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secret surgery: what else can you tell someone if they ask?



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The gastric sleeve surgery used to be the surgical treatment for stomach ulcers that refused to heal. My husband and my BFF girlfriend both know I had the surgery for bariatric reasons, and as far as everybody else is concerned I had the surgery due to unresolving stomach ulcers (which I actually do have a history of). It's really nobody else's business, and I don't want to hear any negative flack from the armchair quarterback gallery.

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blame HIPPA...haha Tell them "Due to HIPPA I am not at liberty to say" and change the subject. lol people are so nosy, eh?!?!

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I said girl surgery.. and when they ask how I am loosing so fast I tell them - a major lifestyle change

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I actually had a hiatal hernia repair during my sleeve surgery so I just tell people that, and omit the rest. Then when they ask why I'm not eating I say because of the location of the hernia I have to be careful not to irritate the incisions... That's also why I'm losing weight so fast and I think I'll use this issue to kickstart a new healthier lifestyle. All true but they don't need to know ALL the details. But you will need at least one person to speak with openly. I guess that's where we come in! :)

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Staycation is enough I think. When people start to ask about your weight loss you can tell the truth just not the WHOLE truth, and say you are on low calorie low carb diet which is true. Your life your business!

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I have told no one. I am 3 months out and have lost 44 pounds. Yes it is showing. My friends and neighbors are noticing, but they are also noticing that I walk over 11 miles each day! And when I do eat with them they see I have cut way back on food portions. I tell them simply I am limiting my food intake and eliminating carbs as much as possible. Other then that it is none of their business. It is my body and my life.

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@@jjinWA 11 miles a day. kick ass!!! so far so good, I have been back to work, seen family. I just swallow the pain and hide it. try to live normal.

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Hernia repair sounds good, you can have hernias in different places and even have the same one repaired twice so you are covered with that one. Gallbladder more difficult if you actually need it removed later. I told everyone about my first surgery and this time around only my real close network knows. I figure others are not close enough to insist if I tell them I took a few days off.

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I've had an interesting experience telling people about my surgery. I've been matter of fact, I had a vertical gastric sleeve and hernia repair. No one says anything other than hope you are feeling better. I think most people have no idea what a sleeve is so just saying what it is gives them enough info to move on. I don't say it is a WLS or anything. I've been amazed people aren't more curious. Having said that, just saying you had a hernia repair would work too. Good luck!

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Sleeve2bFree ... that's tough dealing with family members who are idiots.

That's precisely why I didn't tell any of my family. I didn't want to EVER have to have any of those conversations.

It's inspired my sister to get back in the gym & others around me to pay closer attention to their calories. All though their motives may have more to do with not wanting to see me lose the weight before them ( which I find amusing).

Also, I found that after 15 years my N-laws don't really know me at all. I've had to give up my career, my life, my talents, I've been in & out of the hospital for numerous tests & procedures, I can't work & am on disability (& through all this gaining weight). MY husband & I have kept them informed every step of the way but yet, I guess they've never cared enough to listen. Since the surgery some seem to care more and others seem to care less. None the less, God has used the bad for good.

Through it all it builds character and strength. And I am learning to be thankful for my trials.

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I am 67 and I can't be bothered telling half truths. To mince words means those people who presumably would not be in favor of my decision, have an opinion that counts. They do not. In my mind, I am proud to take this step. I am not ashamed to admit I need surgical help. Anyone who ventures a negative opinion, I listen to politely ... the first time. After that, if they bother me with their unsolicited opinions, I tell them that they are welcome not to have the surgery if they like.

These people often are bent on undermining your confidence and sabotaging your weightloss. Maybe it is unconscious, maybe not. I expect to loose friends because I will be slimmer than they are. So what?

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My boss is a judgmental jerk who has actually told me I need to exercise more and lose weight, and then my colitis will go away, among other things. Without my asking for his opinion, btw. So I told him I was "having surgery" and would be out for two weeks but didn't tell him what it was. I am actually a little worried about returning to work because it's going to be hard to hide my new eating habits. He doesn't even leave us alone in the break room. Anyone else ever go through this?

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I forgot to mention I had the surgery 9/15 and am down 15lbs. I go back to work in one week.

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I explained that I was eating purees because my stomach was 'messed about' by the hernia repair. Not really a lie, as my hernia was severe and a third of my stomach was in my chest cavity. Eugh. It is getting harder now though I'm trying to convince everyone that I'm recovered yet still eating mush. I'm just shrugging it off for now.

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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