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way to go Bandista... that is something on my list to do. though i need to find some one what will want to do it with me :)..

4 days and counting and i'll be on my way to see my mum. :)

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Thanks so much @@readysetg070113 and it's easy, really -- cause we are awesome! Happy travels, Irish!

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hi all technology problems have kept me off the website not sure if the problem was me or my new phone lol anyway I am back and missed you all

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Have we started a Banders #7 yet...don't wanna get lost :)

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Not that I know of but any one can if they want just make sure & let us know I am not sure how many posts or replies before we should start another one , you can also always find out how CG does or did it .

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I need a pep talk. I'm hungry and drinking Water instead of eating because I'm done eating for the day. But the pep talk is for my mixed blessing NSV today. I went to Goodwill to try on clothes because I really have only a handful of items in my closet that fit right now. I had no luck today finding blouses, but I found a nice pair of jeans which I need. The bad part is I looked down and saw my thighs are now very wrinkled right above the knees. This just happened this week. I've lost a lot of weight and I am happy happy happy but the shock of seeing those thighs wrinkled so far down on my legs just made me gasp. My upper thighs have been saggy baggy for about a month. Most of you know I'm going through the early stages of a divorce. My anniversary is coming up and I'm emotionally a mess. I'm happy for my weight loss and very motivated right now but the jumble of feelings sometimes just knocks me flat. When I don't eat the feelings like I used to it can be almost unbearable. I'm going out to an OA meeting now. I need to get out of the house and reset my brain. Thanks for being here. This place is where I know somebody understands.

Edited by JustWatchMe

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@@JustWatchMe , just remember the young ones have procedures to have thigh gap we have it naturally LOL because we are putting in our work to lose weight be proud of those sagging things we have worked hard to have them.

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@@JustWatchMe don't let the wrinkles get you down! You are at the gates of Onederland and doing beautifully -- nearly 100 pounds gone, gone, gone. Whole new life. I just had my 53rd birthday over the weekend. There are things about my body that are only going in one direction, lol, but the spirit is boundless and I'm so grateful for that -- the having myself back part. I was there all along but I know you know what that feels like, to have recovered a true sense of self.

Don't let that anniversary date throw you for a loop. Yesterday was a Monday, the weather has turned and there are lots of reasons for the blahs, but step back for a sec and give yourself three cheers. Actually the cheering thing is interesting. I watched a Ted Talk a while back about faking it 'til making it -- i.e. pretending to love exercise until one day, oh my god, it's not pretend anymore. Anyway, the example given for rewiring that part of the brain is to raise up the arms like some one crossing a finish line. Yippee! Opens up the chest, head is picked up -- yippee! Maybe you need these to help you Celebrate yourself and all you've done. You are amazing -- yay, you!

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Shapewear is a new term but women have been stuffing themselves into undergarments forever. Last week, prompted by this thread, I tried on a variety of options. Oh my god, it was hysterical. But I did come away with a corset -- the wear your own bra kind of thing that flattens the belly. It has about fifty hooks and eyes on the front and, while there is no whalebone, it sure feels like it. I was definitely sitting and standing up straighter! Wore it out to a concert and had a blast dancing in the aisles to salsa music. Couldn't wait to get it off again later, but it sure did feel great to a) not have a Winnie-the-Pooh belly anymore and B) not even a sign of the old paunch. I don't hate my soft belly but do plan to do more core work this winter to tone up the abdominal area.

http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2012/02/07/1/301/3019466/cover.xxxlarge/i/Vintage-Corset-Ads.jpg

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@@Bandista, thank you. As soon as I can get away from my desk and take a walk outside I'm going to raise my arms up like you said.

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And I'll try to look up that Ted Talk too.

