All my life I was kind of stepped on. I was the fat friend and I accepted that role. I'm not the first invited to parties, I'm not the one guys have the hots for and so that made me take a backseat on life. If something happened, I avoided confrontation and moved on. If I felt like I got the shit end of the deal, I just move on. I dont start drama, because no one like the fat, loud, complaining woman. If people make remarks about me, I dont confront and move on. If I don't get invited, I move on. I'm sick and tired of this!

I don't want this backseat role in life anymore. If I feel happy, I want to show it. If I feel hurt, I want to show it. If I feel angry, I want to show it. Before, I used to not want to draw attention to myself. If I felt like I was slighted, I felt like I couldn't defend myself because they will pull out the "shut up fatty" card. If I got into an argument, they just needed to remind me of how I looked to hit me in on how I feel. This is why I just don't confront and move on. 'Please ignore me. Please don't make fun of my weight. I'll just mind my own business so you dont have a reason to be mean.' This was, sadly, how I felt for a long time. That and I had substantial hair loss, which did not help my confidence issues.

So I kind of went bitch mode today and it felt good. I was sitting in the library doing schoolwork and I went to get coffee and came back to everything moved to another table or thrown away. I asked the guy sitting in my seat what happened, and he barely looks at me and said he threw away the trash. I decided to take the seat beside him so that he can apologize or acknowledge what he did. Nothing. I told him I had my phone on the table and its gone, even though it was in my pocket. He doesnt look at me and said, nope. I said I can't find it, its hard to tell when all your stuff is moved. Ignored. I said its rude to move other people's belongings. Ignored. He just flips a page nonchalantly and ignores me.

I look like the crazy one, talking in the quiet library to myself. So I asked, "Did you take it? I'll need your student number to report to the university". He grabs his stuff and said we can go to the security together. I followed him 10 steps, turned around and took back my seat. He comes back and I said, "Sorry, guess I found it." Tough. Shit. That was petty, but revenge feels good. I've never done this before and probably take the high route next time but boy....it felt GOOD.

Standing up for myself....who knew I stopped doing that...

Good for you! What a jerk. Who moves somebody else's stuff to take their seat. He's a first class A-hat. And I'm glad you got him back!

If you don't stand up for what you believe in then you never will. Glad you were able to overcome that. Congratulations. Good for you.