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why am I so angry



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Holy smokes, I'm a raging pile of hot mess! I'm a little over a week out on bypass, I should be ecstatic, but instead, I want to gouge everyone's eyeballs out. Hubby was suppose to step up his game and help out around the house. I'm cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, laundry, and everything else.. wtf!?! And when I voice my frustration it becomes a huge fight. There's no intimacy, no connection... which also makes my angry. How do I get past this? Is this normal for post op our should I seek professional help?

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Wow!! I'm really surprised at how much energy you have!! At this stage post op there is no way that I could have cooked, cleaned, etc. You are doing extremely well and your anger is totally normal. About the intimacy thing - your husband is just as new at this as you are. Although you look the same right now, he knows there are big changes coming and has no idea what to expect. And, although you're entitled to be angry right now, constantly expressing it to your husband does not make you a very attractive target for intimacy. To answer your question, in my opinion, yes it is normal and it should have been covered completely with you during the psych appointment(s), if that was a requirement for you. I went back and forth between anger and sadness for a few weeks, then suddenly I was extremely happy with myself, which made everyone around me happy as well. At almost 6 months post op, to use your word, I'm truly ecstatic and life is wonderful!! Everything will be fine - you just haven't found your new normal yet.

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Thank All of You !!!! For this topic oh my goodness I thought I was loosing my mind !!! I'm 7 weeks post op & it's driving me nuts at time... But there is a light at the end of tunnel

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I've heard that our hormones are stored in our fat deposits, and that when we lose that we will experience all kinds of emotions that have been stored up. With that said, if my husband hadn't been willing to help me out with my personal needs and around the house, I would have been angry. I am really lucky that he was willing to do that, but after a week or two he did start to get grumpy about it, LOL. I would say to make sure that the kids are fed, and let everything else go to hell for a little while until you feel better. Just close your eyes to the mess and catch up on it later. If you have any family close by or friend who has offered to help, now would be the time to call in the recruits. If not, just do the very basics, and don't ask your husband to do anything. It might make him start feeling guilty and he might have a change of attitude want to do it himself. If one has never had an abdominal type surgery, they don't know how challenging recovery can be for the first while. It sounds like you are doing great but it sounds like you're doing way too much and my opinion. Good luck!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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