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Mixed feelings i need advice



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I'm having lots of mixed feelings the past few days. 12 days post op and just not happy but at the same time I am happy??. food was literally my everything and now that I can't eat foods I want I feel like I lost a best friend. I've lost 10 pounds so far but I feel like I should be losing more? I'm scared anxious excited mad and depressed. All I want to do is sit on my couch.(I just went back to work today) To make it worse it's -20 degrees out.

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And it's really hard when my family makes dinner and I can't eat it

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Welcome to the club. I have those thoughts as well where I am still on full liquids and will be at my one month post op mark in two days. We've had family here over the holidays and everyone's been eating, and I feel left out at times too not being able to enjoy and partake like the others. My brother in-law came over and made his famous maple curry chicken...Needless to say I just walked myself to the dungeon (basement) and had a shake for supper while the rest got to partake. In two days my work has another staff meeting where they'll no doubt be supplying pizza for everyone to munch on.

On the flip side, at some point we'll be able to eat all the foods again. It's a when, not an if....That's my motivation to keep me going! :)

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It takes awhile to adjust to not thinking about about food. The first month is pretty rough. The first few days I thought to myself, what have I done. I sat at the table with my family an watched them eat these huge plates of food and I wondered if I would ever eat a normal meal again. I thought I had made the worst mistake of my entire life. The surgery has actually had thee opposite effect. I have more freedom than I have ever had. I am now able to ride roller coasters with my kids and not be so nervous that I will not fit. You will learn to replace food with other activities. Hang in there you can do this! It is hard at first, but we have all walked the same path that you are walking and in the end it is worth it. Keep up the good work. You have got this.

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I wish I could say it gets better but....

I am 2,5 mos post op. Before surgery, food was my best friend (how sad!). Now that I can barely get in 600 cals a day, i had times where I felt like something was missing. And it was, no watching TV while stuffing my face to the point of exhaustion. No running (ok waddling) back and forth to the fridge. I plan my meals in the beginning of the week and it has freed up so much time, I now find time to exercise every morning. Even if its only 15 min....i spend time looking for healthy recipes.

What I am not doing is feeding my unhappiness. I dont plan any jaunts based on where we can eat, i dont spend alot of money on junk food or midnight raids.

I havent lost as much as I think I should have but its almost 50 lbs gone and I feel like a new person. I am more content with myself.

It took a while to get here. In the beginning stages I kind of felt lost, but now I am discovering a new me. You will too. Just keep on keeping on!!

Good luck

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I think everyone goes through this in the beginning at some point. Eventually you will be able to eat whatever you want just at a normal volume instead of the excess that used to be had. I went through a time when I was questioning what i did. It was shortly after surgery and i was nauseous and vomiting all the time I couldn't eat anything. We have to find something to replace the food. It meant so much to us before surgery and we dont realize having surgery is going to leave us with a void. Sometimes just taking a bath to relax helped me.

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The new normal is everyone of our friends and relatives pigging out and we cannot. Not pigging out is our new normal and it feels so good to me, but I miss food in the past 7 weeks. However I can eat so many things, Soups, eggs, shakes, yogurts, you all know. I think winter doldrums also keep us in large sweatpants and big fluffy robes, but when Spring comes we will all put on shorts and swimsuits and say it was really worth it. Just remember this is a really bad winter but it won't last forever. Tomorrow is a better day. Our moods come and go. Still recovering from surgery and lifestyle change. Hugs!

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Amen!

14 days post-op.

I was just commenting to my family I missed pigging out. I am bored and agitated from some work stuff. It is painfully obvious I would stuff at times like these to eliminate the agitation. Beautiful oblivion stuffing myself gave me but the repercussions were killing me.

Hmm, maybe this is an opportunity to work on me and dig into the emotion/agitation. Or I can strangle my boss. Choices!

Damn emotions.

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I only read the first post, but I just wanted to say:

You should see a psychologist. Most of us have unhealthy relationships with food, but that sounds pretty serious.

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I'm having lots of mixed feelings the past few days. 12 days post op and just not happy but at the same time I am happy??. food was literally my everything and now that I can't eat foods I want I feel like I lost a best friend. I've lost 10 pounds so far but I feel like I should be losing more? I'm scared anxious excited mad and depressed. All I want to do is sit on my couch.(I just went back to work today) To make it worse it's -20 degrees out.

Hi

That weight loss is good. Don't forget that if you had to lost weight prior to surgery, your weight loss will be a little slower than say someone who had not restricted their diet...just like when we all go on diets, we have a good loss on the first week then it slows down.

I started making other things my "best friend", like clothes, handbags and shoes. I remember buying lots of scarves in all different designs and colours for the suits and dresses I planned to buy in the future....I can tell you I was matching those scarves to those suits, shoes and handbags within 6 months of my operation.

I think once you start to see and feel the changes in your shape and size you will get a new lease on life.

You'll get there.

Xx

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I'm at 7 weeks post op...

There have been times I get so bored with whatever I'm eating, I just stop. Those times eating is a chore.

I've been frustrated at the fact that it takes me 20 minutes to eat 1/2 an egg.

I've also had times where I'm completely satisfied when I finish eating and don't have that feeling of "I'd like more."

The range of emotions has been surprising to me - I wasn't prepared for it. I also realized AFTER surgery, that I had emotional issues and attachments to food that I didn't realize I had.

Hang in there! It will get better - this is becoming my new normal.

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I was so embarrassed before surgery when my husband told someone "we have been eating like HOOOGS!!!!! "

He would go a month on liquid shakes and then yes, be starving to death. Guess it looked like hogs eating. Thank God I do not have to hear him ever say again I eat like a HOG!!!!!!

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Thank you all for your kind words. I dug into some good books at the library and hopefully it will keep my mind off things. Seeing my doc for my 2 week post op apt Friday and I'll check to see what kind of therapy there is for me :* excited for the next few weeks!!! I believe in myself!!! And I CAN DO IT!!

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It gets better, I promise. Just hang on and you will see it's worth it, and these days will be a distant memory.

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I'm having lots of mixed feelings the past few days. 12 days post op and just not happy but at the same time I am happy??. food was literally my everything and now that I can't eat foods I want I feel like I lost a best friend. I've lost 10 pounds so far but I feel like I should be losing more? I'm scared anxious excited mad and depressed. All I want to do is sit on my couch.(I just went back to work today) To make it worse it's -20 degrees out.

Some of what you are feeling are normal. By the way I got some of that weather too. This is a good time to reach out to your Nut and therapist and support groups.

I m just saying just to talk through your feelings. I remember certain foods I was addicted to. Now 10months later I don't miss them. Particular white flour, white sugar and products made with them. They added the pounds and kept me from the life I deserve. It's a process. Getting sleeve is the best thing I've done just for me. It's normal or even a process.You will get through this. I suggest revisiting your goals as well. Be encouraged. I don't regret getting sleeve I thought I was a slow looser compared to my surgery group but hey 95 lbs in10 months I'm getting there. It's ok I'm on the slow train. As one poster (Gmanbat) Said I will make the same destination. Goal weight. Your sleeve is working too. Keep posting too it helps.

Edited by Ballermom

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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