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Family/friends who say I've lost too much weight



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PJ Geezer,

The office I go to allows me to schedule the next appt at the time of a fill, next week next month etc" then if I don't need it, cancell 24 hrs ahead so they can put another patient in. Maybe yours will do this? Good luck!

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I would just thank your family and friends for expressing their concern about you but tell them that you are working closely with your doctor to get you the healthiest you can be and that they should not be worried. Then change the subject. You won't change their minds and they won't change yours, which is OK since you are taking care of you, not them. Congratulations on your WL, by the way. Great job!

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I am thinking if you have been life long overweight, that is the only way they know you. But you have to do what feels right for you. Even the BMI numbers can be wrong for an individual. A physician may push for a certain BMI, but that can be misleading. If you feel healthy and like how you feel, that is what is important. As I am losing weight, my Mother-in-law has no problem telling me I look old. She buys me all sorts of skin creams and treatment serums. I am fine with it because I feel better. I have a lot left to lose, but losing it my face first has always been my thing. I just nod and let her say what she wants. Then I tell her that her comments hurt my feelings and I need to do this for me. My husband is very supportive. And that is all I care about. Will it change my behavior? No. This is my journey... not hers. This is your journey... not theirs. If you give yourself a goal weight, but realize it is too low, you can change that. Nothing is chiseled in stone. If you feel your goal is good- then good for you! Good luck to you in your journey. Take care.

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I completely understand what you're going through. My family did the same exact thing to me. How did I handle it? By allowing what they said to go in one ear and straight out the other. I didn't even comment. I heard what they said but didn't pay it any attention at all whatsoever. This is my body and your body, not theirs. Don't be discouraged. Keep doing you. Congratulations on the weight loss so far.

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Your weight is your decision. I recently had to be remanded due to a slip. I gained 20 lbs AFTER my new band. My sister (who weighs 110 soaking wet and ALWAYS has) keeps telling me I look soooo much better since I've gained it back. But I'm Not happy! I started at 273 and am now at 190. I'm 5 8. I understand bodies are different and I can't weigh 175 without looking sick. It's your choice. Your body. Ignore the haters!

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I have a problem with my close friends and family also commenting about losing too much. I weighed 230 lbs. Before my band. I now weigh 115 lbs. And I am 5ft 4in. Measurements are now

36-24-36. August 16th 2011. I had lost 89 lbs first 9 months. To me that was a drastic weight change. Not from the 130 to 115 lbs. It hurts my feelings. Even my boyfriend I asked if he was happy about my transformation. He said I liked you the way you were. I was completely crushed. I had worked so hard.

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I *hope* your family is doing it out of love and concern. Seems like they aren't very supportive. Maybe they WERE, but to say you've lost too much? That is YOUR DECISION and your SURGEON's DECISION. You sound like you are doing AMAZING!!! Let that, and that alone, keep you where you want to be headed. Negativity will only bounce you to a place you don't want to be. Keep your mind on your goal, and leave it at that. I'm sorry coin not trying to be rude. I hate it when other people try to act like they know what's best for you. You're a grown woman, your body is YOURS, and yours to do with what you please! I'm not trying to be harsh, but they should ALWAYS support you.

Keep up the GREAT work!!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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