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Selfish?

Derouin4

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Derouin4    30

Derouin4
Posted

My surgery date is May 27th. My husband is really trying to be supportive. His father passed away on the 8th of May after a year long battle with liver cancer and I am feeling slightly selfish. My surgery is now 16 days away. My mother thinks I should push it back 2 months, but I really don't want to. Selfish?

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rome    156

rome
Posted

I am sorry for your loss :-( Losing a parent (or anyone) is a hard thing. Grief is necessary yet there is no timetable on the stages of grief. I'm not sure waiting 2 months would make a difference. I think you are able to be a support at anytime. So, my thought is....not selfish.

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Kelly Gonzalez    52

Kelly Gonzalez
Posted

Sorry for your husbands loss. I think you should go ahead with it.You are here, and you have to think of your own health. Good luck, and blessings on your decision.

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reading mom    85

reading mom
Posted

My thought is to proceed with surgery as scheduled. Yes, in a way this is selfish, but the paradox is the better you care for yourself the more you have to offer others. As you get healthier everyone in your circle benefits.

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Miss Mac    6,262

Miss Mac
Posted

If you had a baby due, you wouldn't delay the delivery two months. Not selfish.

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1Day1Life4Now    882

1Day1Life4Now
Posted

Delaying surgery does not change the grief nor the fact that your father-in-law has passed. Keep your surgery date as you and your hubby need to focus on being healthy so your life can be extended in a healthy and fit fashion. Good luck and sorry for your loss.

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mlm28    27

mlm28
Posted

Sorry for your loss. No, you are not. In my opinion it's good to do it as scheduled. Good luck!

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countrygirl    84

countrygirl
Posted

My surgery date is May 27th. My husband is really trying to be supportive. His father passed away on the 8th of May after a year long battle with liver cancer and I am feeling slightly selfish. My surgery is now 16 days away. My mother thinks I should push it back 2 months, but I really don't want to. Selfish?

Do the surgery don't delay any longer, my husband had 3 heart attacks on July 3,4&5 my surgery was on July22,2013 I thought about cancelling but husband said no do the surgery & I don't regret it because stress from any situation can cause more weight gain. It's your health on the line...

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pinkbarbie    101

pinkbarbie
Posted

Talk to your husband. Ask for his opinion. You and him are the ones that this affects.

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SusinMichigan    76

SusinMichigan
Posted

Everyone grieves differently, I was in a state of shock when my father died, it got worse and much worse as time went on, before it got better. I would check with hubby and see what he'd like. But no you would not be the least bit selfish if you went ahead of it. Hubby will probably still support you going on with it.

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TovaNJ    11

TovaNJ
Posted

Not selfish. I would proceed as planned.

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
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