Feeling Discouraged and Rejected by Family......Need Advice

[ho11ieberry06 39]

In 2012 I started the process of getting surgery. At that time I was going to use my insurance and, as most of you know, there are many hoops to jump through for a 6 month period of time before you even get approved for surgery. Well, I did everything that was required but I wasn't able to lose the weight so I decided to just try to lose it on my own. Even though I was going to go through my insurance and use a Dr. in the U.S. I still researched having surgery in Mexico.

Now fast forward 2 years and I haven't lost any weight and I'm 20 pounds heavier then when I started. So I made up my mind that I really want to have this surgery and I've done a lot more research of having it done in Mexico and will be paying out of pocket. I really don't want to travel by myself so I met with my sister and told her that I was planning to have the surgery in Mexico and I really wanted her to come with me (she already knew about me wanting surgery from 2 years ago and even came with me to some of my appointments) so I felt comfortable asking for her support. She kind of freaked out when I told her and said she needed to talk to her husband about it. I gave her all the materials and research I've done for her to read and told her that I felt comfortable with it. But I understood her reluctance since it was her first time hearing about the Mexico part. Anyway, she has taken 3 weeks to get back to me and finally this morning she called me and told me that her husband doesn't want me to go to Mexico and he doesn't want her to go with me. My heart sank! I have been there for her and her family whenever they needed me. I've taken time off work to care for her when she had foot surgery, to watch her kids, dogs, house etc. and she can't/won't support me with this?

I'm feeling rejected and discouraged. Has anyone been in this situation that when your family found out you were going to have surgery in Mexico they won't support you? And if so, how did you handle it? Just need some uplifting advice.

Holly

[tami88 73]

Hi Holly,

I personally kept it limited to a few people. The people who love and support you unconditionally are the ones you want in your life.

They could just be worried for you but at the end of the day it's your life your journey. Stay confident in your choice.

You got this! You'll be looking back soon knowing you made the best choice for YOU!

Cheers!

[BigGirlPanties 957]

That hurts my heart...

first that she is not helping/standing by you

secondly because she has to ask her husbands permission!!!

I can understand them being worried... maybe they need to access this website because many people talk about how clean and wonderful the situations were in Mexico...

Is is a money issue for them?

good luck...so sorry...hopefully someone will stand by you!

[Carlotta1 401]

Why did u decide to have it in Mexico versus using your insurance to pay. Tell your sister exactly how u feel. You have helped so much and now u need her help ..ask her to reconsider. Since u have tried so many times to lose your wright and you did not get any results, the wls is a great tool to get u going,

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I'm sorry your sister won't support you but she's most likely doing it out of a position of love. My brother called me once to bail him out of jail for a DUI but I just couldn't do it. I love him and care for him so much but I wouldn't be showing love to him if I helped him get out a situation that he deserved to be in because of bad choices. Kind of a tough love situation.

Your sister probably feels like this is a huge risk and dangerous and that she is showing you love by not "enabling" you to hurt yourself. I'm not agreeing with her, I'm just guessing this might be some of her logic.

Best wishes on however it works out.

Ginger

[ho11ieberry06 39]

I totally understood them being worried too. I even gave her the link to this site and this specific forum so they could read up more on it. Money is not an issue for them and even if it was, I told my sister I would drive her. My heart is hurt too! Thanks for your kind response.

That hurts my heart...

first that she is not helping/standing by you

secondly because she has to ask her husbands permission!!!

I can understand them being worried... maybe they need to access this website because many people talk about how clean and wonderful the situations were in Mexico...

Is is a money issue for them?

good luck...so sorry...hopefully someone will stand by you!

[Travelmego 235]

Explain to her how you feel emotionally after you have done so much for them. Then ask her if she (and he) would at least be willing to listen past their first reaction. That will put them on the spot of at least having to hear you out. Then find out exactly what her (and his) objections are. Listen and repeat their objections for clarification while writing them down. Use something like, "Ok I hear your objection that Tijuana is not safe for Americans." That way the feel they are being heard as well. Get all their initial objections, and then do research and present them with counter arguments. One by one. Be prepared for followup objections and repeat the process.

Edited May 14, 2014 by Travelmego

[Mississippi Girl 124]

I went alone. Inbox me if you want details. Good luck!'

[Movinon 33]

I cannot tell you how similar our situations are. I cannot get any family support to go to Mexico, and I mentioned it to my sister as well. At first she was all for it, until I got serious about making plans for her to go with me. Her husband told her absolutely not, you will be killed or worse over there...

I have decided I am going to have my sleeve surgery, alone if I have to. No one knows how it feels to live in my unhealthy body day to day but me. People are so afraid to take risk, but this is my risk to take.

I wish you the best.......

Q

[Movinon 33]

How was it going alone ?

[Susysleever 265]

I've seen parts of the US that look like a third world country.

[akcrawford72 14]

I would love to help you. I had my surgery almost a year and a half ago with dr. Ponce de leon on TJ. I am still at my goal weight and feel amazing. I don't even know you but if you paid my ticket to meet you in San Diego and travel to TJ with you I would support you through the entire thing.

[mzjay 30]

I totally understand how you feel my family was not supportive of me having the surgery ESPECIALLY in Mexico. I live in San Diego so we hear the worst of the worst about mexico. But I was comfortable because I researched for 2 years I finally did it 4/25/14 and I'm feeling great. I will say my family has been more supportive now that they see I am alive and doing well. I went alone I didn't want the stress of others people's worries. It is YOUR choice remember that.

[Movinon 33]

I may take you up on that I have recently found another place just south of El Paso, Tx that would be driving distance, and they do in house financing that is very liberal with a down payment. So for those of you out there that think there are no choices for you, check out belightweight.com they are even looking at credit scores in the low 500's.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Whether you get your surgery in the United States, Mexico, Belgium, or London, you are still put together with the surgical e quivalent of office supples: glue, tape, staples, and floss. You will be able to to think, speak, and walk post-op. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you good luck and good health.