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What did you tell people at work?



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So I told my boss I was going to be out for WLS and she acted all sad for me. Like really? You just need to exercise and eat right....you need to make more time for you....and started telling me about her obese friend who lost over 100 lbs on her own. Then she told me later that if i have it, I just need to be honest when people ask me how I'm losing weight. She said a friend of hers had surgery and then told everyone she was doing Water aerobics. That was one of the first people I told outside of my family and the negative reaction stuck with me the rest of the day. Unfortunately, I do not have tough skin and it bothers me when people try to shove their opinions down my throat. So for now, I've decided not to tell anyone else. Did you tell anyone outside of your family? If not, how did you answer the "what are you doing to lose weight" question. I know it's my body and my business but just curious how you all handled it. 4/16/14 is my date...

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When people at work started noticing my weight loss, I just told them the truth. I cut back drastically on how much I was eating and was walking as much as I could every day. Unless they flat out asked me if I had surgery, I never mentioned it. It was almost a year post-op before I was asked if I had surgery. By then, I was comfortable enough to tell them that I had.

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I told my boss to give her ample time to find someone to cover my position, and at first I just said I was having a surgery and I didn't feel comfortable discussing the details. Later, I had a good talk with her about what I was doing, because she has always been fair and reasonable, and as expected, she was very supportive and accepting of it all.

That being said, if I didn't have that sort of boss, I wouldn't feel the need AT ALL to share why or tell anyone who isn't going to be in my corner and be wholly supportive of me. I honestly don't feel the need to explain anything to anyone about my decision to have surgery, how I lose weight, or anything else that is my personal business, and neither should you!

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I told my boss since he's the one who had to give me the time off. There's only 7 of us that work there, and there are two that know I had surgery in general. One assumed the 3 weeks I took off was because I was on vacation LOL. Don't I wish? His face was hilarious when I told him I had surgery. I had to reassure him it was for the best and wasn't a bad thing. It will become obvious in the coming months what type of surgery I had. And if they ask, I'll tell them. No biggie :)

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I've been contemplating this. Although the people I work with are my friends, I am not the type of person who talks about my issues much, even to most friends. I don't talk about when I've been on a diet and have lost weight. And I don't mention it when I start gaining again. This is something I just am not going to discuss with anyone from work. Love my coworkers but it can be gossipy and I just don't want to go there.

I do work with the public though and I am worried about clients asking me about it. None of their business as far as I'm concerned.

But I do know that people will notice. So I will have to come up with something. And avoid eating out with any of them for awhile.

I don't even like that the nurse and patient coordinator at my hospital know.

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Oh, and I decided to use vacation time instead of sick time. Lol. That is how much I want to keep it a secret.

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I tell people I take "phenteremine". They believe it. It's really no one's buisness.

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I told them the truth, I'm proud of this journey. They were all very kind and supportive. I only had 1 person tell me I wasn't big enough for WLS. I explained to her the health benefits I hope to reap. She had no idea. My co-workers are supportive , but I understand others may no be.

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I've told everyone except a select few (siblings and a few friends) that I was having hiatal hernia surgery. No regrets in handling it that way.

While early in the pre op process I told a close friend I was considering WLS and he went ballistic on me begging me not to do it and regularly emailing me links for supplements. He's still sending links ...

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To my closest and supportive friends, I told them exactly. To the opinionated and casual acquaintances, I told hiatal hernia repair. It's interesting because hiatal hernia repairs sometime involve weight loss post operatively.

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Ok thanks everyone. I'm still thinking I don't want to tell my coworkers because of some of the reasons you all have listed. They are very gossipy and I'm not sure I want everyone to know. Maybe later I will feel so confident I won't mind telling but not yet. I really hate that my boss made it sound like her friend was intentionally being deceitful when she didn't tell someone that asked that she had surgery. She told me it could be helpful to someone who is thinking about the surgery. I get that but I think I need to concentrate on me for a little while and worry about others later. Most of the people at my job that would have the nerve to come straight out and ask about it wouldn't be asking because they want help, but because they are Nosey Neddies and just want something else to gossip about at lunch. Still on the fence, but thinking I'm not telling. Just wish that I wasn't even worried about how I will handle any questions when I return to work.

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I'm not due for surgery until late May, but I feel absolutely the same. I will be telling my boss I am having a hiatal hernia repair, and call it quits. My boss is one of the worst gossips of the bunch. I have lost weight before and no one says anything directly to me except for the creepy guy across the hall that throws out an occasional looking good. I want to focus on me and not be concerned with what others opinion's are about my WLS choice.

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I think it just depends on who you work with.. I told my boss and she was very supportive, as were the co workers I told. If someone has something negative to say about it I don't really care anyway. Its my health at stake not theirs.

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I am just in the beginning stages of the process and have only told two people I work with. My Zumba partner and my ex sister in law. My ZP was super supportive and excited for me, ex SIL was a little surprised. I will not be telling the grouchy, gossiper. Especially because she has a snide comment for every person when they take even an hour off work. So I can imagine her reaction when I tell them I need two plus weeks off lol. I think my supervisor will be supportive but I am still on the fence about what to tell her. She does know that a hysterectomy is a possibility for me in the future so maybe she will just assume that is what it is. I still have months to think about this though as I haven't even met with my surgeon for the first time yet! ;) Good luck in whatever you decide to tell or not tell!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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