Banders #6

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

MOST OF YOU HAVE KNOWN I HAVE SPOKE ABOUT MY MOTHER WHO IS YOUNG BUT HAS MAJOR HEALTH PROBLEMS & I ASKED & TRIED TO GET SOMEONE THAT WOULD DO WLS ON HER BUT SINCE SHE HAS REALLY BAD HEALTH THEY THINK THAT SHE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE STRESS OR COME OUT OF THE SURGERY SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE WEIGHS MORE THAN SHE ACTUALLY DOES , BUT SHE WEIGHS ABOUT AS MUCH AS I DID WHEN I INITIALLY WENT IN FOR WLS & STARTED PRE OP.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Debbie, it's so hard to watch a loved one in this disease. Your park pictures made me smile this morning. I, too, went to several outdoor music events this summer for the first time. I was so happy to have fun and be able to stand without pain.

My mom is young as well. Twenty years older than me, but lives the life of someone forty years older. She's always been that way. I realized recently that at the age I am now, my mom was already using a motorized chair at Disneyworld when we went on a family vacation. I was headed for that life too until WLS .

I am so grateful for this second chance at life. I don't ever want to forget or take it for granted.

[gowalking 10,790]

I smiled at your park pictures as well Debbie. I'm also sorry about the situation with mom. All we can do is the best we can for them...

JWM...loved what you wrote. I too am beyond grateful for changing the trajectory of my life. Everything good that has happened to me since being banded is all due to the weight loss. That's where it all started.

Depending on the weather this weekend, Julian and I are either going boating in Flushing Meadows Park or maybe we'll check out the Queens Museum..also in Flushing Meadows. They have a panorama of NYC that is phenomenal...but you have to be able to stand in order to view it all and look at it up close. I can do that now. ...and I can get in and out of a rowboat again.

I no longer live in fear of not being able to negotiate something due to limited mobility and pain. Feels like I used to be in prison but have since been set free. Really.

[jfc193 719]

I continue to be amazed at what my wife and I can do. Surgery seem so long ago and yet it is the simple reminders that keep me going.

I enjoy going up and down stairs where before if I forgot and left an item upstairs it just stayed upstairs now I just go back up and get it.

Getting up and out of the sofa used to be a challenge and took a great deal of effort and then had to have a rest so the air would flow back up to the brain now I just get up on the first try.

Certainly my health is so much better today then before.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I had an epiphany last night. For months, I've been feeling so stuck, like a failure, and and at the mercy of my fears (divorce) and sadness (recent events and empty nest with girls returning to college tomorrow). This seems so simple, yet it took until yesterday to hit me at a gut level: pre-stall, when my food was in order and I was exercising, I could handle anything. Anything. The worst days in the previous year and a half didn't derail me because I was actively, daily, taking care of myself.

All I need to take care of is today. All I need to do is me. For today, I will eat healthy. I will move my body. I will not indulge in trigger foods or trigger alcohol. Those start the emotional downturn.

Maybe I needed this stuck time to refocus. Who knows.

I want my mojo back. It's all up to me.

[gowalking 10,790]

I'm here JWM, How can I help?

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I'm here JWM, How can I help?

Oh, you help every time you post. This thread in particular has been an anchor for me. Real life, real people, real problems, real solutions.

I need to get honest about the self medicating I am doing with food and alcohol and "occasional" pain pills for arthritis. It's been an escape. A way to numb out. No, not at crisis level or even noticeable by anybody except me. No binging. Just hiding out in the movie theater every week, sometimes twice a week, because they serve food (crapcorn by the bucket) and wine. And taking a pain pill mid day not because I've walked a 5k or climbed hills and stairs at a state park, but because I want to feel relaxed and not anxious by evening.

It's time to get real. These behaviors are keeping me stuck and they are dangerous. I've shared this with my OA and CODA groups and now with you here. Other travelers on the path to wholeness.

I can't get better in my isolated bubble.

