youth but I somehow missed out on.

This site has proved invaluable to me. I bare my soul pretty regularly in hopes that it helps others... but mostly because it helps ME! I am a work in progress, even though I have been under goal for awhile. I continually practice being more "open", more expressive, more ALIVE. People who know me .. trust me... and give me honest feedback. It is so helpful.

A skinny minny rich b*tch friend influenced me alot. She told me that when I was obese I was polite, but intimidating. Like... I held most people (there were exceptions) at a distance. when I lost weight, she told me I became a magnet and she just wanted to be with me. It wasn't about how i looked.. it was about how I acted! So strange, because in my head, I always think I don't "look" good enough. This woman is a bombshell, and I felt judged by her, but I realize now it was me with thie issue - not her!!! She likes me, trusts me and is attracted to me as a friend. Truth is, looks account for VERY LITTLE. it is your openness, your lovingness, your self confidence, your joy... that people respond to. WHO KNEW??????

I'm only 1 year post op, so I don't really qualify for this post :-) but I just wanted to say I could have written most of this post word for word! Good job doing the hard emotional work! I really am convinced that is a big part of what separates those who keep the weight off and those who don't.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I will be 3 years in December... close enough? I have lost over 160#. My start weight was 308 (lifetime high recorded was 332) and now weigh in the 145 ballpark... big big big change!

Hardest challenge for me is slowly peeling the onion and realizing all the things that I used/abused food for. I had disordered eating... not so much an eating disorder. I see that as a metaphor for other things in my life. I am smart, successful, outgoing, love to have fun, high drive... lots of good things... but, there are issues. I was so "over food" by the time i had WLS that I didn't suffer too badly from the emotional deprivation some others express. (I remember a woman on this forum calling 911 on herself.. she was wildly out of control emotionally post op! Could not deal with not being able to stuff herself..oh my..). My "issues" showed up later - really, after I hit goal. I now know why I ALWAYS regained after losing weight in my youth... i basically freaked out about being trim/normal. That sounds insane, but it is the truth.

I learned that I had anxiety issues that I masked with over eating. I learned that I sometimes feel pretty lonely, previously masked with food, watching TV, reading excessively and other "numbing" techniques. I learned that I blocked people from being close... I used my fatsuit as a shield at times. I write often (in the ladies room and vet forums mostly) about learning new social skills... about becoming fully human really. Learning skills most others learned in their youth but I somehow missed out on.

This site has proved invaluable to me. I bare my soul pretty regularly in hopes that it helps others... but mostly because it helps ME! I am a work in progress, even though I have been under goal for awhile. I continually practice being more "open", more expressive, more ALIVE. People who know me .. trust me... and give me honest feedback. It is so helpful.

A skinny minny rich b*tch friend influenced me alot. She told me that when I was obese I was polite, but intimidating. Like... I held most people (there were exceptions) at a distance. when I lost weight, she told me I became a magnet and she just wanted to be with me. It wasn't about how i looked.. it was about how I acted! So strange, because in my head, I always think I don't "look" good enough. This woman is a bombshell, and I felt judged by her, but I realize now it was me with thie issue - not her!!! She likes me, trusts me and is attracted to me as a friend. Truth is, looks account for VERY LITTLE. it is your openness, your lovingness, your self confidence, your joy... that people respond to. WHO KNEW??????

CGJ - what an amazing post! Every bit of it.

So much good content here for reflection. Hmmm ...

Thank you for all your contributions here and elsewhere. Your contributions are almost always ones I think about for some time. You help.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I have come to the conclusion that the work is never done.

I have to "tow the line" most of the time.... but not ALL of the time.

I want to eat to deal with stress, and go ahead and do that sometimes.

I also have developed some activities that give me the "good feeling" I try to get from eating (and never really lasts more than a minute or two)

I find that nature is my salve. I kayak, walk, bird watch, drive around in the country, work in the garden. This does more than almost anything to make me feel better when Im stressed or down.

I also dance, which has helped me in many ways... body awareness, fitness, developing a community, confidence...

I have worked these things into my week, every week, maybe 4-5 days a week... and I cherish them for all the pleasure and relief they give me.

I cook. When I take the responsibility to cook my own food from scratch, some self grown, organic, Vegetarian.... I can take more control over the Protein content, the type of carbs and fats involved... and its an art as well. I share with others. I can my own jams, pickles and such. This eyes open involvement in the process helps me to really enjoy my food, and bring it to a level that reveres the taste and textures and where the food comes from, and all those complexities involved. I like to think about and experience food... but when I engage with food unconsciously, like I'm taking a drug or something.... and look for satisfaction... its not there.

i try to be grateful.... its satisfying.

Meeting and talking to people here can be satisfying. I learn so much here, I gain how to be myself better, How to relax and move forward to find answers, to sit with failure and see how it is a learning experience... to get back on track without self hate.

I still have not really dealt with the "fat me". I look at photos of myself in wonder. I feel so sorry for her... its hard to take to heart that its me. I was so unhappy with my looks then... I really felt I was such a failure in that area. I was so successful in many ways except that one. I was brave then, and tried many things... I dieted, exercised, tried so many approaches to getting my body the way I wanted it to be, but none of them really worked. It felt like a curse. I am so grateful that I am still close to goal (surgery over 3 1/2 years ago), and seem to have a set of skills to stay there... although I know that could change.

Edited October 15, 2014 by feedyoureye

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

The hardest adjustment long term is the fact that I can't eat like other people. I go out to eat often, and while adjustments can be made like sharing a meal, sometimes I just want to eat more than one piece of pizza. Or I want to eat a cheeseburger and not get rid of most of the bread.< /p>

That does not mean I can't graze all day. I am really bad about that. I hate that really full feeling. I can eat way too much easily, and it hurts. I hate that feeling. So I tend to eat little amounts all the time.

Breakfast is always a Protein drink or I would not eat.

lunch varries. I eat out a lot . Friends want to go out to eat. I usually order some sort of salad, because it's easy to eat. If I am home, I'll have Greek yogurt and a slice of deli ham or a piece of cheese,

later in the day I might have a Power Crunch bar. I am addicted to those things.

dinner I do better. I have meat and veggies or meat and salad.< /p>

I almost always have a 100 calorie pack of cocoa almonds for a night time snack.< /p>

It's really hard to give up sweets. I don't think that would change whether I was sleeved or not. It's been a problem all of my life.

Oh and btw, I am 5 years out. I hope this helps in some way.