Ok, y'all. I just got home a few hours ago after 30 hours at ValleyCare Medical Center in Pleasanton, CA. Most of my stomach is missing, but I think the surgeon might have left a bulldog puppy inside me, because why does my stomach sound like it's snoring?!?! Seriously...there are some extremely weird noises coming from that region.

So, a little info about my surgery, in case it can help anyone else out.

NIGHT BEFORE: I have been on a clear liquid diet for 2 days. The night before the surgery I put the scopolamine patch behind my ear. I didn't drink anything after midnight, knowing that my surgery was at 10 AM the next day. At 7:00 AM Friday, I took "Emend", a crazy, miniature pill that stops nausea in chemotherapy patients. Guys, I have not yet had nausea- I don't know why all docs don't rx this, but I will let you know that ONE PILL cost $99, and my ins only covered $49- my cost was $50.

However, between the scop patch, the Emend, & IV administered reglan AND zofran, I did not once heave or feel like I was going to retch. I took all of my regular meds before bed on thursday.

Day of:

1. It took 2 tries by an inexperienced nurse in my right hand to get the IV in- didn't work. 1 try by an experienced nurse, and it went in the left hand no problem. This was one of the most stressful parts for me, because I hate needles & stuff. So, my right hand is one big bruise, left hand is fine. They said I came in dehydrated and must have given my 10 bags of saline in 30 hours.

2. The doctor made 5 incisions, 3 tiny and 2 larger. The large one just above my bely button to the right (my right) is the one that she pulled my stomach out of. Gross. I have no stitches, just a bunch of glue. I've been told numerous times to leave the glue alone and don't rub it! Just pat it dry gently after a shower or use the blow dryer on a cool setting to dry them.

3. I was wheeled to the OR and then got myself on the table. Last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist telling me, you're going to go to sleep now. The next moment (I thought), I woke up in the recovery room. The only thing I could say was "pain!" and they hooked me up to a PCA pump with dilaudid. Dilaudid is a pretty hardcore narcotic. I was allowed to push the button every 10 minutes, and I did, almost all night.

4. My amazing fiancee slept on a chair, because he wanted to. He wouldn't leave me, and I am so blessed to be with someone so wonderful. I was up and walking as soon as they would let me, and Brian always came with me for support. I walked several times last night and this morning, and a few since getting home.

5. I was freaking delirious all last night- between no food or Water, the general anesthesia, and the IV drugs, MAN OH MAN, I was trying to text people and I kept typing gibberish or falling asleep in the middle of the text. Eventually, my partner took my phone away. I was saying crazy stuff and felt so darn good, I was sure they HADN'T done the surgery (they did though). I was extremely lucky to have a private room, as well. Things just kept working out for me!

6. I had to have several injections between last night and this morning, including antibiotics & blood thinners. The used the tiniest needles and even I, a huge wuss, didn't think that they hurt.

I guess more or less, it was a textbook case. Easy & fast (for my surgeon) Oddly enough, my CNA for the night was my surgeon's very first sleeve procedure several years ago. She told me she started out at 400# and is now 183, 2 years later. She looked fab. That was encouraging!

Now, I am at home. I don't know what to do with myself. I am supposed to be on full liquids, but none of them taste right to me. I've been sipping on some decaf tea. I know I'm not going to be able to get in 60 grams of Protein a day for a while. I am trying, but I think I only consumed about 300 cals today. I tried my beloved Premier Protein shakes, and they were SO GROSS to me!! Shoot! Gotta find something else. I'm kind of listless- really tired but can't lay down ANY MORE. I've been laying on my back for 2 days almost! I'm not hungry at all, but I do feel really thirsty. I'm dreaming of a nice tall glass of iced tea with lemon....in due time, I'll have that! Just not today.

So, thanks for reading if you made it to the end. I'm pretty out of it still, I hope this all makes sense. I feel very lucky to not be in agony or nauseous. Prayers for healing are accepted!! All questions will be answered, esp. if you PM me.

