Dani.o.dani

Hi everyone, I'm Dani and I'm excited to be here. I am having VSG surgery some time in January of 2014 (date yet to be set). I am starting off at just shy of 300lbs. I have been heavy my whole life with a bmi around 40, but after the birth of my second child in 2 years and working 3rd shift my weight spiraled totally out of control and I gained over 100 pounds in about 15 months. I was in constant pain, walking, standing, sitting for too long hurt. I tried to exercise but it was extremely painful. From mid 2010-mid 2013 I was awake most of the day with my young children and then would work at night for 10 hours a night. I woke up one day and looked at myself in the mirror. I really saw myself, my exhaustion, my stress, my fatigue, my weight, my depression, my tension, my fear were all over my body. Over the years I had tried trainers, weight watchers, south beach, slim fast, phentramine, crash dieting, curves, and the body for life program I would have some success but the feelings of constant hunger and deprivation would take their toll and eventually I would regain my weight and then some. I felt like a failure. I didn't feel like a failure standing there at my heaviest. I felt like I needed to love myself and take care of myself. I looked at myself with tenderness and compassion. I needed help, not shame. I got a therapist, changed jobs, and started trying to lose weight on my own. The constant hunger was still an issue. I had a friend lose weight with the VSG surgery and she was incredibly successful [b]because[/b] her portions were finally under control. It was a lightbulb moment when she said her portions were under control and her hunger was reduced. I talked to my doctor about if I could qualify for surgery, and my doctor was extremely supportive. That was in late August 2013. I am so glad I asked for help.