Keeping it a secret?

[Maggie63 0]

This is a great thread. I was banded in 2005...and have only told family and 1 close friend. My fear was once again not being successful. Now that I am so close to goal...I am thinking of sharing. From past experience I know I will be judged for my decision not to tell (a lot of the gals at work are constantly telling me how good I look and how did I do it.....they will consider me not telling a lie). I don't feel that way. It is a very personal decision...it is NO ONEs business. I always preface whatever I say with "it is the hardest thing I have ever done" Which is very true.

After I reach my goal I may tell...only to educate and help others. I think it is sad that we have to feel bad about the band......we should be shouting it from the mountain tops!!!!!

[METALBAND 0]

I have only told my husband and kids. I feel like we are judged all the time on everything we do. I do not want to be judged on my decision to get banded. It is my decision and I do not want to have to explain it to anyone. I have a long road ahead. I am sure that people would not understand. If I had to justify it to people it would make the journey harder. My family is very supportive and happy for me. That is all I need (and this site of course)!!!

[Doddie63 6]

Hi: When you have the lap band as you start to loose weight, and someone mentions it, the decision you have to make is "how much to tell". All the gory details can be left out. Simply say, yes, I am loosing weight with my doctor's assistance. Then say to yourself "and the band". Unless you want to broadcast how proud you are of the band (which is what I do and have lost contact with my sister because of it), your choice is there to tell as much as you care to tell. Just be aware, not everyone is going to be in your camp cheering if you do decide to tell all.

[FurEllie 0]

One of the MAIN reasons I regret telling anyone is that people think it's similart to GBP and can't believe I've only lost 20+ pounds in over 2 months. :mad: Personally, I'm DARNED HAPPY with my loss. But they are so disappointed that I haven't lost the 50 or so those with GBP lose in the first couple of months.

[chimboree26 24]

One of the MAIN reasons I regret telling anyone is that people think it's similart to GBP and can't believe I've only lost 20+ pounds in over 2 months. :mad: Personally, I'm DARNED HAPPY with my loss. But they are so disappointed that I haven't lost the 50 or so those with GBP lose in the first couple of months.

Don't even sweat the haters! Don't worry about what they say...I know that's easier said than done. You are doing GREAT!!! And I think the Lap Band is a better procedure (IMO)--b/c we don't get that bobble-headed look like a lot of GBP patients. I think that look comes from the rapid weight loss.

Just keep your head up, encourage yourself, and keep up the good work. :mad:

[FurEllie 0]

b/c we don't get that bobble-headed look like a lot of GBP patients. I think that look comes from the rapid weight loss.

Bobble headed, lol! :what: Thanks - you made my night. I DID wonder why GBP folks always looked a little odd

[METALBAND 0]

If you are going to keep it a secret....make sure the heperon (sp) shots and the IV bruises can be hidden, My bruises are a give a way that I was in the hospital recently. I have to wear long sleeves to cover my arms!

Just and FYI

[Maggie63 0]

Well, my plans to keep it a secret might be changing. I have a new friend from work (we have gotten to know each other over the last year). She is a lovely girl with a big heart...but she does like to gossip...as do many of the other women we work with.

Well she called me yesterday to tell me that she was talking to "Marsha" at work (major gossip and often makes stuff up about people if she feels like it) and Marsha told her I had gastric bypass. Deb asked me outright if I had had it .... and of course I said no. I told her that Marsha was just making it up to see if she would spill the Beans. I did end up telling Deb about the lapband because I felt that it was the right thing for me to do.

Now my dilemma....should I take this oppurtunity to start telling people (those I know could benefit from the band). I do not care about the Marshas of the world...she is a hater who talks about everyone. But since she has planted that seed with people...maybe it is a good time to start educating. I had always planned on telling after I was successful...I was just afraid that I would not be.

What do you guys think?