Congratulations on your surgery. I remember all the gurgling in my stomach, it went on for weeks post-op. I ate almost nothing that 1st week post-op, maybe half a Popsicle a day. I wasn't worried about food. Shoot, I was 200 lbs overweight.... there wasn't much chance of me starving to death for months!!! :-P My only focus was getting enough fluids.

I'm a side sleeper and couldn't sleep on my side for about 3 weeks. I had to roll up a comforter into a log so I could sleep raised up like in the hospital bed.

Good luck, every day will get a little better. I was hurting like Hell that 1st week, but by day 10 I was pain free and back at work.

@@joatsaint your videos are funny! Frankensleeve!

Congratulations on a surgery well done. I just had mine may 21, 2014. Had a week of liquids before surgery...YUK. I was supposed to be at the hospital wed at 8:10. So my husband and I leave the house in plenty if time. On the way to the hospital I get a call on my cell- it's the nurse and she says the doctors first patient got cancelled to get hither soon as I can and we will hurry you among. Ok do that gets me a little worked up ( as though I wasn't nervous enough). I arrive at the hospital and get checked in then proceed to OR. They tell my husband to leave and they will call him back later( didn't like that much). He's the best!!

Anyhow I get changed into the lovely gown they provide you with . Must have gone to the bathroom 3 times ( so nervous) must have said my name and birthday 500 times talked to all the nurses , anesthesia doc, the doc signed my belly and away he went. They called my hubby back and I got a precious hug and he prayed with me. I had gotten a shit to relax me and that is all I remember. Don't remember being in the operation room - or moving from the bed to the table.

I woke up in recovery somewhat - after they got my pain regulated they moved me the my room( which was private and very spacious and very quiet). I received a pca with dialysis which worked wonders. I had a hysterectomy this past August and had morphin and it made me itch like a crazy person. I was so thankful that did not happen this time.

Get in the room and my sweet husband was there- I could not for the life of me stay awake. Coming out of anesthesia SUCKs!!!

I slept a lot till they woke me up to walk- ye haw!! I walked every 4 hours. I was up to a half mike when I got discharged. Went in at 8 Wed morning and left at 4:30 Thursday. All in all it went way better than I thought. I had myself worked up so bad .

I am now home still on liquids ) Puck) not hungry every Protein drink is gross- bit getting 64 ounces of Fluid or 60 grams of protein - this is my 3 rd day post op . Can't poop either:)). Any suggestions??

Overall so thankful it's over and so thankful it was not as terrible as done of the post ive read on here.

Thanks for listening. Out sprouts !!

Moving the bowels becomes less and less. Your body is using everything and liquid diet kind of causes some constipation esp at first. Kinda of.funky but its what happens. I maybe go every couple days now-surgery date was Nov 12th, so 6 months post op. Loss of 68 lbs so far and shrinking literally daily it seems. Every once in while if it feels like things are getting backed up I have some oatmeal and it helps. Time being, just drink water. Good luck and congrats to you both. The journey is amazing. Sometimes not fun, hardest part for me was the first 3 months. Hang in there and just know that the phases help you, I felt very restrictive. I am doing.better and the food choices I make now are much improved. Smooth sailing now.

They called my hubby back and I got a precious hug and he prayed with me. I had gotten a **** to relax me

I am so sorry for being rude but it's amusing to me to imagine, madlib style, what might have gotten removed by the censor software here!

Seriously though, for both you and the OP I am glad your surgeries went fine and you are doing well!

My stomach was loud for months, too! Sometimes it still sounds like Chewbacca having a loud political debate with an elephant seal!

The noises are so annoying at first.

Two months out I tried eating half a sandwhich thin for the first time. I hadn't had anything bread like yet. My sleeve would not shut up for an hour. Thank God I was at home. It sounded like I was hiccupung kind of but I wasn't.