So, I've been single (divorced) for about a year now. I made the decision well before the end of my marriage to have VSG. I also made the decision to not get romantically involved with anyone new until well past my surgery when I am completely healed and past the awkward questions stage. I am now two weeks away from my surgery date and have decided to tell NOONE at all about this. Not my family (gossipy backstabbers) nor my close friends (skinny successful dieters who wouldn't understand this drastic choice I'm making).

So what happens a few weeks before surgery? I meet a great guy who is toooootally into me and whom I could get totally into as well. Damnit! This is not part of my mission statement AT ALL. I am not supposed to meet anyone for at least another six months!

How am i going to continue to see this man without telling him about my surgery? And telling him is out of the questions because we have so many shared friends and it's really not fair to ask him to keep such an important secret. I think I can make plausible excuses as to why I'm not eating 'normally' for a few weeks and I can actually disappear for the entire month after surgery because I am vacationing at my summer home to enjoy recovery away from the normal stresses of life.

BUT, what about the several small scars on my tummy? How bad will they look a month later? Will they be inconspicuous if I am naked in a dimly lit room?

Ugh. I HATE that I'm not being honest with people. I really do. But considering the type of people that are around me (mostly my family) I still think keeping it secret is the right thing to do for me personally. However, this new man has made things much more complicated then just disappearing for a month and telling people about my new eating habits.

Soory...there is no question here (except the short scar related questions). Mostly it's just a rant. And I guess it's not really that bad of a rant since my biggest problem is telling the man who is crazy about me that I am having a surgery which many people aren't't lucky enough to have covered by insurance or be able to afford out-of-pocket. First world problems, I know.

I am an open book when it comes to relationships. I get the whole keeping it a secret but if you are into this guy and this guy is totally into you I don't think there should be anything to hide. When I broke the news to my man, he had his questions at first but was totally supporting. He was more worried that I was going to drop weight like crazy fast like the Flash speed. I do believe that this might be a huge mistake if you do not tell him and continue to be intimate with him. I kept my surgery a total secret until I had a set date for surgery. I only told select few before I blew it up on Facebook via blog post and also my overly opinionated grandmother on my dads side. Anyways if this guy is totally into you like you say he will see past the surgery and see that you are bettering yourself health wise and love you no matter what.

You should tell him if it could be serious with him. As for your family and friends, if they are condescending and wouldn't understand then don't mention it until after surgery. Then I would tell them because you won't want anything to hold you back. You deserve happiness and surround yourself with people who respect and support your new path in life :-)