Angry, embarrassed, worried after second weigh-in

[jessiquoi 623]

Tuesday afternoon I went to the Bariatric Center for my second of three follow-ups with the team. The first month, I lost 5.6 lbs. I knew I didn't do as well this time, but I expected to see some loss, maybe a couple of pounds, based on my at-home weighing.

Their scale says I stayed exactly the same.

I was fine with that for about 2 minutes, thinking my first month was really good and I'll work harder next month, but every one of the team members (nurse, nutritionist, exercise physiologist, behavior counselor) was concerned and let me know about it during my 15 minutes with them. They all told me there's a chance the insurance won't approve me for surgery if I don't lose 14 lbs (5% of my weight).

Threw me totally into depression. I couldn't get out of bed yesterday to go to work. So now I have to lose 8.4 lbs by 9/23, my next scheduled visit.

I realize that I did exactly what I usually do when I go on a "diet". I was gungho for about a month, then start slacking off on my weighing and measuring (like, not doing it at all) after my first good weighin. Yes, I am pleased that I didn't gain any back... that says a lot to me that I am working a bit. I'm just so scared now that I won't be able to lose that much and they won't approve me.

I can't stand feeling this way. Like many of you, I've been very successful in just about every aspect of my life... except losing weight. I really need this surgery. I feel like I'm going to be a miserable, cranky b!tch for the next month as I struggle with this. I'm normally sunny and optimistic... this is making me a monster, and I don't like it.

I wish I could just be put to sleep for a month and fed intravenously. Wake me up when I'm sleeved, please.

Sorry for the pity party. I'll be better now that I've dumped all of that out of my brain. I couldn't even look at the forums yesterday I was so down. Friday I have my appt with the gastroenterologist, and he'll schedule me for my endoscopy and colonoscopy, which are the last pre-op requirements I need to fulfill (other than the weight loss). I am garnering the strength to break this chain and finally succeed at taking care of myself.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Ask them to check your metabolic rate. My sister stayed the exact weight for over a few months of a well monitored diet program. They are now checking her metabolic rate because they said if that is off she won't lose weight even with surgery.

It might be worth a shot!

[jessiquoi 623]

RJ, then if they find out that's the case, that I can't lose even with surgery, wouldn't that be another reason to deny me?

[2late4bed 37]

Tuesday afternoon I went to the Bariatric Center for my second of three follow-ups with the team. The first month, I lost 5.6 lbs. I knew I didn't do as well this time, but I expected to see some loss, maybe a couple of pounds, based on my at-home weighing.

Their scale says I stayed exactly the same.

I was fine with that for about 2 minutes, thinking my first month was really good and I'll work harder next month, but every one of the team members (nurse, nutritionist, exercise physiologist, behavior counselor) was concerned and let me know about it during my 15 minutes with them. They all told me there's a chance the insurance won't approve me for surgery if I don't lose 14 lbs (5% of my weight).

Threw me totally into depression. I couldn't get out of bed yesterday to go to work. So now I have to lose 8.4 lbs by 9/23, my next scheduled visit.

I realize that I did exactly what I usually do when I go on a "diet". I was gungho for about a month, then start slacking off on my weighing and measuring (like, not doing it at all) after my first good weighin. Yes, I am pleased that I didn't gain any back... that says a lot to me that I am working a bit. I'm just so scared now that I won't be able to lose that much and they won't approve me.

I can't stand feeling this way. Like many of you, I've been very successful in just about every aspect of my life... except losing weight. I really need this surgery. I feel like I'm going to be a miserable, cranky b!tch for the next month as I struggle with this. I'm normally sunny and optimistic... this is making me a monster, and I don't like it.

I wish I could just be put to sleep for a month and fed intravenously. Wake me up when I'm sleeved, please.

Sorry for the pity party. I'll be better now that I've dumped all of that out of my brain. I couldn't even look at the forums yesterday I was so down. Friday I have my appt with the gastroenterologist, and he'll schedule me for my endoscopy and colonoscopy, which are the last pre-op requirements I need to fulfill (other than the weight loss). I am garnering the strength to break this chain and finally succeed at taking care of myself.

I wanted to cry when I read your post because I know how other people's comments about your weight can send you spiraling into depression. I have severe thyroid issues. Had it all my life. In 5th grade I suddenly went from skinny to fat. Got put on medication and went from fat to skinny again.......but not before I took horrible verbal abuse from classmates and close family members.

With each pregnancy I ballooned and each time got harshly reprimanded by my doctor even though I was eating extremely healthy and much less than non pregnant. Not once did they check my thyroid level or increase my dosage. It has since been studied and found that pregnancy causes lower thyroid functioning and needs to be monitored each trimester and medication increased.

One doctor halfway ridiculed me. Looked me straight in the eye and I was 7 months pregnant and repeated twice with emphasis....that's a LOT of weight! I gained 8-10 pds. a month for a 50 pd. total weight gain each time and was made to feel so bad during my appointments that I would cry all the way home....and I wasn't even that big at the time. Lol. 183 pds. was my final weigh in before giving birth.

I know how hurtful those appointments can be. I went to diet doctors who made me come in weekly and weigh in. This is after I passed the 200 pd. mark. in recent years...I'm 48 now. But I was so worried about what the stupid doctor might say to me if I failed to lose so I started taking laxatives....like 4 or 5 of them the day before weigh in. I always lost 5 or 6 pounds overnight that way but it was strictly Water weight. I dehydrated myself and got dizzy and all because I was afraid of what some doctor might say. Crazy I know!

Please hang in there! This surgery works in more ways than restrictions calories. Google the studies done recently. Also, my brother had the sleeve done 2 years ago and he is 5'10" and went from 300 pds to 185. I've also known several others who had it and were successful so relax..don't stress! Try your best and they will approve you. Don't let it make you crazy...

