Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I didnt want to lie...



Recommended Posts

To be honest, a lot of why I didn't want to tell people IS because I'm ashamed. I'm embarrassed in the first place that I ever got so big and out of control and I'm annoyed at my body that no matter what diet or nutritionist I followed, the weight wouldn't stay off. I knew people would talk about me when the weight started coming off (had surgery 2/17, I'm down 75lbs right now)...part of the reason is because it's none of their freakin business. I did tell my closest friends and coworkers and they love and support me and tell me I have nothing to be ashamed about....I guess I just have to get over the guilt that I have...I've done what I've done and I'm happy with my results so far! Best decision I've ever made!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On to the question of lying.

I have answered this question more times than I would like to on this forum as I feel those who fall into the category that not saying they had surgery is lying, I feel, I merely trying to make themselves feel superior.

Get over yourselves.

But, to address the OP, when I have been asked why I am not having more children, should I tell them I had a vasectomy and give them the details behind my decision? Do I owe the inquirer that information?

How about when I run into someone from years past who knew me when I had glasses and noticed something different. Am I obligated to go into the details of my lasik surgery?

Having a hemorrhoidectomy was, without the doubt, the third greatest surgery I have had in my life. MY GOD! I COULD SHOUT IT FROM THE MOUNTAINTOPS THE JOY AND RELIEF I HAVE FELT!! Anybody here want the details?

Anyone ... ?

Why then, am I obligated to go into any detail about my decision to have WLS? When people ask me the secret to my success, telling them Portion Control, not drinking with meals and exercise is NOT A LIE. Could I have done this without the surgery? Sure. I HAVE done this in the past along with many other diets and I was able to lose weight. Great amounts of weight, but I was never able to sustain the lifestyle.

The sleeve helps me to sustain the lifestyle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with PDX. The incessant questions and comments and the Eagle Eye focus on weight/diet alone prevented me from telling "everyone". Those who needed to know, those who I needed to be cheerleaders, all know. I work in a hospital and it he stereotypes of gossiping nurses is sadly true (not all but enough). I had seen it before in a coworker who had it done. She went on and on about it. They, in turn, went on and on about it. Please, see me for more than my weight, big or less big (I'm a long way to small). I've lost 68 and it's becoming the topic of conversation at times. I do look different. I'm thankful for the heartfelt comments. I'm not comfortable with acquaintances who push for details. I do tell what I do: low cal, low carb, high Protein, track calories, swim/exercise. None of that is a lie and this doesn't work if I change those so..... I am well aware I won't "fool" everyone. It's not my intention to "fool" or "lie". But if I didn't tell you, it's probably because you didn't really need to know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been in HR a long time and had many employees come with paperwork for time off for WLS, and I always thought, "Good for you!" They frequently ask if they have to tell boss/coworkers why they'll be out and I tell them they are welcome to say anything or nothing. It isn't anyone's business.

Unfortunately, I saw the stigma that was sometimes attached to those who chose to be open about their surgery. They were perceived as somehow weak or lacking by their peers and people would act like their success wasn't "real." For some reason, people think it's ok to look down on people who seek medical help for obesity or sometimes mental health.

I am open with friends and family about the sleeve. At work, it is no one's business, and I don't want any sort of stigma attached to me. My body is not an ok topic of the workplace.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@PdxMan

I totally want to know about your 'rhoids.

As I told my wife on our first date, don't ask me any question to which you don't want to know the answer, 'cause, I'll tell you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im totally going to tell people the secret to my weight loss success. I will have three rotating stories.

1. Meth

2. Lipo

3. Too broke to buy food.< /p>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I mean, does one feel the need to hide it so they can feel superior as if they did it themselves without help? To gain accolades from their peers? Does one feel ashamed because they had to go to such drastic measures to gain control of their weight? I'm just trying to understand why lying is a better option for anyone because I've always lived my life as an open book.

Some of us aren't interested in being the poster child for WLS in our communities, workplaces, among our friends, etc. It becomes the first thing one thinks of when that person's name is mentioned.

I don't get why that is so hard to understand.

Kudos on being an open book. Some of us like our privacy. People are different.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of us aren't interested in being the poster child for WLS in our communities, workplaces, among our friends, etc. It becomes the first thing one thinks of when that person's name is mentioned. I don't get why that is so hard to understand. Kudos on being an open book. Some of us like our privacy. People are different.

Exactly!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im totally going to tell people the secret to my weight loss success. I will have three rotating stories. 1. Meth 2. Lipo 3. Too broke to buy food.< /p>

Best. Responses. EVER. Lololololololol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I mean, does one feel the need to hide it so they can feel superior as if they did it themselves without help? To gain accolades from their peers? Does one feel ashamed because they had to go to such drastic measures to gain control of their weight? I'm just trying to understand why lying is a better option for anyone because I've always lived my life as an open book.

It has nothing to do with feeling superior or anything like that. In fact, I don't like to stand out. It's the judgement from others I'm trying to avoid. Funny thing...you kinda sound judgmental a little bit... Not trying to start anything. But it's sort of funny because maybe this question in the forum is showing me that there's no where completely safe from judgment. Thanks for teaching me that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you to everyone for your support. It means the world. Blessings All!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I mean, does one feel the need to hide it so they can feel superior as if they did it themselves without help? To gain accolades from their peers? Does one feel ashamed because they had to go to such drastic measures to gain control of their weight? I'm just trying to understand why lying is a better option for anyone because I've always lived my life as an open book.

It has nothing to do with feeling superior or anything like that. In fact, I don't like to stand out. It's the judgement from others I'm trying to avoid. Funny thing...you kinda sound judgmental a little bit... Not trying to start anything. But it's sort of funny because maybe this question in the forum is showing me that there's no where completely safe from judgment. Thanks for teaching me that!

Yes!! Matter of fact...it sounds to me as if she actually is "feeling superior" because some of us "LIE" and she doesn't.

Thank you everyone for posting different views of this and being non judgmental. I think we have all been judged enough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>I am only on month 2 of my 6 month supervised diet. I don't plan to tell anyone but my mother. I have lost 60 to 80 pounds in 6 months several times and gained it back plus more. When the ask, as they always do, I am going to tell them the truth. I have given up soda, cut out processed foods and focus most of my calories on getting Protein. All true. My health and medical information is mine to share or not share. Let people wonder and think what ever they choose. All that matters is how you feel about it. </p>

That's how I feel too. What you are sharing isn't a lie. I wanted help to figure out the best way of Not lying but not share everything..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am getting sleeved on Monday :) I have not told anyone at work - it's nobody's business !! But I work with a bunch of women and I know the questions will be asked constantly !! Two months ago I joined crossfit, and I have been watching for the past month as per my doc, I have lost 6 pounds ( not much I know) but at least I have a story and I'm sticking to it ! Ha! My bmi is also 35. I really don't think the average person would even consider that I had wls , I hope not! I just don't want to hear the cattiness of others- good luck to you!! And remember it's nobody's business -those two fat girls -in my opinion probably have no idea that you had surgery, they're just jealous that whatever your doing is working !!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×