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I do not remember seeing one here, so I am going to start a thread on what we can come back with a sting when someone makes a derogatory comment about our weight loss or accuses us of taking the easy way out. We can keep it tame, like

Say, "If you're not on board with my weight loss plans, let's change the subject."

Or we can go after them hard with something like "Well then, you should never get on an elevator or drive your car ever again!

Oh, I just found a three page thread on this topic from 2012. Here is the link.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/202970-need-comebacks-for-easy-way-out-crack/

What else can we add to it?

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Oh, I just thought of one myself. Tell her that your other option was a tapeworm.

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I read an interesting perspective. Do diabetics take the easy way out using insulin? Do heart patients take the easy way out with mess and surgery instead of diet and exercise ?

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I remember reading one of those etiquette experts give advice on how to handle nosy or mean spirited (said as if well-intentioned) comments and questions and I think it works in a lot of situations: Look at them with mild surprise, count to three in your head and then say "I'm sorry, what did you say?" and when they repeat it say slowly "That's what I thought you said." and change the subject. If they persist then I'd just tell them that my doctor and I made a health decision and although they're certainly entitled to their opinion, it doesn't really factor into my views on my own health and well being and then end the conversation.

Luckily, I haven't had anyone be so awful to me. (Yet)

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GREAT thread, MissMac. Thanks.

How about these comments? How would you respond to them?

1. You're losing weight so fast! Are you sure that's healthy?

2. You've lost too much weight. You're starting to look gaunt!

3. Come on, tell me the truth ... did you have WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY?! (The last three words are either spoken louder than the first part of the sentence or stage-whispered.)

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I remember reading one of those etiquette experts give advice on how to handle nosy or mean spirited (said as if well-intentioned) comments and questions and I think it works in a lot of situations: Look at them with mild surprise, count to three in your head and then say "I'm sorry, what did you say?" and when they repeat it say slowly "That's what I thought you said." and change the subject. If they persist then I'd just tell them that my doctor and I made a health decision and although they're certainly entitled to their opinion, it doesn't really factor into my views on my own health and well being and then end the conversation.

Luckily, I haven't had anyone be so awful to me. (Yet)

I've read a few threads on this topic - and this is my favorite response so far. I had thought that if someone said this to me I would just raise my eyebrows and walk away, but this is even better. I wouldn't want to come up with a retort that sounded defensive when the question is just so completely ludicrous that it doesn't merit a response.

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A bit snarky back but I think it would do the trick: Look closely at the corner of their mouth and sweetly say,"Excuse me, but there is a tiny bit of BS left on your lip."

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GREAT thread, MissMac. Thanks.

How about these comments? How would you respond to them?

1. You're losing weight so fast! Are you sure that's healthy?

2. You've lost too much weight. You're starting to look gaunt!

3. Come on, tell me the truth ... did you have WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY?! (The last three words are either spoken louder than the first part of the sentence or stage-whispered.)

Personally for me I'd go with:

1) My doctor and nutritionist are very thorough. They have a lot of experience and they're tailoring their expertise to my personal needs. I feel in good hands. How has your summer been?

2) A lot of people are used to seeing me much bigger so they're not used to my weight loss. So far I'm really happy with my progress. How is work going?

3) Yes, I had weight loss surgery. Statistics show it's the best chance people have for keeping the weight off. Do you think Hillary will get the nomination for 2016?

Everyone has to find what they're comfortable with though.

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Back in the day, Dear Abbey offered a generic response to nosy questions: "Why would you want to know?"

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I'd forgotten where that one came from Miss Mac. For years I've used a version of it; (imagine look of surprise and feigned innocence) "Gosh, why on earth would you ask such a thing?!" Used it when my own sister asked how much our mortgage was and if I was really okay incurring dept for graduate school. Hah!

Great thread - and one I needed today. I returned from 4 weeks of vacation yesterday to a rather public job. No one had noticed so much of what I'd lost before I left (really folks? You didn't spot those missing 40 pounds?!) and now i'm down another 16. One woman hugged me and as she pulled away, not whispering at all, said "You're not going to be able to hide what you had done much longer!" They all knew I took time off for surgery, and I was oblique about it being 'gastric' but that was all I said. I just smiled and said it was great to see her. Sigh. I wouldn't mind a quiet private comment to me alone, but not in a crowd thank you very much.

Several people in my family have said quasi-compliments about how much i've lost or how 'skinny (at 227?) I am getting. I hate the dwell on it, since it eventually comes down to someone saying how they wish they could do WLS but don't qualify. It's said in a way that conveys how unfairly easy this route is of course. To them I've just shut it down saying, "Thank you - I"m working hard on it!" and then change of subject or side step away to someone else.

On the other hand, everyone else said how healthy and well rested I looked. So i'll stay with enjoying those compliments instead!

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Just say "I'll pass it on to my physician that you disagree with his treatment plan" and walk off. I used it before. Worked great! LOL!

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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