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

RJ, then if they find out that's the case, that I can't lose even with surgery, wouldn't that be another reason to deny me?

RJ, then if they find out that's the case, that I can't lose even with surgery, wouldn't that be another reason to deny me?

No..They can fix it and you should be able to have the surgery as a tool to help you. this is what is happening to my sister. They have to find out the reason. They feel it is her metabolic rate that is down. It would be a good thing to check so that they know why you did not lose weight. All good! okay

Edited August 21, 2014 by RJ'S/beginning

[DarbiMolly 188]

Well, you said you slacked off so that's one thing you can do - be really consistent with weighing and measuring. I started at 209. I lost 24 lbs on my 1 month pre op. Then after surgery, I lost another 17 lbs the next month. I've slowed down now that I'm on solid foods but I weigh everything on my scale. You can do it!

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

I wish I could go with you on your next appointment to give them apiece of my mind! Lucky for me my surgeon knew that I had lost all ability to lose weight via diet. I had to do the 2 week liver shrinking diet and I about died of starvation...only lost 8# in2 weeks even though I suffered terribly. I have had great success post sleeve and I don't believe these extended preop suffering diets predict long term success.

Hang in there,don't get depressed. It's YOUR life on the line here, they are there to support and care for you through this process. It's just their job, but it's your future we are talking about.

[Beth Pets 36]

Get back on that annoying diet horse, make sure you are getting a balanced diet, double up on your Vitamins (if it's ok with you PCP) and ride that horse to the finish! Find a way to relax and focus that works for you like yoga, meditation or prayer and focus on your goal.

People get cranky when they are breaking an addiction. It doesn't last forever and you can explain later when you are on your way to a more healthy and balanced life.

[2late4bed 37]

Well, you said you slacked off so that's one thing you can do - be really consistent with weighing and measuring. I started at 209. I lost 24 lbs on my 1 month pre op. Then after surgery, I lost another 17 lbs the next month. I've slowed down now that I'm on solid foods but I weigh everything on my scale. You can do it!

Just curious..

If you started out at 209, why did you have to do a month of preop? Was that a whole month of liquids only? I thought that was reserved for heavier patients. My liquid preop is 2 weeks and I know ever doctor has a different preop but a month of liquids? I am the same weight as you but only 5'1 and questioning now if 2 weeks is sufficient. Thanks.

[Jersrose43 837]

Ok take a step back a moment.

Did your insurance tell YOU that they would deny if you didn't lose weight?

And when are they looking for this weight loss? Does it include the pre op liquid diet where you will lose 10-15 pounds?

I never believe office people. I get this from the horses mouth.

Some doctors offices require a weight loss. Not the insurance. Go talk to them.

[jessiquoi 623]

@@CowgirlJane, I wish you could come with me too! that would be awesome!

@@Jersrose43, you are right. i am going to call the insurance company and ask them.

thank you for all the pep talks. it really helps.

[jessiquoi 623]

@@Jersrose43, I LOVE YOU!!!

thank you for giving me the impetus to call the insurance company. they forwarded me their paper on requirements, and i just read it, and it says "patient must not show a net gain in weight". period!!! so the 14lbs is strictly my doctor's requirement? recommendation? i don't know. but i do feel so much better knowing this!

[GummyTummy 154]

Jess,

It sounds like your doctor has you on a preop diet that includes food. I am not a registered nutritionist by a long shot but I would suggest moving over to a diet that includes at least two Protein shakes a day. One shake for Breakfast would be easy, and one for dinner if you have the bad habit of eating too much too late in the day. The whole point of them being Nazi's about your weight preop is that they want to shrink your liver for surgery so that it is safer for you and easier for the doctor. Additionally, I would ask for copies of your blood work and do a bit of research on your own to see if your TSH levels are off. Those are the delightful thyroid stimulating hormones that tell the docs if your brain is being lazy about telling your thyroid to work or if it is overactive. Check your own Vitamin levels, sometimes our bodies crave what they are deficient in. Completely cut out all sugared beverages.

Lastly, even if they didn't approve you which I am sure they will if you have suffered lifelong weight issues, you should not give up on having this surgery. I'd pick pennies off the street to pay for it if I had to and I am not even one month post op. During my preop diet I actually lied to myself daily and pretended I had already had the procedure and that I wouldn't risk damaging my new tummy if I derailed on the liquid diet. Mine was full blown liquids only so it took all of my bad decision making chances away. This may be what you need. We are here for you, don't give up.

If you aren't walking 30 minutes a day, do it. There's a little secret about the first 8lbs of weight loss and a reason why we gain it back. The body stores 2lbs of glycogen in our muscles / liver to use as energy. In order to keep that readily available in our muscles our body uses 6lbs of Water to stabilize / liquefy the glycogen. When we first lose weight, we shed that weight rapidly through urination / sweat etc. However, a week to three later, your body needs to rebuild those stores and when it does you regain all 8lbs you lost. You have to push your body for more if you want more to come out of it. Also, stay away from the salt. It will make you retain Water which also skews the scale.

Edited August 21, 2014 by GummyTummy

[Jersrose43 837]

@@Jersrose43, I LOVE YOU!!! thank you for giving me the impetus to call the insurance company. they forwarded me their paper on requirements, and i just read it, and it says "patient must not show a net gain in weight". period!!! so the 14lbs is strictly my doctor's requirement? recommendation? i don't know. but i do feel so much better knowing this!

That's great! Good luck and tell the office next time to offer encouragement through this process. Not discouragement and floggings.

Now remember no net gain! Seen too many people going through issues with that so keep up the good work and make it happen.