I'm watching a dear friend lose a little more of her 20-year old son each day to severe alcoholism. It's smacking me upside my head.

Just be who you are. And I will do the same.

You all inspire me.

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

:lol::)OMGOSH I AM SO EXCITED I WENT TO A STREET EVENT LAST NIGHT but everybody has seen my same little outfits that I have been wearing since I lost weight , so I had to go buy one , I usually don't do black anymore because I am not having to hide my weight to make me look smaller , but I went first to of course the plus size now mind you I can wear a 12_14 in Women's , however I saw these pants that I thought would not be able to fit because they were in the jr section but I wanted to try anyway so I did THEY FIT A SIZE 17 JR I didn't ever even wear that in my younger years can you tell how HAPPY & Excited I am Lol.

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

Shucks I hit the send button before I could post the pic, of me wearing a medium shirt & size 17 JUNIORS , SO HERE IT IS , also look at those bones can actually see them because they are not covered by so much flesh Lol, you know how people say they can see you've lost weight by your face , I don't see it when of course looking in the mirror but WE ALL KNOW WHEN WE LOOK AT PICTURES WE CAN TELL.

[gowalking 10,790]

Looking good!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Debbie you look great!

[Bandista 7,466]

Just catching up on this thread -- not sure why it hasn't been coming up for me but glad that people are posting here in our little sub-group. We are having a beautiful summer here, which is so welcome after a long hard winter. Gardening a lot and quite active which feels good. I'm having anxiety, though, and trying to learn how not to anticipate situations and get tense in advance and generally how not to let myself get overwhelmed. A lot of aging parent issues, teenager at home, friend with ALS, needy neighbors. I have to go back to choosing myself first, seeing to it that my needs are met FIRST....did I take my Vitamins and BP medication, how is my sleep, am I having too much tea, how about alcohol, do I need to stretch, etc. I'm really better at taking care of other people and need to selfish-up again.

Have been dealing with some employer harassment issues that are so complicated I had to get a therapist (guy is crazy). Being forced to stand up for myself in a major way and not be fearful. It has taken a lot out of me. There are the issues of my weight loss, looking and feeling good and then along came the inappropriate attention. Such a blow to my professional integrity and self-esteem but I will be stronger in the long run for getting in touch with this anger that I feel.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Time for a happy post from me. Since my therapy appointment this week, I've been checking in with my feelings throughout the day. It's made a big difference in my attitude. I've cleaned up my food, stopped numbing out, and I feel so much better.

This head work is really work. But I don't ever want to go back to the way I lived before.

Happy Thursday, friends!

[jfc193 719]

JustWatchMe thanks for sharing during this difficult time in your life, I deeply appreciate your willingness to share.

I am in the middle of my work required 5 year physical and so far doing well.

Since I am diabetic I have a new more cautious internist, My blood work last January showed my AC1 at 8 which was the first time in 6 years that it was over 6.5 but the latest AC1 on 8/5 was 5.8. Blood pressure was 121/79.

Seems interesting that my Vitamin A , B2, B6, B12 and D were all low and I have to up my Vitamins, for me I had forgotten since I do not eat as much as I used to I need to make sure I take enough Vitamins in on a daily basis.

Certainly I am healthier today and am slowly working to reach my goal.

[Bandista 7,466]

Good for you taking care of your nutritional needs, Joe, and to have that data to compare and make adjustments, etc. I am going to seek out some Bs in tiny tab form to help with stress and anxiety.

And Just Watch Me, happy for you! I agree that checking in with feelings is really helpful; whatever the feelings are, they are not so consuming when I view them objectively.

It's very beautiful here in NH just now. Only problem is every one knows this and we are overcome with visitors, events, etc. It's nice to see cousins, etc., and lots of picnics and fun but, yikes, need some serious downtime to recover from so many people.

We have a small orchard and today we are setting up the cider press --- it was a good year for the fruit trees. Only thing better than August is September. Did any one see the Super Moon last night? Wow! Star-gazing helps me keep things in perspective.