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Anyone not tell family?



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We'll I live in a small town and unfortunately when you tell a select few the world knows. I could care less about anyone knowing but my fear is failure and getting made fun of worse then the fat jokes.

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I told my Whole family, and they are and have been completely supportive! I knew I would NOT tell my inlaws though because first, they look down on me about my weight all the time, and I don't need their snide comments. My Sister in law is the worst, she used to be mean to her first husband about his weight in front of anyone, and I loved that she gained 50 pounds when she got pregnant and still hasn't lost it all ;) I can't wait to lose all this weight and flaunt it in front if her. Petty I know but there it is

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My husband knows and my two sons (ages 13 & 10), my mom, my ex-husband (kids dad), best friend and two co-workers. I will not be telling anyone in my husband's family except maybe one of his brothers. I just don't feel like dealing with any static. They'll know something is up because I work out several times a week, which they know, and I am losing at an extremely slow rate. They won't believe it's "just happening" lol. I think his dad & step-mom will be supportive but I'm not 100% sure about everyone else. Suppose time will tell!

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Only my husband my oldest daughter and my niece knows. A few people at work who have had bariatric surgery know because they are my cheering squad. I am going to lose weight like I have in the past and they'll just assume it's part of my up then down again. I know my mom will freak out and worry. My sister will fuel that worry with my mom. They don't need to know. Maybe some day way down the line I will confide in them but not now. It's my decision. My body. I want this for me so very much and I do not want to hear everyone's opinion who won't even keep an open mind or research this before they go off on me.

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I shared with my family members that I also consider to be friends, and that's it.

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Only my husband knows. He is the only one I plan to have know. I do not plan to tell anyone else...ever.

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This is HARD not telling any/every body! Ok. So now a neighbor friend that I talk to quite often knows and I almost spilled it with three more today, including my mom!!! I honestly don't know what she would say but she was so critical of my brother when I told her the profession he is starting to get into (they don't talk much), so ya, I didn't say anything. It's hard because my kids and I will be visiting her, hopefully, in mid July but it all depends on when surgery is scheduled so when she asks when we'll be coming I don't know what to tell her! All she knows is that something's going on but I can't say yet. ugh

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I don't get the. "No one knows except..." Then spout off 5 people. If 5 people know, it's no secret and you can bet 56+ people know and are whispering.

My spouse knows because he is my next of kin if something happened while I was in hospital

Not my parents

Not my children

Not my BFF

Not one or other siblings

Not my closest coworkers

Not my friends who had WLS before

Not my priest

Not my neighbor

Not my senile Aunt Susie

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I've answered this before on another thread..but why not ;)

Everyone important to me knows...that includes some friends, most family and a couple of coworkers...and then I confidently tell anyone who asks. Everyone has been super supportive; I have my own team of cheerleaders! They have offered encouragement and accountability already and I'm only a month out.

I did wait until after surgery to tell my dad and grandmother just because I knew they would worry.

I was inspired to have this surgery because of two people who very boldly and publicly shade their journeys, and I don't hesitate to share mine :)

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Bah!!!! I just told someone else. :P. Lol

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The only people who know about my surgery is my husband and my best friend. I don't intend to tell anyone else. I lost weight last year (90 lbs) and gained most of it back. I just choose to let them believe I am "back on the bandwagon" again. I seriously hope this is a permanent solution to my weight problem.

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The only people who know about my surgery is my husband and my best friend. I don't intend to tell anyone else. I lost weight last year (90 lbs) and gained most of it back. I just choose to let them believe I am "back on the bandwagon" again. I seriously hope this is a permanent solution to my weight problem.

I'm in the same boat. I (used to) lose and gain weight, like 50lb loss/gain, all of the time! I have been MIA since I have been real heavy and no one has seen me so when they do see me, it will not be a surprise. So I can get away with not having to divulge my weight loss secret. Everyone knows that I am an avid Dr.Atkins dieter so they will automatically contribute it to that.

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Weird thread, many here have not lost much weight after surgery. Either they are not updating weight loss or there is some correlation between not telling anyone and good success. I am pre-op and haven’t taken an add out, but don’t really care what people think. It’s a personal choice to better ones self. If others have a problem with that they can go some place where it is hot. Maybe letting people know will help one through the hard parts to prove they have made the correct decision and get back to where they want to be.

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Are you serious? Most of the people on the thread were just sleeved. I don't think you can judge whether someone has had success until they're past a certain point. I also don't think you can put an algorithm on success. At 6 months out now, I've lost 60 pounds since my pre-surgery/approval weight. My practice considers me a superstar, but my weight loss hasn't been fast by any means. Then again, my surgeon's goal for me is in the 160-170 range, even though my goal is lower.

I don't think it's fair to criticize others' rates of weight loss and to suggest a correlation makes even less sense to me.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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