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even after all this time... struggling with the whole "you eat like a bird"



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I'm amazed and irritated at the things people will say to me about my eating too. And okay, offended. That they mean well doesn't much change this, manners and decorum and boundaries are still expected, at least by me.

Recently my sister who knows all about my WLS has been telling me I should be eating more, pushing food on me, talking to me about her "knowledge" of how much our bodies need more things that I'm eating. She's advocating large portions of veggies, little treats, drinks I can't have, and lots of carb-laden starches I choose not to eat just now. I've told her my eating plan and keep reiterating the doc, nut, and RN's advice, and she of course persists, all the while complaining vociferously that she's just GOT to lose 30 pounds (yes, she's overweight). I hate that she keeps doing it and she's not any sort of medical or dietary trained person - just pushy and likes to know all. If it weren't so irritating I'd have laughed at replaying the whole thing yet again the other day. I've decided now I'm just not going to do anything to means sharing meal time with her for a long while.

It's not her or anyone else's business to "fix" my eating! And hey, for once it's not even broken. One more "Have some...." or "Is that all you're eating?" or "That's not good for you to eat so little!" and I swear I'll lose it. All these years I've been not just obese, but "morbidly obese" she's championed any eating plan I attempted, this one included. And this just feel like sabatage. It is definitely NOT okay.

CowgirlJane - you're right on the mark with this one!

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I get this when I go out to eat because I can only handle a few bites and everything else gets boxed to go. If my boyfriend orders and appetizer I generally dont get as may questions I think because people assume I filled up on that. But otherwise I get a lot of is your food ok, is something wrong sort of response from the servers, which I guess are doing their job to make sure the food is ok, but it does get annoying at times.

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screw em. you live in your body not them. who gives permission for others to critique your looks, your body, your food or anything else about you! be happy and do your thing, darlin. love sara

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Love it when an old thread is revived. This was 3 month ago. .. I still say...leave me alone. . My body! My bmi remains at 23... I pray that I make this same claim many years from now. But for now.. I cling tenaciously to a "normal" weight. I know I have sisters of the same family. ..The people with the disease of obesity with symptoms currently under control.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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