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Terrible! Sounds like she is getting nervous you may look better and be healthier than she! Sad excuse for a friend! I have a friend who worked so very hard to get her 79lbs off "the hard way" and scoffed at my 35 lb loss so far as "well it's not as tho you lost it in a healthy way" blah! I'm slowly learning this year(and not even due to my surgery bc I only told a handful of people) that I only have room in my life for truly GOOD people, the rest need to go! Not in a harsh way but I'm moving on with or without them! I hope you dear sweet friend do the same! All I've read from you over the last many months shows you are a wonderfully kind and strong woman who deserves support not belittling! Hugs!

I guess you never know who is lurking in the background reading about you on here ;) ...Thank you for your kind words..That was very sweet of you to say! Sorry about your friend...I really wonder if they think at all about the effect they can have negative or positive...Doesn't matter I will fumble through like I have so far and pick up all the pieces when it is all over and sorted out....You can believe that! :)

Edited by RJ'S/beginning

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Not lurking was more shy at first and had little to say until after surgery(which once was decide came very fast) I supposed it was lurking but that sounds scary lmao! I prefer learning from the more experienced! I'm pretty sure I've commented on your posts! Either way hang in there!

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Nah! I was just playing with you.....I am glad you got on board and express yourself....Personally I am glad you have learned some stuff...I thought I had it all figured out and wrote differently then I do now....Such confidence and air....I was sure humbled and now I see things completely different..Maybe I should have just watched, read and learned from those who were going through it....I cringe when I read my before surgery posts....yikes.....Nice to meet you Crissy....

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Yesterday I read that the worse for people to say I fell of a diet or a program....their friends. Really???? Just because we are making them jealous they will try to sabotage us. Too bad. We are working hard and we are here for a good reason. :)

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Sorry that your friend did you like that. I have been the smallest out of all my friends and we have been friends since junior high school. When I first start gaining the weight they were sooo happy we all ate and ate and ate together. We all have develop a health issue throughout the years. Being that I consider myself still young I wanted to do something about it. I'm not as close with a lot of them as I used to be or have I spoken to them in a while. But they don't know I have had the surgery and are now calling saying things like your trying to be the skinny one again when I post a picture on fb or the sending me messages asking how did I lose weight. I choose not tell because some people can be negative and become jealous for no reason. I'm still the same person inside!

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This is exactly why I choose to tell no one outside my husband and children. I was even upset when the paid surgeon sent records to my primary care physician in my one horse town because a so called big mouth friend works in the records department. Waiting on the news to hit the street any moment now. Lol I just feel like the more that know the more u are judged...oh she is not loosing or she looks awful....they only say that when you have had weight loss surgery and they know about it! If my boss knew I had it over the holidays she would fire me cause she is really jealous of anything I lose:-(. I feel like it is such a personal journey...I don't even like that I had to tell my husband and kids because they are always saying what have you done to yourself? Really??? Lol I have lost 23 lbs since Dec. 18th that's what I have done FOR myself!

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Mean. You have obviously been taking care of yourself! I am outraged! After all the wonderful advice you give us all here on this page! Maybe you should counsel her about her own insecurities and the fact that taking care of oneself entails not scaling rooftops in the middle of winter!

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Mean. You have obviously been taking care of yourself! I am outraged! After all the wonderful advice you give us all here on this page! Maybe you should counsel her about her own insecurities and the fact that taking care of oneself entails not scaling rooftops in the middle of winter!

Your too much..you made me laugh! :lol:

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I really think it's jealousy. I have a childhood best friend--my kids call her Auntie, she spends holidays with us, we vacation together and she's practically my sister. Anyway, she's gained weight over the years but has always been smaller than me and she cannot STAND that I'm smaller than her. She almost didn't come down for Christmas because of it. I told her that she was beautiful and that we loved her for her, and she needed to stop be silly and come down for the holiday. She said, "I'm not use to looking like this. I'm embarrassed. You've been fat most of your life and you were used to it, but I'm not."

Ya...no words. Just a gaping mouth. Needless to say, she didn't get a gift for the holiday. And I didn't remove the cold shoulder until some major a$$ kissing and groveling occurred.

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Gettingsexyback, If your information is "leaked" by this "friend" working in the records department, you can inform the manager of the office and that person will be fired. HIPPA protects your information and if that person cannot keep your information confidential, that friend needs to find another job.

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I really think it's jealousy. I have a childhood best friend--my kids call her Auntie, she spends holidays with us, we vacation together and she's practically my sister. Anyway, she's gained weight over the years but has always been smaller than me and she cannot STAND that I'm smaller than her. She almost didn't come down for Christmas because of it. I told her that she was beautiful and that we loved her for her, and she needed to stop be silly and come down for the holiday. She said, "I'm not use to looking like this. I'm embarrassed. You've been fat most of your life and you were used to it, but I'm not."

Ya...no words. Just a gaping mouth. Needless to say, she didn't get a gift for the holiday. And I didn't remove the cold shoulder until some major a$$ kissing and groveling occurred.

Your right...As I read this my mouth was gaping open...........some friend kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yours was right up and personal...Mine was at least kinda backwards...yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Gettingsexyback, If your information is "leaked" by this "friend" working in the records department, you can inform the manager of the office and that person will be fired. HIPPA protects your information and if that person cannot keep your information confidential, that friend needs to find another job.

I believe the office could face a huge fine as well! Your gossiping friend would def. have a hard time seeking similar employment if she did something as stupid as spreading confidential information around.

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Praying she is not that stupid cause I will retaliate. :-) I have worked to hard to keep this on the down low for reasons that I don't want snide remarks or ugliness in my life...my life is full of positivity...That's why I have all of you to share my secrets with;-)

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Your right...As I read this my mouth was gaping open...........some friend kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yours was right up and personal...Mine was at least kinda backwards...yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry about your friend, I have been over weight all my life. My family tried to help me by taking me to Dr.s ,getting me a gym membership when I was 15. I would slip around after the family went to sleep because I was hungry. There is no telling how much money my parents spent or after I got old enough to hold a job that I have spent on losing weight. I have had cousins say if you would loose weight you have such a pretty face ,you would be beautiful, it would really hurt my feelings.I know how she hurt you, just remember that you are under a Dr.s care and if he thinks you have lost enough he will tell you. I think I would give her the cold shoulder for a while and when she asks what's wrong tell her how she hurt you by her careless comment. Mean while we are all here for you. Hope you feel better.

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Your right...As I read this my mouth was gaping open...........some friend kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yours was right up and personal...Mine was at least kinda backwards...yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry about your friend, I have been over weight all my life. My family tried to help me by taking me to Dr.s ,getting me a gym membership when I was 15. I would slip around after the family went to sleep because I was hungry. There is no telling how much money my parents spent or after I got old enough to hold a job that I have spent on losing weight. I have had cousins say if you would loose weight you have such a pretty face ,you would be beautiful, it would really hurt my feelings.I know how she hurt you, just remember that you are under a Dr.s care and if he thinks you have lost enough he will tell you. I think I would give her the cold shoulder for a while and when she asks what's wrong tell her how she hurt you by her careless comment. Mean while we are all here for you. Hope you feel better.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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