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Friend said she's disappointed



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I agree that you handled it perfectly. But these comments are exactly why I don't tell ANYONE that I had it.

I was talking to a friend of mine... we have a mutual friend who had the lap band and is very vocal about her journey on her Facebook page. He went into the same rant about how it's cheating, taking the easy way out, etc.... he would never say that to her face. So I feel like even though people would say to my face "Oh good for you!" they will probably be just as quick to talk about me behind my back and spread MY story to anyone who would listen.

It's no one's business but mine. I choose to keep it to myself. :)

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Your friend sucks!! Sorry #notsorry it's the truth. Ignorance is just that - keep you head held high and do your thing sister! You will have lots of support here.

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On Sunday I had a communion party for my son. It's the first time I've seen a lot of family and friends since post op - 60 pounds ago. I tried to talk to my best friend about having surgery a few months ago but she was very vocal about how terrible she thinks it is, etc. I made a decision not to tell her and Sunday was the first time I saw her. She was excited to see me , we hugged and she said I look great , what am I doing. So I told her that I had sleeve surgery in February. Her attitude changed immediately. She told me how disappointed she is with me that I chose this route instead of putting in hard work and that I'm cheating. I smiled and told her this was a decision for me and the best thing I've ever done for myself. I told her that I'm happy and hope she can be happy for me. I assured her that this is in no way cheating and it's hard. How do you handle criticism from family and friends about your choice?

How do you handle situations like this? Exactly like this!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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<p>Thanks guys. It was definitely a WTF moment. She's heavy too and we've done a lot of programs together in the past like WW, gym, and even going to a diet Dr. for pills, etc. This is a journey I took solo and I think like what some of you said that it's more about her than me. I'm choosing to view it this way and will see how things go. I'll see her this Friday just the two of us, so hopefully I'll get a better sense of her attitude. Either way I'm moving forward, getting healthy, and feeling good.</p>

You did better than I would have cuz she would of had a WTF moment...how she disappointed and she still heavy...hmmmm...research is the key ...b4 opinions need to be given....;-)

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You handled that great... I'm very short tempered especially with family and friends ... I would have went off ... So hopefully the surgery coming soon for me may help me lower my guard

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Okay, what surprises me the most about this story is that I would NEVER criticize someone for a decision when it is too late, cannot be undone - I mean what is the point? Even if she was "right" it's not like you can get your previous oversize stomach back.

I think you handled it very well ... if it were me, not sure I would want to associate with her because seems like she could really be a negative force especially if you ever run into frustrations or problems (stalls etc)

I have been blessed with people who are either openly supportive or have the decency to keep their mouths shut.

BTW, I didn't tell my extended family in advance of the surgery. I told them afterwards, by email. I asked for their support and told them I understood not everyone would agree with my choice - and they could please keep that to themselves. I got a lot of congrats, good decision, good luck... and some silence. After about a year, the silent ones finally spoke up and said something like "I didn't feel comfortable that you did this, but i am so happy to see how successful you have been"

Truth is, they don't need to agree, they just need to not be an obstacle or detractor of my success. Friends and family should support us or at least not try to derail us...

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You handled it well. Some friend( rolling of the eyes). Jealous.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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