My mom won't stop telling people...

[LWren 7]

I'm one week post op today! For my insurance I had to wait 9 months so I've been at this for almost a year. The whole time I've been very private about who I tell. My first clue was Christmas when I finally told my sister and It turned out she already knew and was mad I had not told her yet. I had a talk with my mom after that and told her this was very private for me and it was my business who I told and didn't. She got super mad and started going on about family and being proud of what I'm doing. So this past week I've been getting text and phone calls from family and once again she got all mad "why wouldn't you want your aunt to know, she's not going to judge you" because its my business and I'm not ready to tell the whole world... I'm not sure what else I can say to her to get her to stop.....

[Kindle 8,667]

My mom is the same way. I reluctantly told her after my sister talked me into it. She's been incredibly supportive, but she's also told everyone she's met. It's a major topic of conversation at her retirement park in Arizona. I called her one day and she was talking to the mom of an old HS Friend of mind whom I hadn't seen in 20+ years. Guess what they were talking about! The Christmas card I got from my aunt had a little note in it wishing me luck with my surgery. I told her to stop it but she hasn't. I've got two big mouth friends that also told dozens of other mutual friends so pretty much everyone knows. Fortunately everyone has been supportive and several are curious as to the details of my surgery and post op life. "You are so skinny now....bitch. Wish I was brave enough to do that too." is a phrase I hear a lot.

[Kittenheart 28]

Mercy, I totaly hear what your saying...my husband was doing the same thing but I am pre op and he is even giving out my pant sizes! Note I stressed "was" we had a talk and he gets it now.

[Rena's got this 274]

I waited until the last minute then told my ex. We share joint custody of teens, and he needed to know. I asked him not to share it with anyone, but true to form, it became a topic he felt compelled to talk about. I get a phone call from his sister's husband and it goes something like...."I heard you just did something really drastic...what the he..ll were you thinking. You could have done it through Weight Watchers or something."

Yes, I was disappointed and bummed....but you can't change a leopard's spots. I kinda knew the Beans would get spilled.

[NMJG 1,266]

Hugs to all of you. That kind of cr@p you don't need.

[inneedofchange 8]

What s going w some mothers? I wouldn't even tell mine.

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

And this is EXACTLY why I told my mother the sum total of bugger all about my surgery.

Mothers are old. They're bored. They have nothing left of interest to discuss within their own lives... So they start vicariously using their kids lives as a topic of interest.

My mother did this to me once before in a very different context. I warned her most sternly - 'do it again and I will tell you nothing personal about my life from this point onwards'.

Guess what - she did it again. Subsequently, I tell her very very little. Its quite sad, because it has ruined our relationship. But it was her choice.

I gave her options. I gave her the consequences of her actions. She made her choice. She now has to live with it.

[Andrew0929 1,102]

I didn't tell my mother. She needled me about losing weight for 40 years and still would have complained about my having surgery to do so.

Also she'd have told half the people in North America and she usually provides details inaccurately.

Glad I didn't tell her.

[sleevie.wonder 306]

I feel the same way you do as far as wanting to keep it private. Why is it so freaking hard to understand "don't tell anyone"? Makes me wish I hadn't told anyone at all. My boyfriend has already told his friends who I specifically told him NOT to tell. Now its only a matter of time before everyone else knows. It's not his damn business to tell. He says he had to tell them to explain why he was sluggish at work. Really?! Helping with your daughter for a week is effecting work?

Sorry, using this to vent lol.

[angeliiz80 38]

I'm one week post op today! For my insurance I had to wait 9 months so I've been at this for almost a year. The whole time I've been very private about who I tell. My first clue was Christmas when I finally told my sister and It turned out she already knew and was mad I had not told her yet. I had a talk with my mom after that and told her this was very private for me and it was my business who I told and didn't. She got super mad and started going on about family and being proud of what I'm doing. So this past week I've been getting text and phone calls from family and once again she got all mad "why wouldn't you want your aunt to know, she's not going to judge you" because its my business and I'm not ready to tell the whole world... I'm not sure what else I can say to her to get her to stop.....