[AnotherMe 0]

Maggie,

I've also been considering letting others know about my surgery. I'm 18 mo out, 25-30 lbs from goal and I feel more comfortable with my success.

As I look back on it, I know the main reason I was hesitant to tell people was due to the fact they would see me as a failure. Since that's not an issue anymore, I feel better in my "skin".

For my close friends, I plan to sit them down and explain the procedure. It was not a quick decision for me, I researched and contemplated for 6 mo before I went thru with it. It may not be for everybody, but it was the right decision for ME.

Marsha has too much time on her hands, tell her your life is not a news story. What you did in Dec 2005 to improve your life is your business only. There must be someone or something else more interesting for her to talk about... didn't she hear the recent news report about those 3-4 ladies who got fired over gossiping?

All the best,

Karla

[Maggie63 0]

Karla-

Thanks so much for you post. Like you, I did not tell in the beginning because I was afraid of failure. Now that I am so close to goal that fear is no longer there.

You are right about the "Marshas" of the world. If it were not me she was gossiping about....it would be someone else. All I can do is feel sorry for someone like her.

Still not sure what the right decision is. Has anyone else had to deal with this situation?

[AZgal 0]

I haven't told a SINGLE person. Not even my DH. He is anti-hospital and anti-doctor and doesn't even like me taking prescription meds. He would think this is unnatural and a waste of money and too big of a risk.

I am probably kidding myself that I will be able to hide it, though. The weight loss can be explained, bc both of us are planning on starting a diet right around the date of my op. But there are the other side effects that I don't know if I can explain.

He thinks I am going away to stay with my mother for a few days, as she just had back surgery.

I don't think people at work will know, bc I came back from maternity leave much heavier than I was even when I was 9 mos pg. So they will just think I'm finally tackling the 'baby weight'. Plus I am a low BMI so I will probably lose it somewhat slowly anyway.

My biggest fear is that karma will bite me in the tush and something terrible will happen on the operating table, and the person who didn't want ANYONE to know will have EVERYONE know.

I am scheduled for Thurs 31st. Wish me luck....

Dyanna

[Doddie63 6]

I wish you the best results from the surgery. Do you have a partner that will be there for you? The day of and the next day you are very groggy and there may be prescription medication required. If not, suggest you take along some pain killers, gas X, and bottled Water.

Good luck in keeping the news from your DH but you will have to tell him eventually because of the incisions and other things. Doddie

[anjul19 0]

I haven't been shy talking about getting my band...told friends, co-workers, some family members. I think for me because I am so insecure I needed support before the procedure & will definitely need it after so by telling people I will gain support & feedback.

I had told my parents that I was looking into it, with horrendous results. They were "disappointed in me", "I was taking the easy way out", "I could do it on my own if I tried" and that "I never follow through on anything." Totally devastated me. My DH made me hang up the phone with them as I was hysterical. Understand, both of my parents are obese, and have been my whole life and have been diagnosed with Type II diabetes. My main goal for the band is to prolong my life & make it healthier. They couldn't grasp that.

Needless to say, they are unaware that I had the procedure last week and I don't know when or how I will tell them. Kind of unsettling, but I am an adult who feels she made the right choice for her life.

[AZgal 0]

I'm not taking anyone with me, but I am having surgery on Thurs and not coming home til Sat, so Fri night at the hotel is really the only time I'll be alone. Hopefully I'll meet other people with surgery date around mine when I arrive.

What does the incision look like? I'm used to not letting DH see me nekkee very much, since the weight gain anyway.

[chimboree26 24]

I'm not taking anyone with me, but I am having surgery on Thurs and not coming home til Sat, so Fri night at the hotel is really the only time I'll be alone. Hopefully I'll meet other people with surgery date around mine when I arrive.

What does the incision look like? I'm used to not letting DH see me nekkee very much, since the weight gain anyway.

AZgal, this link may help you out w/the scars: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/scar-stages-share-yours-6117/

This should give you an idea of what to expect.

HTH!