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Do you miss anything about being Fat? (You're Old Body)



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Thanks for posting this article - I love it! I'm pre op for sleeve (but post op for band, but never got "thin" with the band). The first item on her list - power - is something I think about a lot, and something I worry will lead me to self sabotage if I don't stay conscious of it.

I experienced abuse as a child and I yearned to grow up and get big enough so that I could not be physically dominated and hurt. I know I don't need size, especially fat, to protect me anymore, but psychologically I do think that my size gives me a sense of invulnerability.

Like the woman who wrote the article I plan to focus on building strength and muscle as a way to combat this issue. I should think about self defense classes too. Not so much that I'll need it, but I think it will help me feel safe and comfortable at a smaller size.

I also love her perspective overall - very positive. I think it's important for us to love our fat selves, even while striving to become thinner.

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I miss my girls. I was a 42JJ they have now deflated to 38J. They are no longer attractive with the loose skin and now noticeable stretch marks.

I miss my smooth thick thighs! I never had these dimple or cottage cheese looking thighs before :(.

I miss my full arms. Now when I wave at someone it continues all the way up my arm lol.

But what I have gained is so worth all of it LIFE

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My surgery is 3 weeks away, I have wondered what I will miss and what I am ready to never experience again.

I just got back from a business trip that included a 12 hr flight on a 747 to Asia, I fly economy of course, and the economy lavs are super tiny. My body brushed either side to sit on the toilet, I couldn't bend over far enough to wipe the front much less the back, it was humiliating and more than a little gross. I prayed that I wouldn't have to have a poo, you know? LOL. I never want to be in that situation ever again. Of course I had to ask for a seat belt extender on a few of the legs, And I was terrified that I was encroaching on my row mates seat. I never want to be in that situation ever again. I could go on about being a gargantuan women in a sea of tiny Asian people, but that is just unnecessary.

What do I think I will miss? Now I don't expect to become Miss USA after surgery, but I have joked in the past that no one ever wonders who I slept with to get where I am in my career. Because I work in male dominated field, I am often the only woman in the room or in a travel group. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier/different if I had a hot bod, but then I remind myself that these guys treat you like a compatriot because they don't think of you that way and that makes me happy. So I wonder, if I lose the weight, will that change? Will they see me more as a woman than as a skilled professional? So I guess I might miss my fat coat...

Edited by SnohoGal98296

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Thanks feedback everyone!

I have a love hate relationship with my body, Sometimes I really love the way my fat hides me from the rest of the world, The way my ass look's in a pair of jeans, How my breast make the perfect cleavage,and my thick strong arms.

But then I think of all the thing's I really hate and I guess they really do outweigh the thing's I like.

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I don't miss shopping in the tiny plus sized section of the store that was mostly old lady clothes.

I don't miss my thighs chaffing together.

I don't miss the boob sweat or underboob rash.

I don't miss huffing and puffing on family walks.

I don't miss being the fat mom at every event.

I don't miss the dread of running into someone I've not seen in years cuz I'd gained so much weight.

I don't miss having to have every hair in place and makeup done every time I left the house because I didn't want to be the sloppy fat lady.

I don't miss sweating uncontrollably doing every day tasks.

I don't miss feeling cramped in a bathroom stall, turning sideways going down an aisle or squeezing past people and still bumping them.

I don't miss having to request a table over a booth or if one was not available, squeezing in, belly and boobs resting against the table.

I don't miss being unable to paint my own toenails and breathing at the same time.

I don't miss wearing all black all the time cuz no one would be able to tell that I was fat if I did that. (Eye roll)

I don't miss making excuses to get out of doing stuff because being so fat made me so tired...

I could go on forever. Nope. I don't miss a thing.

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Lipstick Lady...You said you don't miss squeezing past people and still bumping them. I had to chuckle a bit because I still find myself doing that! (I don't bump into them of course) More than once I have squeezed past someone unnecessarily. I forget I am a lot smaller than I was this time last year. I can get into tighter situations with ease and don't need to suck it in!!! It is part of the head game, takes a while for the head to play catch up..

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Nope. NOTHING.

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My surgery is 3 weeks away, I have wondered what I will miss and what I am ready to never experience again.

I just got back from a business trip that included a 12 hr flight on a 747 to Asia, I fly economy of course, and the economy lavs are super tiny. My body brushed either side to sit on the toilet, I couldn't bend over far enough to wipe the front much less the back, it was humiliating and more than a little gross. I prayed that I wouldn't have to have a poo, you know? LOL. I never want to be in that situation ever again. Of course I had to ask for a seat belt extender on a few of the legs, And I was terrified that I was encroaching on my row mates seat. I never want to be in that situation ever again. I could go on about being a gargantuan women in a sea of tiny Asian people, but that is just unnecessary.

What do I think I will miss? Now I don't expect to become Miss USA after surgery, but I have joked in the past that no one ever wonders who I slept with to get where I am in my career. Because I work in male dominated field, I am often the only woman in the room or in a travel group. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier/different if I had a hot bod, but then I remind myself that these guys treat you like a compatriot because they don't think of you that way and that makes me happy. So I wonder, if I lose the weight, will that change? Will they see me more as a woman than as a skilled professional? So I guess I might miss my fat coat...

Looking forward to reading about the changes you experience. :)

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This only things I miss slightly are my boobs and having enough padding on my bottom so that it's not uncomfortable sitting on my bony butt.

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My rear is a millions time smaller than it was, but I guess I am lucky to say it is still far from boney. Maybe when I get closer to goal?....LOL ( I am not related to either Kim Kardashian or Jennifer Lopez so I believe it will eventually disappear)

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I might miss my curves but hey I can buy them back :)

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no idea what it's like to live in a normal body. basically my identity!.

@@HalloweenBaby24

i can understand/relate to your above comment to how will you feel once you are/will/do continue to lose weight

being heavy was your identity??? Been there, done that :angry:

time for a change!!!!

i don't know what the heck i would/could possibly regret about having surgery :)

common response to that statement is "I wish i had done this (WLS) years earlier :)

i no longer take my insulin/diabetes meds/high blood pressure, CPAP :)

physically, mentally, - its amazing how i feell :)

i have so much confidence :)

this is/was completely necessary for me!!!! no question/alternative/

my last desparate/chance for success with weight loss

I'm sure you know/realize that many/most/all of us have taken off the weight

you look like a smart cookie :)

you made the smart decision to have the sleeve..........you now have to follow through by eating and drinking correctly til you reach goal

then with maintennance - your hard work continues

you must continue to work hard/follow ALL the rules et al for the rest of your life

in our "old lives" some/many/all of us have been successful in losing a lot of weight :)

but many/most/me regained their weight plus!!!!

the sleeve will "HELP" you - but YOU must do a lot of hard work

"you" work with the sleeve and it will work for/with you :)

best wishes for August :)

good luck to you

kathy

Edited by proudgrammy

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On a silly note, I am also going to miss my boobs and booty! The comment that you can buy back your curves has me laughing!

On a serious note, I'm pre-op, so I can't speak for how it will be after the surgery but I imagine I'm going to miss being a confident, strong, fat woman. It's taken me years and years to get to self-acceptance and certainly loving yourself when you're fat is a fairly radical thing to do in this sociey and I like being radical! But I love my life so much that I want it to last as long as possible and so here I am.

Will I miss being obese? No. But would I trade in the lessons in compassion, self-acceptance and acceptance of others that I've learned along the way? No. I have plenty of thin family and friends who learned those lessons in other ways but this was my path and I'll always be grateful for it.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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