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What do you do when they say you look to thin?



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I am just hit my 1 year mark and for the last few months people are telling me that I've lost too much. I started at 201 pounds and now I'm at 119 pounds I'm only 5'2. I had three different people say that I look sick and people are asking if there's something wrong with me. I'm wondering if I should try to gain a little weight so that I can look healthier. But I'm terrified that it might be a spiral of gaining weight back. I am not sure I even could gain if I wanted to at this point.

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How old are you? If > 50, you don't want to be too frail. But...

Probably people are just so used to seeing you big, they just have to accept that you're a more normal weight now, especially for your height.

Don't undo your work to please others. If you do that for this, you'll do it in other areas of your life...and be totally screwed. Live for you, as you know what your weight struggle, desires and health needs have been and are.

Are you healthy and happy? That's what matters, not everyone else's opinion.

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What is your BMI? Does it say you are underweight? How do you feel? Sometimes drastic weight loss can change the way our facial features appear to others. If your BMI is not underweight, maybe a new haircut/makeup could show off your weight loss in a positive light. :)

I should add that people have yet to tell me I look "too thin" until I tell them I'd like to lose 5-10 more pounds. Then they say, "Oh! You don't need to lose any more! You'll be too thin!" I am still 5 pounds over a "normal weight" BMI. Pretty comfortable here, but if I continue to lose, I'm fine with it. Sometimes I think people's comments are more about their own insecurities than my appearance.

Edited by Teachamy

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I just looked. You are considered normal weight according to BMI charts...

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Tell them that not only do you feel healthy, you are probably healthier than they are!

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A Dr-Patient said don't do anything to please others.

When people say you look too thin tell them that according to your doctor you are just the right healthy weight and that in time they will get used to seeing you this size.

When I get told not too lose anymore or that I look skinny I outright say that I'm 180 pounds and at that weight I would need to be 6'11" to be considered underweight. (I'm 5-10). The irony is that the main person who says this to me is a woman my same height who is 145lbs. She used to say how she gained so so so much weight while pregnant and weighed as much as 180! But I guess on me that's too skinny!

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First, I have found that most people do not want u to succeed, they may perceive your new success as a threat and therefore may say things that truly do not make sense. A friend of mine told me that once, and My response to her was,,,,..this is the first time in my life I have ever been called skinny, let me enjoy it!

Now my tact is not for everyone, but I found that its best to ward off these comments, because they truly r not helpful. Its almost like the person who says you are to skinny, just really wants you to stay fat....!

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My friend got the Gastric bypass a few years ago and she told me that first year of losing weight, she look terrible, like she was sick or something but after a while she looks fine and healthier. Probably it's just a phrase and people need to get used to the new you.

I only lost 39.6 lbs and sent a photo to a friend, she said, you looked prettier when you're fat.

Oookay! lol

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Slightly off topic but whenever I do something extra nice for my 14 year old (like 2 One Direction concerts in 10 days) I make her promise to call me skinny at least once a day! (She's a smart 14 old she knows never to say "too" skinny or those tickets are straight up on stubhub! LOL!)

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Thanks everyone for your input on this. I think you all are right. I have to do what is right for me and feel good about me. Trying to please everyone else is impossible.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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