At first I was private about telling people, but after about 6 months and losing 100 lbs I tell everyone that asks my weigh loss secret. You should be able to tell who you want in your own time. My mom told everyone too :*(

[Dolfinldy1 69]

I'm telling everyone I'm having my gallbladder removed and when that's over I'm really going to focus on getting back in shape!!! Lol. My mom always told me. What others don't know won't hurt me!! Let 'em wonder!!! Too many fricking busy bodies that need to worry about themselves and not what we decide to do.

[piercedqt78 658]

My mom is amazing, and she is a great support. But she tells EVERYONE about my surgery. If we go out to eat and I don't order, she tells the waitress that I've had WLS and I'll just pick off her plate, like I'm 4. Or when I don't finish my meal, she tells them I had most of my stomach removed and can't eat much and that I will need a box, then she proceeds to ask me why I don't request one when I order my food. (sometimes my dad eats whatever I have left over, so no box is needed). She added me to the prayer list at church, and instead of just listing surgery or medical issues, she actually had it printed in the bulliten that I had WLS. I don't even attend there on a regular basis. But now when I visit, people ask me if I'm the WLS daughter, and how much I have lost. It's crazy. I HAD to tell my mom, she helped with my daughter while I was in the hospital, my hubs works a lot of over night shifts, and my daughter was only 11 when I had surgery.

[green*eyed*girl 170]

I'm telling everyone I'm having my gallbladder removed and when that's over I'm really going to focus on getting back in shape!!! Lol. My mom always told me. What others don't know won't hurt me!! Let 'em wonder!!! Too many fricking busy bodies that need to worry about themselves and not what we decide to do.

That is exactly my story too, and my mom strongly encouraged not to share with anybody. Smart woman, love her so much, she helps me with my journey tremendously!

I feel for all of you, it must be horrible. It is really a big life change and a lot to deal with, the last thing I would want to do is keep explaining myself to everybody and listen to their comments :/

[Kindle 8,667]

My mom is amazing, and she is a great support. But she tells EVERYONE about my surgery. If we go out to eat and I don't order, she tells the waitress that I've had WLS and I'll just pick off her plate, like I'm 4. Or when I don't finish my meal, she tells them I had most of my stomach removed and can't eat much and that I will need a box, then she proceeds to ask me why I don't request one when I order my food. (sometimes my dad eats whatever I have left over, so no box is needed). She added me to the prayer list at church, and instead of just listing surgery or medical issues, she actually had it printed in the bulliten that I had WLS. I don't even attend there on a regular basis. But now when I visit, people ask me if I'm the WLS daughter, and how much I have lost. It's crazy. I HAD to tell my mom, she helped with my daughter while I was in the hospital, my hubs works a lot of over night shifts, and my daughter was only 11 when I had surgery.

Sorry I have to laugh at your post...sounds just like my mom. The whole telling strangers in a restaurant and I, too, am known as the WLS daughter in her community.

To tell you the truth, though, it really doesn't bother me. I am more comfortable accepting compliments and talking to the people that do know than I am facing the people that don't know because I feel guilty about lying if I don't disclose my "weight loss secrets".

[piercedqt78 658]

My mom is amazing, and she is a great support. But she tells EVERYONE about my surgery. If we go out to eat and I don't order, she tells the waitress that I've had WLS and I'll just pick off her plate, like I'm 4. Or when I don't finish my meal, she tells them I had most of my stomach removed and can't eat much and that I will need a box, then she proceeds to ask me why I don't request one when I order my food. (sometimes my dad eats whatever I have left over, so no box is needed). She added me to the prayer list at church, and instead of just listing surgery or medical issues, she actually had it printed in the bulliten that I had WLS. I don't even attend there on a regular basis. But now when I visit, people ask me if I'm the WLS daughter, and how much I have lost. It's crazy. I HAD to tell my mom, she helped with my daughter while I was in the hospital, my hubs works a lot of over night shifts, and my daughter was only 11 when I had surgery.

Sorry I have to laugh at your post...sounds just like my mom. The whole telling strangers in a restaurant and I, too, am known as the WLS daughter in her community.

To tell you the truth, though, it really doesn't bother me. I am more comfortable accepting compliments and talking to the people that do know than I am facing the people that don't know because I feel guilty about lying if I don't disclose my "weight loss secrets".

Oh it's not like I kept it a secret. I am very open about my situation, but when I mention it to a waitress I am discreet about it, not my mom, she is loud and makes sure everyone around hears.