Hey Vets,

So i used to weigh 315 pounds and I am now 5 months post op and lost 84 pounds. My problem: I have been off plan, off track, off everything. I have been very emotional and going through a lot and because of that, it has de-railed me. I am a recovering compulsive binge eater and I do attend OA but I haven't made it to meetings and I have been busy and I have gone off the deep end.

As i was losing weight, I began swimming every day, first to control pain and then to train to become a lifeguard. Once i became a lifeguard, I stopped going swimming , because I hit my goal of getting my lifeguarding certification and so i stopped exercising.

I used to eat really healthy, things like spinach on 1/2 whole wheat tortilla with crumbled goat cheese, Protein shakes, 3 oz of chicken breast. I could eat pretty much anything without feeling sick. That's where it all went wrong. I realized I could eat things and it would not make me feel sick or give me a stomach ache. I have never once puked from eating too much or eating the wrong foods. I started eating everything. First it was popcorn, then Cookies, then pretzels, then cupcakes and and and...on and on it went. Nothing makes me feel sick...not greasy, not fatty..not sugary..nothing..I was relying on my stomach to make me feel really ill like it made others feel..and it didnt..Then..instead of it becomming about eating everything..it became about eating more...Now i can eat...like..10 cookies in a sitting...I can eat 1/2 bag of pretzels... I can eat 1 cupcake... I know this is way less then what i used to be able to eat..and yes.. eating chicken breast and fish and steak.. i can still only eat 3 oz..but the sliders..and Soup...i can eat lots..so ive been bingeing..to deal with the sadness I feel inside. Its been pissing my husband off. Instead of exercising, im sleeping.. Instead of not eating..im bingeing on 2 slices of pizza and snacking non stop and eating junk all the time...He sees me going back to how i used to be..no longer active..just eating and eating and eating...

I need help.. a lot of help. I don't know what to do? where to start back? I don't know how to get my restriction back? What do i eat? How do i go back to the beginning? How do i start losing weight? How do i stop bingeing? and eating junk?

Today so far... I have drank 1 Protein shake and drank 1 cup of sugar free tea. What else should i do? Do i go back to shakes for just a week? nothing else? do i eat protein like eggs? Help please.

I cant' take caffein, but at 5 months out, one cup is probably ok.