I'm finding myself in a rather strange situation. I haven't weighed myself for a while, not because I'm afraid the scale is going up, but because I'm actually worried about weight loss. Yes, I know I'm crazy.

The thing is I got banded and then the weight started to fall off pretty fast. But I got really sick as a result of the rapid weight loss-- my gall bladder went bad (evil is the term I perfer) and I had to stop eating so I was on Clear liquids for over a week and of course I lost more and between the vomitting the intense nausea and diziness I was bedridden for half of April. Now that my gall bladder is gone I am feeling much better, and I'm able to eat again. I can even eat fatty foods without a problem! But I still can't eat much at all. Since I still have some swelling from the surgery that makes me even more restriced (I have no fill).

I find myself worried about losing weight quickly again. I know I only had one gall bladder, but that made me so sick. And I've been finding myself eating in some not so good ways these past days because I want to get more food in. I find myself drinking a lot as I eat. I eat too fast and because of that I don't when to stop until it is too late sometimes and I either slime or I am on the verge of a PB. I've noticed that I am overstuffing my pouch. I don't mean too, but I don't notice it until after I do it.

Part of the problem, I think, is that I am not necessarily awake long enough to get in three meals a day lately. I'm narcoletpic and have a few other sleep disorders. When I don't feel well or am healing from surgery, I find that I really want to sleep more. In order for one of my narcolepsy meds to work right I can't eat anything withing a few hours or so of bed time (like no closer than 4 hours). I can eat anything, physically. Its just that I can't eat a lot of anythign except for stuff thats pretty soft like ice cream. Getting through dinner (a roast beef sandwhich w/ low fat cheese and three breaded veggie things) took a while and a lot of drink and I felt a little overfull when it was over despite all that.

But I feel compelled to eat as much as I can and then have junk food Snacks as well, like either ice cream or a Peanut Butter cup, because I worry that I will lose weight too fast. I think I am worried that if my gall bladder went bad, what next? Only I also want to have healthy eating habits and patterns and follow the rules and my nutrition guidelines that my dietician gave me. And I do want to lose a lot of weight. I just don't want to lose it this week. Or as fast as I was unless I know there won't be anymore bad side effects.

Any suggestions? I would appreciate some help here.

I probably can't be much help, but I'll try. It sounds to me that it is a psychological problem...your brain is so hard wired for survival (which means EATING) that it is having a real hard time allowing you to 'let go'. It is in the most basic of instincts and is not easily re-wired. That's why it's so hard for people to create new, healthier habits....because the brain won't let us let go of the old ones. The old ones have worked pretty good fur us as a species!...now a little too well! So the trick for you is to engage the higher, creative and emotional side of your brain and to keep it engaged long enough so that new neural pathways can be created. The way you do this is to focus on the new and exciting YOU that you want to create. Get happy and excited about all the new things you will be doing when you lose the weight and get healthy and fit! Write a list of all the reasons you want this and remind yourself of how badly you do want it. You've got to want it bad!! Stay positive and forward-looking. Surround yourself with positive images of who you really want to be and all that you really want to accomplish. Set small goals and Celebrate when you reach them. If you have the resources you may want to engage a life coach or therapist with this process. At the very least you probably should read a good book or two about creating a new life and breaking old habits....something along those lines.

I hope that helps. I wish you all the best in your journey FORWARD!

Excellent advice from TerryDoodle! I agree that it sounds like you need to adjust your thinking. Remember that you are trying to lose weight because that is the HEALTHY thing to do! Keep pushing your liquids (non-caloric or low-caloric, I like lemon Propel) and adjust your calories if you need to,in order to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week. Your body will thank you for it; don't let fear keep you form your goal.