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How to prepare your spouse for lifestyle change



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How have you prepared your spouse? This is going to be a lifestyle change for them. I have read every thing I could get my hands on and feel prepared, but..I have a feeling he is just not understanding how big of a lifestyle change this will be.

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I've done my best to prepare my partners, and they've both been very supportive, They have stopped bringing food into the house that I can't have (which was a huge issue for a long time, but once I started the surgery prep, they really stepped up to the plate)

Other than that, I haven't really done a whole lot to prepare them other than talk over their concerns and misgivings. They are both so active and involved in outdoor activities (cycling, etc) that my losing weight will enable me to keep up with them, and hopefully bring us closer together. They are mostly looking at all of the things we would like to do and can't because I feel held back because of my weight, and how much more we'll be able to do once I start losing and get more into the fitness groove.

(the take-out/eating out is the one thing they both understand has to stop...that was a bonding method for us before. Have a stressful week? Order Chinese. Or pizza.) But they've been part of the process from the beginning, asking a lot of questions and attending the sessions with the nutritionist. They're as prepared as they can be without actually going through the surgery themselves. Hopefully it's enough.

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My husband has been amazing so far. We talk about it quite often. He was very apprehensive at first. Not because of insecurity, but because of the risks. He is hanging in there with me and all of emotions LOL! I can't wait to just get it over with. He knows that this is a huge change that will rock both of our lives and the lives of our children. For the better of course! I am really looking forward to seeing how this will improve our relationship, especially physically. We have a very healthy relationship now so I can only imagine. ;)

Edited by mhenne97

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My hubby has gotten On-the-job training. He cooks a lot of our suppers and he sees what I can eat and what I can't and he's learning. The main problem is that he is a plate cleaner.... he eats everything on his plate and then cleans mine up too. He was raised to never leave anything on his plate so he doesn't know how to quit eating until its all gone. Why do parents do that to their kids??? Anyway, my hubby is seeing the weight loss and he's good with the eating plan and the results. When we go out to eat, we usually share a plate since I only eat a few bites so it saves us money.

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My hubby has gotten On-the-job training. He cooks a lot of our suppers and he sees what I can eat and what I can't and he's learning. The main problem is that he is a plate cleaner.... he eats everything on his plate and then cleans mine up too. He was raised to never leave anything on his plate so he doesn't know how to quit eating until its all gone. Why do parents do that to their kids??? Anyway, my hubby is seeing the weight loss and he's good with the eating plan and the results. When we go out to eat, we usually share a plate since I only eat a few bites so it saves us money.

I got rid of all of our "normal dinner plates" and we eat of what I would call a salad plate. Its the medium sized plate so when you put your portions on it looks way more than it is. Just a suggestion but it has really helped. As long as he is portioning, finish the plate.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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