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I need a pep talk. I'm hungry and drinking Water instead of eating because I'm done eating for the day. But the pep talk is for my mixed blessing NSV today. I went to Goodwill to try on clothes because I really have only a handful of items in my closet that fit right now. I had no luck today finding blouses, but I found a nice pair of jeans which I need. The bad part is I looked down and saw my thighs are now very wrinkled right above the knees. This just happened this week. I've lost a lot of weight and I am happy happy happy but the shock of seeing those thighs wrinkled so far down on my legs just made me gasp. My upper thighs have been saggy baggy for about a month. Most of you know I'm going through the early stages of a divorce. My anniversary is coming up and I'm emotionally a mess. I'm happy for my weight loss and very motivated right now but the jumble of feelings sometimes just knocks me flat. When I don't eat the feelings like I used to it can be almost unbearable. I'm going out to an OA meeting now. I need to get out of the house and reset my brain. Thanks for being here. This place is where I know somebody understands.

I don't know that this is a pep talk. What I can tell you is how much I understand how you feel and what's going on in your head. I was so unhappy with how my body was looking that I started seeing the therapist because of it. I've been seeing her since late last year and I'm just now starting to get comfortable enough that I can at least recognize myself in the mirror. I also still stand there and stare at myself when I'm naked and try to take in the wrinkled skin that is my new reality.

I took the biggest risk possible in my mind by dating again. I haven't had to make the hard decision yet to show anyone what I look like under my clothes. That's still in my future and may never come to pass. I am learning to value myself as I did not for much of my life and part of that value system for me at least is that he will have to be a truly worthy man for me to become physical with him.

I'm also working on deciding if plastic surgery is in my future or not. Again...if I do it, it has to be for the right reasons and I'm just not there yet.

I'm glad you went to an OA meeting. Anything is better than reaching for the food when we are going through difficult times. This journey is so much more than about weight loss. That's the physical part of it but we all have emotional issues that led us to become obese. Those issues are alot harder to deal with than losing weight.

I know you feel very vulnerable right now and imperfections are difficult to handle. Please know that you have great support here on this forum and we're all behind you as you tackle the tough job of living this new life we have all found. You know we've all had good and bad days...or even weeks/months. This is a journey of ups and downs and we're with you to Celebrate the good and support you during the difficult. I'd be happy to talk on the phone if you want. Just PM me and we can exchange numbers.

Liz

Edited by gowalking

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@@JustWatchMe I understand what you are going through. You are vulnerable right now, your going through something that is an end and a beginning and you are finding, redefining and shaping yourself. Those are amazing undertakings, and when we are vulnerable we tend to be harsher on ourselves and notice our flaws or what we perceive to be flaws, when what we really need is extra TLC.

So let me give you a BIG {{{HUG}}} and tell you that you are beautiful, wrinkles dimples what ever all of it. You are an amazing strong person and though you might not feel like it now there is someone out there who will see all of your amazing qualities and love you no matter what!

I went through a divorce after 20 years of marriage, we were together from the time I was 15 and I was devastated at the time. I was harsh on myself, incredibly harsh on myself. I was doing lots of negative thinking who would want me now...some old woman with three kids over weight, scratch that obeastly and I could go on...but you know what?

It took a few friends from work to put me out there to wake me up to realize the best "revenge" (that's what I wanted at that time) was to live your best life and be happy. So I dressed it up and put the make up on and I got out there and I forced myself to meet new people and "date". I thought men would find me gross...but you know what the opposite was true!! It was a huge ego boost, and then I met the man I would marry...even though I swore I would NEVER get married again..I wasn't sure I could love again...but you know what I did and I have never been so happy!

YOU my friend are amazing, don't stress the wrinkles or the stretch marks or any thing because those are your badges of courage and honor...and even plastic surgery comes with it's own set of scars. Wear them proudly because you have and you are making the life you want! Healthy and HAPPY and you deserve nothing less!!!

xoxoxox

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@@gowalking and @@lisacaron, thank you both so much. You both nailed it. This is such a hard time but SO much better than when I was numbing myself with food every day. I've started to do little girly things like get a manicure, etc. Just self care really. I think the shock of seeing my newest battle scars the same week that I'm struggling with the end of my 23 year marriage was just the perfect storm.

You've both helped me immensely.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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